Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Take a break, have a kit-kat

I'm so sorry dear readers but I am going to have a take a break for a bit.

I hope to be back soon but at the moment my job is just too stressful and busy for me to even contimplate blogging. Spare time is being spent AWAY from work and blogging just feels like additional work at the moment so I just don't have the energy or desire.

This isn't goodbye, more of a see you soon!


Friday, 7 November 2008

No more drugs for you!

Lines delivered by my Series Producer today.

Does anyone have some deodorant I can use? I have arm pits like a sailor!

I'm so sexy, I have phlegm on my chin!

My husband is like my best friend. Plus he has a huge shaft!

A Friday is never dull in my office.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

An Apology

I have been a bad blogger of late.

It isn't that I don't love you guys, in fact when I think about my blog I feel massive amounts of guilt as I am letting my readers down by not being witty, intelligent and interesting. It is just that work has been so incredibly busy that BLOGGING about work is the last thing that I want to do.

And quite frankly it just hasn't been that exciting of late.

I could tell you how I accidentally called my Series Producer's father a Paedophile.

I still haven't lived that one down.

But I will leave that for another time.

But in all honestly with the amount of work that is being piled on me I just don't have the time to write any instances down and instead am either going home and collapsing or going climbing.

At present I am a glorified Travel Agent booking travel and hotels around the country for our shoots coming up through November and December.

And all I am actually doing is counting down the days until Jailbait and I head to Cape Town.

35 to go.

I promise I will be back soon giving you plenty of eye candy in my typical Miss M style so in the meantime please bear with me and don't abandon me!

Monday, 3 November 2008

Who's your Daddy?

Nepotism is rife within the Television industry. This close knit community of people would rather have "one of their own" than allow a total random an opportunity. When given the choice between a bosses child and a poor sap who has applied for the position they always go with the family member.

This is extremely frustrating in some situations.

For example we have a Runner (for definitions of these roles read my previous post here) working on our current show. He happens to be the son of one of the Executive Producers within the company. In all fairness to him he did apply for the job without telling anyone who he was, but as soon as you see him and speak to him you would have to be deaf and blind not to notice who's son he is!

Now he is a sweetheart. I really like him and have no issues with him BUT it is more the role that is happening now.

No one wants to give him the runner jobs etc because of the fact that he is one of the Exec's son so on our shoots which are coming up we are having to hire another Runner to work on them.

It seems to redundant to me. Especially as I am working extremely hard over here trying to keep costs down.

Oh well.

Nepotism will forever be alive in the work place I guess.

I can just be proud of the fact that I made it where I am without any help from anyone.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

There is no place like home, there is no place like home

The toilet is my happy place at the moment.

It is the only quiet place in the entire department where people are not constantly harassing me and demanding things off of me.

It's cold in there.

The seat isn't very comfy and there is no reading material.

Yet it is my safe haven.

I think I am spending indecent amounts of time in there. My colleagues are probably starting to think that I have some sort of bladder dysfunction but I honestly do not care anymore.

The problem with having a really big team?

More people to bother you.

22 people to bother me at present.

All these whining voices

Miss M can you ...

Miss M I need ...

Miss M ...


The toilet is a much better place.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Wrong signals

Mixed signals in all aspects of life are just tiring and confusing.

Boys sending you the wrong signal just leads to embarrassing and frustrating situations.

Bosses telling you one thing and then changing around completely without informing you but expecting you to know is equally frustrating and embarrassing.

I worked with my current Manager on my previous show and we had a system with costs and money that I spent. I cleared everything with her and that was the way she liked to do it.

Now we're on this new show together and I was just continuing doing the same thing. I get this email

Miss M - if you can reference to the budget/cost monitor to see what we have budgeted in so I don't have to approve all hotel/travel for the team

Ok, fair enough but don't make me feel as if I'm putting you out for something that I was just used to doing.

Makes me feel a bit like a moron.

Oh well.

The clocks went back in the UK over the weekend. It is now dark at 1700 and thoroughly depressing. When we reach this time of the year I always feel the desperate need to move back to South Africa, I get horribly homesick and just want to return.

I often wonder how many Saffas return to SA vs how many settle and make a life for themselves in the UK.

It's a strange place here. I miss the sunshine.

Sorry this is a really disjointed post but kind of how I am feeling at the moment.

Sunday, 26 October 2008

Overheard in the office

Colleague 1: I think Daniel Craig is sexy

Colleague 2: I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating biscuits

Colleague 1: Hell, I'd invite him into bed to eat biscuits!


We do so much work.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Bonding time with colleagues

From: Researcher*
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: M, Miss

Important question, you must drop everything to answer this:
Dan, Nate, or Chuck Bass – who’d get it??? **

From: M, Miss
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: Researcher
Subject: RE:

Who’d get what?
My lovin?

From: Researcher
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: M, Miss
Subject: RE:

Yes. Who would get your moistness.
I vote Nate. Yum yum.

From: M, Miss
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: Researcher
Subject: RE:

Nat is yummy.But Dan is so nice and wholesome
Though Chuck Bass is just so naughty and delectable and bad. I like them.
GRRRRR who to choose!!!!!

From: Researcher
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: M, Miss
Subject: RE:

I hate chuck bass – he’s so not attractive! I don’t get that whole bad-boy thing. Also did you know he’s a proper Englishman in real life?? Still just as smug though!

From: M, Miss
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: Researcher
Subject: RE:

Yes I did know that.
Ja, I LOVES the bad boys!
However I am completely and utterly in love with Nicolas Hoult – and not when he was in About a Boy, but now in Skins

From: Researcher
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: M, Miss
Subject: RE:

That’s just WRONG. So wrong. He’s a bit of a pastey geek as well!

From: M, Miss
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: Researcher
Subject: RE:

He’s pretty.
Though my ultimate is Daniel Craig.

From: Researcher
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: M, Miss
Subject: RE:

Who *apparently* lives in my area but I can’t confirm this! He’s a bit of a midget though… and a pinhead.
Give me McDreamy or McSteamy any day. A man with a beard is an instant plus. Matthew Rhys or Dermot O’Leary would also be high on the list!

From: M, Miss
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: Researcher
Subject: RE:

Mcsteamy over Mcdreamy any day!
I like stubble, not a full blown beard. Last boy I snogged had a full blown beard actually. Was weird.
I’m not into facial hair like Work Experience.
He braids his.
Seems wrong.

From: Researcher
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: M, Miss
Subject: RE:

Haha I know I don’t like a full Taliban beard but something like mine or McSteamy’s is fine. Work Experience is a bit overkill. Probably something living in there. So very wrong.
(Sigh we’re like teenage girls now, I hope you realise that.)

From: M, Miss
Sent: 21 October 2008
To: Researcher
Subject: RE:

I realised that about 5 emails back :P

*The Researcher is actually a male

**Gossip Girl characters

Monday, 20 October 2008


Sometimes I do think that I work in the wrong side of Television.

I occasionally crave the glamour, the excitement and the travel that the Creatives tend to have.

I went for lunch today with some old colleagues and one of them has been offered a job on one of our shows that is filmed in Australia. He gets flown out there for the duration of the show and then is allowed to extend his return flight so that he gets a holiday out there too. It's like a free plane ticket to Australia for a holiday.

He ends up saving loads of money for his holiday too as when you're on location you get Per Diems and don't pay for any food or accommodation.

How nice would that be?

Another colleague has been in Houston, Texas for a couple of weeks, another has been filming in the Amazon and another is off to Spain soon for a new series.

Production, on the other hand, are stuck in the office - in particular I am seated in a basement at the moment where the air con is either too hot or too cold. We only get a small window in between where the temperature is perfect.

I am having to dress for all seasons down here. The other day we were as hot as Cape Town in the summer.

Oh the glamour.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Cold Front blowing

So I have started on another new show and this one looks like it could be quite a bit of fun. It is a really large team which I'm not used too but they are all very friendly and welcoming.

For once we actually seem to have an equal split between boys and girls however the top people are all woman. It's hysterical. I love it. The bosses are ALL female. I'm expecting some wonderful temper tantrums but at the moment everyone is all lovely dovey.

I have noticed something very strange though.

Amongst the Researchers and AP's all of the boys are in relationships.

Not only that but they are mostly early 20's but are all dating girls who are 6-10 years older than them.

A 23 year old is dating a 30 year old, a 25 year old has a child with and is dating a 34 year old and the 20 year old is dating a 26 year old. Are we really lacking in men so much at the moment that we're turning to the younger generation? Or are these boys really mature?

Even more stranger is that all of the girls are single and complaining about the lack of guys.

Is there some sort of cold front with the male population at the moment?

Should I be dating a 20 year old to actually get some?

It just seems so wrong.

Monday, 13 October 2008

Big Brother is watching

Hi Miss M, can you stop by my office this afternoon for a chat?

The email that can make my heart stop for a minute and then start rapidly beating for the rest of the day.

It's funny how when you're a freelancer you are constantly stressing about the state of your job. Even though you have a contract until March next year written into is the magic sentence which says that there is a 2 week notice period that can be given on either side. It doesn't lend to feeling overly confident in your job 24/7 and I think it is mostly what keeps Freelancers on their toes and forces us to perform well in our job. Not necessarily because we love it, but because you are only as good as your last job and if you want that contract renewed you can not afford to fuck it up in any way what so ever.

So essentially all of us are just a bunch of stressed out, constantly nervous workaholics who feel like their every move is being watched.

Well sometimes it apparently is.

Line Manager: Now Miss M, please don't take this as a telling off - it is more a friendly warning

Miss M: Nervous laugh Okay?

LM: Last Monday you were overheard saying to someone that you were very hungover

Miss M: That's right, I didn't realise there was anything wrong with that?

LM: Well the Executive Producer overheard and has been making noises about whether or not you'll be able to handle the current job you're on and whether you are out partying too much

Miss M: Excuse me? Because I was hungover at work ONCE?

LM: And an hour late

Miss M: Well it is the second time I've been late in the past year and a half, that isn't a bad run is it?

LM: Just try not to talk like that around Execs, they tend to get a bit paranoid. Remember - next time you have a hangover it is a migraine. A migraine Miss M!

Well I didn't realise that my out of school activities were any concern for anyone else. I came to work, I did my work and then I went home.

What cheek.

Thursday, 9 October 2008

It's my holiday and I'll cry if I want too

I got very annoyed at work today, I was seething with anger and just wanted to go and scream at someone and then burst into tears.

My Line Manager recently decided that she wanted me to take this week off work between my 2 shows but I refused. I didn't have any holiday planned and I wanted to save it for Cape Town at the end of the year which I thought was justified since I'm going for 3 weeks.

They were pissed at me but eventually dropped it.

Until today.

I have requested 2 days off at the end of October to have a long weekend away climbing and they are withholding it from me. Apparently this is punishment for refusing to take this week off.

It is the only explanation I can think of since we aren't filming over that period and me not being in the office wouldn't affect anything so this refusal must just be them being petty.

Selfish wankers.

I am fighting this.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Missing, please call if found

I'm so tired.

I can't seem to catch up on my sleep from last week but I must admit that the day on the couch is helping with that. 

Oh the joys of sick days.

I feel like I've lost my spark, I have no energy for anything or anyone.

What does one do to get it back?

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Lights, Camera, Action!

So Tuesday was the climax to the past 2 months. We filmed our show in the studios and it went amazingly well.

But it was the most intense day and night of my life.

I got in to work at 0800 and headed down to our make-shift Production Office in the studios and from 0815 until 2300 I swear we did not stop. Production is the first port of call for ANYONE so we were basically bombarded with queries, request, complaints and demands for 15 hours.

Not to mention the constant ringing of phones.

Reception isn't the brightest tool in the shed.

Ringing of phone

Miss M: Hello Production office

Reception: Hi, I have so and so downstairs

Miss M: Is there name on the list that I gave to you earlier?

Reception: Let me check. No.

Miss M: Then they need to go to door blah blah

5 minutes later

Miss M: Hello Production office

Reception: Hi, I have so and so downstairs

Miss M: Is there name on the list that I gave to you earlier?

Reception: Let me check. No.

Miss M: Then they need to go to door blah blah

5 minutes later

Miss M: Hello Production office

Reception: Hi, I have so and so downstairs

Miss M: Is there name on the list that I gave to you earlier?

Reception: Let me check. No.

Miss M: Then they need to go to door blah blah

I swear after the 5th time I wanted to murder them. And it went on for about 4 hours.

However throughout the day and night I

1) Peed in a stall next to Emma B and Geri from the Spice Girls

2) Directed Richard Branson to the exit

3) Got smiled at by Kevin Spacey

4) Got winked at by Russell Brand

5) Saw McFly, Dame Shirley Bassey, The Prime Minister, Michael Caine, the Olympic Gold Medal winners of the UK, Jason Donovan, Ronan Keating, Gordon Ramsey, Rachel Stevens and too many other minor English celebs to remember

It really was a night I will never forget.

More stories coming!

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

The Price to Pay

Overheard in the bathrooms at my Studio show last night

2 minor Celebs standing by the mirrors touching up their makeup

Girl 1: Oh wow, you look so gorgeous and thin! You are so thin!

Girl 2: Thanks, but I am sooooo hungry!

So go eat something. Please dear god. Eat.

I'm just recovering from last night. Will let you know all the details later!

Keep posted.

Monday, 29 September 2008

Pain in the arse colleagues

I really hate this when I am finished my work.


Miss M: Hey dude, is there anything I can do to help you with before going home?

Colleague: Not at the second, but do you mind hanging around cause I might need help soon


You want me to stick around at work and wait for you to finish what ever the fuck you are doing to see, if maybe, you need some help?

What a load of fucking bullshit.

I hate my colleague sometimes.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Conversations in the Lift

Just another lovely conversation overheard by Miss M on the way to her floor

Lovely Old English Gentleman:
Sweet quavering voice I can not remember which one it was, they both look the same to me

Lady: Did she have big tits?

LOEG: Peers at her Excuse me?

Lady: Big tits, did she have them?

LOEG: I am not quite understand you, big what?

Lady: Busoms, boobs, knockers, breasts or tits

LOEG: Splutters Oh is that what you are calling them these days

Lady: Welcome to (company name) we say it like it is

I felt so sorry for him as he got off with her at the floor.

He looked very uncomfortable.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

What not to do at work

I almost lost my job today.

Not the best way to start a Wednesday.

Last week I got contacted by another company whom I had worked for years ago asking what my availability was and if I'd like to come in for a chat.

Well I'm not a girl to turn down a cup of tea and a chat so I made arrangements to go and meet with him not really thinking anything of it.

He basically offered me a similar role to what I am doing now but with a slightly higher credit on the show so I can essentially move up faster. The money wasn't much better and as soon as I was done meeting him I had made the decision to reject the offer as I do not really want to leave my current company unless something AMAZING was offered to me.

End of story and I'd removed it from my mind.

Until this morning when I got a message from the Unit Manager asking if she can have a quick chat with me.

I almost shat my pants as I couldn't think of a reason why she'd want to see me.

Basically it turns out that the company I had gone to see contacted my Head of Production BEFORE I even met with him to find out references for me so my company started thinking that I was job hunting and were waiting to hear my resignation.

They even went as far as to line up other people for the next show that I am supposed to be going to work on and wanted to make sure that was fine and find out when I would be leaving.


And never again will I go behind my companies back about another job.

Though in all fairness he should not have contact them without my permission. It is only because he knows my Head of Production.

Man that scared me so bad.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

The. Best. Day. Ever.

I'm continuing with the pattern of everything going wrong today because it has just been another one of those days.

From when I walked in and for the following 2 hours I just kept sorting out other peoples problems which had become my own. It really frustrates me because other peoples incompetence makes me look as if I am not doing my job and there is nothing I dislike more than someone thinking I am bad at my job.

The glory of my day

1) Directors have not been telling me that they need rushes digitised in (for "none TV people" this is getting the footage put into the editing programme so they can play with it) and therefore I haven't been doing it.

It doesn't matter that they didn't tell me, apparently I should have mind reading abilities

2) The Machine room did not digitise in some rushes over the weekend and stalled an edit that was starting today. They claim to have received a bogus phone call over the weekend saying not to digitise in.

What moron would play a trick like that? They're just trying to cover their backs re their mistake so I end up taking the flack.

I wish people would admit their mistakes.

3) The Series Producer did not inform me that he needed a TV and DVD player in his meeting with a very famous British TV presenter. So there wasn't one.

Apparently that was my fault too.

I really should practice these mind reading abilities.

4) I got a right bollocking from a Producer on GMTV (morning programme here in England) as apparently I was rude to him over the phone.

Well I'm sorry - they have been playing silly buggers since last week with the rushes and I REALLY needed them today so I let him know.

Not my fault if he is really delicate.

Deal with it.

5) I thought that the lid was on my water bottle and gesticulated wildly with it.

The contents ended up over me.

It was icy cold.

On the plus side I rode the lift with the British band The Kooks. That is pretty cool right?

Thankfully this was prior to the water bottle incident so I was not sopping wet.


When is Tuesday going to end?

Friday, 19 September 2008

Travel companies suck ass.

The past two days have been nightmare days when everything goes wrong.

Yet it has still been really funny. Well from my point of view, not from the others.

First oopsy

I was away from my desk yesterday for about 30 minutes sorting something out, I came back and discovered the paperwork for a hire car which was only supposed to be delivered today at 1800 sitting on my desk along with a set of car keys.

Researcher: Hey Miss M how come I've received a hire car?

Miss M: I don't know hey, did you accept it?

Researcher: Picture of innocence Well I couldn't say no could I?

So the hire car company was closed and we randomly have a hire car for an extra day. Oh well. One thing is for sure, we are NOT paying for it.

Second oopsy

2 of my Directors were taking a 0620 train to Manchesterthis morning and go to get their fast ticket machine tickets at Euston station and then get on the train. They discover, to their pleasure, that they are booked into first class. That NEVER happens.

However the euphoria is short lived when the ticket inspector comes around and points out that instead of 2 x London to Manchester and 2 x Manchester to London tickets they have 4 x Manchester to London tickets in first class.

They get fined £180 each for fare dodging.

Though they did still get to eat and drink all the free food and booze on the journey.

Good fun. I love our travel company.

Third Oopsy

Train tickets arrive from our travel company today for a journey which is on Saturday 20th from Huddersfield to London.

I look at the tickets and realise that they are for Birmingham to London on Monday 22nd of September.

What fun.

Now what else is going to happen?

Please dear god I want to finish work at a normal time today.

What are the chances?

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

A Daily Mantra

I've developed a mantra that I have to repeat about 30 times a day just to keep sane at the moment.

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

It isn't that it is that bad. It is just trying to handle 12 over the top personalities all working together in close proximity is proving to be harder than I imagined. TV people are prone to being Drama Queens and this lot really are taking it to the limit.

The urge to murder them slowly one by one is getting stronger by the day.

One of my colleagues and I ended up going for a drink after work last night. I think that both of us just needed that release and just to let it all out. We desperately needed to get out all of our grievance's and frustration and realise that we are not the only one feeling this exact same thing.

For me it was just wonderful to know that the other side - Editorial - was feeling the same and that even they battle with the same insecurities and the thorough lack of motivation at the moment.

We bitched about our colleagues as well as work which is always fun.

One thing that makes me laugh is how we slate our colleagues completely but start each sentences just so:

Miss M: Now I completely love so and so BUT ...

Colleague: Yes I know! I totally love so and so BUT ...

I'm hoping our discussion remains between the two of us. I'm pretty sure it will though as she COMPLETELY ripped our Series Producer a new one last night.

But she still does love him.

Monday, 15 September 2008

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

People don't realise exactly how much effort us Production team members actually put into setting up a shoot.

It isn't like you can go "we're filming on Tuesday" and we set it up instantaneously. There is a long, slow, horrid process and something simple can literally take us hours to achieve.

Or days in some circumstances.

Take for example a shoot that my Manager has just set up in a Middle Eastern country. She had to liaise with the MOD and basically has spent about a solid week and a half trying to set up a situation where a Director, Cameraman and 2 presenters can fly out, do some filming and then fly back.

People don't realise how hard this is - there are so many hoops to jump through - so they kept changing things slightly, changing details, changing times, changing people etc until the point where I thought Wallie might explode. The moment they said they might not go through with it after she had finally managed to set the whole thing up I thought she might go postal and kill everyone.

So finally everything was solved. Everything was set up. Everything was happening.

Then this morning 1 small thing, 1 tiny, pathetic insignificant action almost destroyed a week and a halves worth of work and thousands of pounds worth of cost.

The taxi driver taking the Director and the Cameraman to the MOD airfield ran a right light. He then got pulled over by the police and proceeded to argue with them over this infraction.

They almost missed the flight. The careful planning and organising was almost completely eradicated by the actions of a total wanker.

Poor Wallie spent about 2 hours on the phone with a panicking Director, a taxi service and trying to beg the MOD to postphone the flight they were supposed to be in.

As you can imagine Wallie was not in the best of moods today.

I just sometimes wish that people would acknowledge and appreciate the amount of work that we put into this and realise how much effort, time and energy it saps from us.

Problem is when it goes smoothly and perfectly no one notices because that is how it is meant to be.

But when something goes wrong EVERYONE notices.

Friday, 12 September 2008


Apparently I have quite a dirty mind.

Colleague 1 heading down the corridor

Colleague 2: Calling out to Colleague 1 Ooo are you heading to the water fountain?

Colleague 1: No I'm going to the toilet

Miss M: Giggling Same difference isn't it?

Didn't go down too well.

Apparently stressful Friday's don't give people a sense of humour.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

What gets my Goat

A machine that prints, scans and photocopies all in one. This is - in theory - fantastic.

This machine prints on both sides of the paper. Again, absolutely bloody fantastic.


It photocopies only one side of the paper.

Even worse.

It photocopies one side of each piece of paper AND puts each side onto 1 piece of paper. So I have page 1 and 3 on one page and no page 2.

How FUCKING stupid is THAT?????

I also appear to be surrounded by people who are incapable of doing things for themselves.

Do I look like your mother? If you didn't put a label on something at our old office it did not get moved over here. I explained it and I thought that you had listened to me.

It is not my problem anymore. Go back to the old office and get it yourself.

Also, whilst we're at it, I have much better things to do with my time than find you a charger for your mobile when you're the one who has lost it.

I repeat. I. Am. Not. Your. Mother.

Please do not wander up to my desk with a lost expression and tell me your woes. As you can tell I am NOT in the mood for it.

On the plus side I had my Career Development Review this afternoon. I got some glowing feedback but it isn't it amazing how I can focus on the 1 small thing that someone expressed negatively? One small, tiny, insignificant thing that I am now just going to obsess over for the next few weeks.

Unfortunately it is from the Manager I'm working with at the moment and I'm pretty sure she knows why I'm shooting her the evils this afternoon.

Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day hey?

Monday, 8 September 2008

Push the Button

We moved offices today.

All of our floors are slowly but surely having a refurbishment. My team is now sitting on one of the redone floors. It feels like we are in a call centre or something similar. Just rows upon rows of desks as far as the eye can see, white walls and cupboard leverywhere.

All very strange.

They have also built us a kitchen area which is going down a storm.

The most entertaining bit is the fact that there is one tap which gives you cold drinking water and boiling water for teas or coffees instantaneously.

This has proved hysterical as it took a good 20 minutes before we figured out how to get the boiling water out.

Some of the greatest minds in Television - well Execs and the like - standing around this tap desperately trying to make it work.

Eventually they figured out that you had to hold down the safety button before the water came out.

Most funny part? The instructions were on a sign right above the tap - no one had bothered to read them.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Petty Games

So as you can establish I have been quite busy at work.

I've been getting in for around 0900ish and departing mostly between 1900 and 2000. When you combine this with no lunch break and constantly being on the go it lends to an incredibly exhausted Miss M who really does not feel like dealing with the general populous.

My boss has been in the office until 2230 most nights for the past week and I must admit that I have been feeling a bit guilty leaving earlier than her but you know what - I'm not paid as much as she is.

Last night, however, I really needed to get out on time to go meet Miss P who is in town for a bit. Our mutual friend was cooking a meal for us at home and Jailbait was coming to meet Miss P for the first time. 

I told my boss I needed to leave on the dot and she agreed.

At 1820 Jailbait got to my office and I went over to her to say goodbye

Miss M: Right Wallie, before I head out is there anything urgent that you need?

Wallie: Well there is this one thing, can you adjust all the changes in our studio schedule from the meeting and make sure that our final schedule is correct?

Miss M: Exceptionally annoyed Is this urgent for this evening?

Wallie: Not really, but I'd like it done so I know it is out of the way

Miss M: Breathes out Right now?

Wallie: Yes please Miss M

Now I swear she was only getting me to do it because she was pissed that I was leaving ON TIME. I wasn't even leaving early, actually screw that I was already leaving 20 minutes late - not even on time.

How petty is that? 

Getting me to do something that she doesn't need urgently - in fact she doesn't really need it for another week - purely just to have me stay in the office later to ruin my evening because hers obviously is ruined already.


I was an hour and 20 minutes late for dinner.

Monday, 1 September 2008

The pee-pee dance

Do you know what I hate the most about being insanely busy at work?

I never seem to get the chance to pee.

I desperately need to go to the toilet but something always keeps getting in the way.

And then I forget.

Then suddenly I've been desperate to go for about an hour and I think I'm going to wet my seat.

So I go in the direction of the toilet and someone hijacks me en-route.

Another 20 minutes.

This is getting stupid.


Thursday, 28 August 2008

Job Opening


1 x Production Co-ordinator

Must be calm under pressure, able to multi-task and prioritise, be super friendly and pro-active. If you are not super organised please do not bother to apply.

Candidate must be able to magic up flights, trains and taxis to and from locations to pacify grumpy editorial teams regardless of whether these facilities are actually running. Previous Co-ordinator convinced airline to specially run a flight just to get a tired Director back to his home.

They must never frown and always be smiley, happy and never let anything be a problem.

Candidate should not go postal and kill entire Editorial team because they are incapable of cementing anything until 5 minutes before 6pm therefore forcing the co-ordinator to stay at work for a further 3 hours whilst desperately trying to contact companies that are long shut.

It is imperative that the Co-ordinator does not have a social life and nor should they want to have one in the near future whilst the show is in Production.

Please note that the words "no" or "I can not do this" are not allowed to be uttered and voicing of either will incur the candidate being fire immediately.

Please apply via email and set your CV through.

If you blag it, make sure you can do it.

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Mirror, Mirror on the wall ...

Living in London can be hard. I really only remember just how hard when I've spent some time away.

This past weekend I went to Northumberland with Jailbait to do some climbing and to visit my Uncle and cousins.

It was amazing.

The open space, the clean air, the villages and just the general peacefulness and isolation. I did not want to return last night.

Living in London you are just another nameless face on a crowded street. People push right passed you and don't even notice you or care about your story.

Out there people were greeting me in the street, waving at us as we drove passed and just made me feel more at home than an entire 3 and a half years of living in London has done.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in London but I can not see myself settling here for all of eternity. At the moment the work is good, the travel prospects are amazing and the opportunities that London hands to me are unmissable.

Living back in Cape Town there is no way I'd be working on an award winning television show, no way I'd be able to book a trip to Belgium last minute or a climbing holiday to Sardinia and no way I'd learn so much more about different cultures.

But London is not a home.

It is a means to an end.

Though one does have to start asking - How long am I going to continue this means? What is the maximum time that I can see myself living in this city before I start to lose my soul?

I sometimes dream about moving out to the countryside. I can see myself living in a stone farmhouse, couple of children, baking, pottering outside in my wellies and waving hello to the neighbours as they wander into the village.

I wake up and I can't decide if it is a nightmare or a fantasy.

One thing is for sure though - I am going to have to start considering seriously what my time frame for London living is.

Perhaps I could move out to Canada for a bit, experience life there. Or I could pack up and go live in the French countryside for a year, brush up on my French and experience life in that degree.

Or I could become some high powered Television Executive for a major Network and spend my life in the office and then traveling home via a chauffeured car to my Holland Park townhouse where my child will have been put to bed by the nanny not even realising that their Mother was not home to read them a bedtime story.

I wonder what version I'll become.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Suicide Workers

Phone conversation

Colleague: I'm looking for a grenade.

Colleague: Yes, the type that would be used over in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Colleague: Great. Would it be possible for me to buy one?

Well I'm worried.

Who else thinks that she might be attempting to blow up the office due to the high stress environment that we work in?

I might sometimes hate my job - but not THAT much!

I am though sorry to disappoint but she is in fact sourcing props for reconstruction shoot we are doing next week - but I did find it a classic conversation to eavesdrop on!

Update on the email mad colleague:

We have spoken very little vocally today and I unfortunately have now gotten into this whole emailing thing.

Yes people over 2 days I have gotten into the swing of it and am now emailing EVERYONE about EVERYTHING. Colleague and I are even sharing personal giggles over email instead of turning around and talking too each other.

Granted the one time we did actually talk to each other today about something - in whispered tones - the Series Producer came over to find out what was wrong.

So maybe email is the way to go?

Emailed received a minute ago

It’s nuts – I literally haven’t stopped typing all day! Like a reconstruction call centre ha ha! x

At least she knows her downfalls?

Monday, 18 August 2008

You Have Mail

I have an aversion to emails.

It isn't like I don't appreciate the wonders of modern technology, the speed by which it can reach people across the world and how it allows me to keep in contact with my mother without actually having to phone her everyday as that could get expensive!

But I detest the ability it gives people to constantly email me things without talking to me.

I am working with a girl who sits directly behind me, I can hear everything she does and can listen to her personal phone calls. (They are ever so interesting) Yet she insists on emailing me instead of talking to me.

It annoys me.

Every 10 minutes or so this email pops into my inbox requesting me to do something. In fact one even came in as I'm typing right now. She says it is so she has a record of everything but it is so annoying to me.

Email is removing the need for us to actually have face to face conversations.

It's weird.

Granted I do love email when I can ping messages across the room to my colleagues gossiping about the person sitting beside us. And I love emails for when we put 10 of us in an email trying to figure out where we are going to for lunch. But I hate emails for when I get into the office and there are 40 sitting in my inbox that I have to sift through.

Even more I hate people who CC me in on emails that I don't need to be in on! I feel as if I actually have to read the entire thing. It is such a waste of my day.

I could be blogging instead.

Ps - It didn't go too badly with The German but I am definitely glad that he is gone. He ended up sitting next to me at Sunday lunch yesterday and made references to our shared history in private to me which made me feel rather uncomfortable. Brings emotions back that I don't need or want.

I'm so glad it is over.

Friday, 15 August 2008

Frustration at the Highest Level

I have a place reserved in my heart for people who are Jobsworth.

Those special people who only do what is required for them to say that they have done the job. They do you no favours and end up quoting all the "rules and regulations" to you.

I'm talking about people like Traffic Wardens who stand by your car waiting for the metre to expire and fine you immediately.

Or the wonderful Archive Tape Library who do *just* what you ask and nothing more.

A couple of days ago I emailed them with numerous Production Numbers and asked for the SAFETY (the copy of the Master show which can be released to us Plebs if needs be for anything) copies of those shows to be pulled out of archive for me use.

They mailed me back and gave me the details for all the shows and each of the 4 parts. I didn't question this as from previous shows there have been 4 parts.

This morning the Edit Producer gets back to us because he is missing a segment on the show as it isn't on the footage we had digitised in. My colleague and I stared at each other and thought

There couldn't possibly be any more to it could there?

So we emailed the Tape Library and they promptly got back to us saying

Yes there is another tape which is part 5 and 6.


Why didn't we get this in the first place?

Apparently I only requested the Safety's and this tape is a Master as there are no Safety copies so they didn't think it was important to inform me since I ONLY asked for the Safeties.

Never mind that I asked for the whole programme.

Stupid bastards can cover their backs that way.

Miss M is NOT impressed.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

A change of topic is needed

Isn't it funny that no matter how much you grow or change as a person one event or evening spent in the company of someone can make you feel as if nothing has ever changed?

My life really has changed dramatically in the past 3 and a half years. For starters I moved to London and managed to find my first job in TV - something quite a few people thought I'd never manage. I've learnt a lot about myself and have grown up considerably.

I can't really explain how I've changed but if you knew me in university and you knew me now you would definitely notice the extensive change.

One thing can always throw me back and off route though.

The German*.

The boy I dedicated almost 3 years of my life too. The boy who broke my heart numerous times. The boy who wouldn't commit to me for all those years in case someone better came along.

I was an emotional wreck for most of those years. So insecure and constantly battling in some way to keep his attention. His friends thought I was completely mad and most likely thought I was a pathetic idiot for actually being there.

The German would keep me around by every so often being this lovely, sweet, kind and caring boy who seemed to genuinely have emotions for me. But then the next week he'd be chasing some girl at work - when she rejected him he'd be back to me.

I don't know why I actually hung around. Perhaps because he beat my confidence to the ground - I was too fat, needed to lose weight, I was childish, I was loud, I didn't know what I was talking about - I didn't think I could get anyone else.**

Perhaps I was in love. The Queen of Melodrama (his best friend) thinks I was in love with him. I hope not. Doesn't say much for my choice in men.

I'd love to say that moving to London was my escape but somehow I ended up back there at the end of 2005 - the last time he broke my heart really was the worst for me. So now I have been 2 and a half years German free.

This week sees a visit of A Swan to London. I haven't seen him in a couple of years so it is wonderful but unfortunately his arrival heralds the German flying over to London to "party it up like old times".

I have to see him. I can't really avoid it. To prepare we've been having vague conversations on Google Talk which haven't been too bad. But I'm terrified to see him.

Not because I hate him. Not because I still care about him. But because I hate who I was when I was with him.

I don't ever want to see that girl again.

I'm going to be strong this weekend and I am going to banish her forever.

I suppose this is the final test.

*Yes this is the reason I can't stand Germans

**I would like to say for the record that The German can actually be a good guy. In fact he is a good guy by all accounts from his extensive group of friends. He was just an asshole to me.

Monday, 11 August 2008

Are you sick? Fantastic!


I really seem to be suffering from a lack of inspiration and real writers block. I keep starting an entry and then deleting it because I think it is utter crap.

Work is not inspiring. I started on our new show but there is very little to do. In fact if this keeps on I might have to start thinking about a different career path.

Though Jailbait keeps pointing out how I should be thinking that work is only a means to get money to go on climbing trips - so having a quiet job, leaving on time and not working weekends is actually a great boon.

One amusing factor about this new show is the type of conversations I keep hearing from the Editorial team's side of the office.

Once again I point out that these are only things you would probably hear in a TV office, or a gathering for some severely sick and twisted individuals (slightly paraphrased however the gist is still the same).

Disclaimer: TV people are not twisted - we just think differently to your average person.

Colleague 1: So I found this girl, she is 6 and has leukemia

Colleague 2: Is it advanced?

Colleague 1: I'm not sure

Colleague 2: We only want really sick children, the sicker the better.

Colleague 1: Ok, I'll find out and if not keep looking.

I promise it isn't as bad as it sounds - I'll explain in a couple of months.

In any other environment I'd be losing my faith in humanity. But this is just TV.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Enjoy the giggle

Due to a lack of inspiration and a thoroughly boring work and personal life I thought I'd post up some funny comments from viewers. I am posting as they are written; grammar, spelling and style of typing.

"Viewer called to say 'I think your competition prize is getting lower and lower. No way should the prize be any less than £3000.00. I want something done about it.'"

- Someone obviously has a bill that needs to be paid of £3000.00. We should all have that mentality. I refuse for the lottery to be less than £10 million pounds - you're just being cheap otherwise.

"I am so annoyed at the constant Big Ben chime at the start and end of the (name of news) news coverage, it is so un-necessary. Your channel must have lost many, many viewers."

- From a chime? I thought we watched shows for entertainment or mental stimulation. The news is for the news, who cares about a single chime at the beginning and the end?!


- Perhaps the two of you had a little bit of a falling out?

"Viewer's letter "A man was seen smoking a cigarette tonight. This is not the first time either. A member of the cast was also fingering a fag inside the police station. I am contacting my MP about this lousy practice. Stop it!"

- Thankfully they mentioned cigarette first or I'd be rather worried about this particular statement.

"Viewer called to say, `my daughter is in tears, my wife has run into the garden screaming and I would rather be sitting there answering your calls than watching this rubbish'."

- It's call a remote.

Well I hope you enjoyed these and hopefully I'll have some inspiration soon!

Friday, 1 August 2008


I have a dilemma.

Clearing out the area around my desk today before moving on I have stumbled across a file. This file holds all of the location and contributor release forms from the very first show I worked on here. I don't remember having it, and sure as donkeys don't remember bringing it with me through the 5 other desks that I have sat it in the past year and a half!

It is clearly mine though.

The handwriting is mine and I definitely took care of all of this on the show.

It's all very confusing.

Reason being these little pieces of paper are very important. They stop people from being able to sue the company for not having permission to film them or use the footage. We have to hand in all of these to the Channel when the show is Delivered and they go through all the paperwork.

Now the show was on last year September and has been replayed quite a bit. Now I seem to have the paperwork. How on earth is that?

Why have they suddenly sprung up again and should I hand them in?

I mean what are the chances that someone else sat at this exact desk and did the Post Production Paperwork and left it here? If I hand it in they are going to think I wasn't very good. But I honestly haven't been dragging this file with me everywhere and haven't seen it since August last year when I left the show!

This is so confusing.

Perhaps I'll throw it away.

Thursday, 31 July 2008

The end is nigh

I finish on my show tomorrow. Then at last I get to move onto a project that is really going to challenge me and make my mind tick. I can't wait.

However I am going to miss my current team. I have grown very attached to them over the past few months and even though I know they will only be across the room we won't all be sitting together, laughing together and generally playing the fool together.

I will keep some fond memories of them though.

Series Producer
I will miss all of her emails. And I seriously mean ALL of them. I get into work in the morning and there are already about 20 emails from this woman. She CC's you in on EVERYTHING and you have to read it in case she is actually asking you to do anything. I got caught out on that a couple of times. Recently I've taken to using the "find on this page" button and search for my name - that usually helps and stops me having to actually read everything. But I'll still miss her.

Fellow Co-ordinator
I'm going to miss how we spoke every single day on the phone about 15 times a day. She was based up north and I was in the office. We literally were on the phone to each other every 30 minutes or so. If we didn't talk it was judged to be the end of the world. However she does have this annoying habit of saying "MAZERS" in this high pitched voice which I am not going to miss.

Production Manager
I'm just going to miss him. He says the funniest things and is so laid back and chilled. He told us once how when he was a kid he'd dress up in girls clothing and make people call him Sarah. Yes, he turned out gay. What were the chances?

Researchers 1 & 2
To be honest with you I'm not going to miss them that much. But there are some things I'll miss I guess. Researcher's 2 annoying voice I won't but I'll miss how she lent me that £5 and now seems to have forgotten about it. Oh wait, I won't miss that cause then she'll remember! Researcher 1 I guess I'll miss because every so often she lets down her hard facade and is genuinely quite nice. When she smiles I like her.

I'm not going to miss the Story Producer. He's weird and I don't like him. And German.

And we all know how I LOVE the Germans (Lopz and Fligela you can stop laughing now)

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Hitting my head against a brick wall

Sometimes it is the small things that create the most palaver and stress in our lives.

Recently we changed over to a brand spanking new online purchase order and expenses system. (Yes I know it is really boring but a massive part of our job to keep track of spending) It was supposed to make our lives easily but it is making them a lot harder.

For example the PO's are supposed to be send out electronically to companies and freelance staff so that they can invoice us with the correct PO number attached. This then triggers our accounts department to match the two and pay them.

They're not being sent out.

Ergo no one is getting paid.

And we're not receiving products we've ordered because they're not getting paid or even invoiced.

Now even that I can get around. I am just either screening my phone calls or begging forgiveness from Editors and Cameramen in the hopes they don't come and kill me.

However this I can not handle.

I needed to book a bike yesterday. Urgently. This is a very simple procedure where I phone our transport office, give them the details, they book it and give me a reference number and I charge it to our account for the show.

Miss M: Hi can I please book a bike

Transport: Do you have a PO number?

Miss M: PO number? What the fuck?

Transport: You can not book a bike without a PO number as we need one for every bike now.

Miss M: But this is urgent! It's going to take ages for it to get approved through my accountant and we need to get these clips to the Commissioner in about 20 minutes!

Transport: I'm sorry Miss M I can't do anything without the PO number

It's ok Miss M. Just breath.

So I went to raise a PO.

After about 15 minutes of battling my way through this unusable system this happens.

What's this, my programme number doesn't exist?

Miss M: Hi Accountant, I'm trying to raise a PO but my programme number doesn't exist anymore!

Accountant: Huh? What do you mean? It's there, I was just working on it earlier.

Miss M: Well it isn't now. And I need this PO for a bike urgently!

Accountant: For a bike? Why?

Miss M: New rules apparently!

Meanwhile time is ticking on and my Series Producer is freaking out cause we aren't getting the DVD to the Commissioner.

After going around in circles I eventually gave up and made one up.

I should have done that in the first place as transport accepted my made up PO number!

I corrected it today but MAN is this new system making my life a complete hell.

Sunday, 27 July 2008

Rejection sucks

Before anyone asks this week.

He turned me down.

Oh well, at least I put myself out there and actually asked someone out!

So we'll speak no more of the cute climbing boy - well until we find another one of course!

Thursday, 24 July 2008

Drinks next week?

Miss M: So I kind of have a crush on another guy at climbing


Miss M: We might be going for a drink next week

Boss 1: So what does he do?

Miss M: He kind of works in TV

All Colleagues: Pull horrid faces No Miss M!

It's funny how we all don't want to date someone in the industry

Now this was when the grilling started

Boss 1: How old is he?

Miss M: 28

Boss 2: Where does he live?

Miss M: Says an area of London

Boss 1: What does he look like?

Miss M: Tall, Blondy brown hair and well built as he is a climber

Boss 2: Where in England is he from?

Miss M: Panic in her voice I can't remember!!

Boss 2: Well you're going to have too

Boss 1: What is the company he works for?

Miss M: Guys you're scaring me now ...

Colleague: Is he on Facebook?

Miss M: Nervous Why?

Colleague: So we can stalk him silly

Oh. My. God.

Who needs parents when I work with these people?

P.s - I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink next week. He seemed keen and spent Tuesday in a text/sms conversation with me from 6pm till 11pm.

That sounds promising doesn't it?

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Hope you're happy now

Just for Spazoid to make him feel better and as if I actually listen to his pleas.

I feel degraded somehow. But it is of my own doing.

Least you're never recognise my face!

Monday, 21 July 2008

I swore I had more money

I wish that I got paid enough money so that I could lose track of how much small items cost.

Miss M: I'm just running over to the shop to grab some crisps, (chips for you non English readers) does anyone want some chips or chocolate?

This is a common desire in our office - in fact in all TV offices I've worked in - we all constantly crave sweets. I think it is because we have this strange idea that they'll help give us back our sanity. Not working quite yet.

Series Producer: Ah yes, could you grab me a diet coke?

Miss M: Sure thing, I don't have any spare change though so will need to get it from you

Series Producer: No problem. Hands me £2 I think that is enough, I can't remember but let me know if it is anymore



Does she earn so much money that £2 seems a small amount for a can of coke?

For those of you who don't live here a can of coke can cost you anywhere between £0.40 and £0.80 depending on which shop you get it from. For the record at this one it costs £0.65. Quite a bit less than £2.

I know I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I am super broke at the moment so this has upset me slightly.

I want her bank balance.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Only out for the day

I really pushed the dress code - or lack there of - yesterday at work. I don't know if it was because I was bored or something but I decided to see what I could wear (or how little I could wear) without having someone tell me that it was inappropriate for work.

I brought my boobs out for the day. And let me tell you they were quite literally nearly out.

No one said a thing.

I kept expecting the truly scary Production Executive grab me and haul me into her office whilst screaming at me how bringing my breasts out for an office visit is not allowed in our work place.

But she didn't.

I did however learn the difference between how straight men and gay men react to boobs.

Straight Man and his encounter with boobs

Oh my gosh there are boobs there, what do I do? What do I say? Where do I look?

Straight Man: I was .. umm ... looks me in the eye quickly ... where the details for ... umm ... stares back down at my cleavage those bills ... that we ... umm ... looks back in my eyes quickly before returning to my boobs ... umm ... what were we talking about??

Gay Man and his encounter with boobs

Gay Man: Unabashedly stares at my boobs Oh my god honey! Those are amazing! Seriously! Wow!

Miss M: Aw thanks, I thought I'd bring them out for a visit

Gay Man: You should more often!

Gay men entertain me.

Next time I might heighten my skirt length and lower the cleavage even more and see if they notice THAT!

P.s - I do have rather big boobs so am not just blowing my own horn here!

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

And you are ??

I ran into an old work colleague today from when I first started out in TV. I was a runner at the Post Production Company she was working at.

To be completely honest with you I don't recognise her from a bar of soap but she seems to remember me so I'll just continue to pretend I remember her.

She said something that perturbed me slightly though.

Ex Colleague: When was it that you left (Post Production Company) ?

Miss M: Sometime in 2005 I think

Ex Colleague: There was a big scandal around you leaving wasn't there? I can't remember the specifics but there definitely was.

Miss M: Confused expression Scandal? I don't remember there being one? I just left for greener pastures.

Ex Colleague: Equally confused Really? I could swear that people talked about you leaving for ages afterwards. There must have been some sort of scandal!

So apparently like being unable to remember her I am also unable to remember the circumstances that had me leaving that particular company.

I am actually rather worried.

Is she confusing me with someone else or have I actually blocked out the memory of leaving the company.

I remember leaving.

I remember walking out of the door and saying goodbye.

But I can't remember why.

I really actually can't.

Was there some big scandal? Did I get fired? What happened?!

I kind of hope I did. That would be sort of cool.

Perhaps I tried to rob them? Or maybe I was busted selling company secrets to a rival Post Production House.

Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, she is getting me confused with someone else. Which would explain why I can't remember her.

Monday, 14 July 2008

She's back in body but not in mind

I'm finding it really hard to concentrate again after not working for 11 days.

It's like my brain would rather think about ANYTHING else other than work. Sometimes it is rather embarrassing.

Bossman: So today Miss M I need you to do something very important

Miss M: Sure thing, what's that?

Bossman: Well I need you too blah blah blah blah important blah blah blah paperwork blah blah people getting paid blah blah blah

Miss M: Dreaming about perfect beaches Uh huh

Bossman: Blah blah blah VERY IMPORTANT

Miss M: Back on my favourite climb Okay

Bossman: Is that fine to do Miss M?

Miss M: He was talking to me? Sorry I missed that last part!

Bossman: That's fine, I need you to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Miss M: Lazing in the sunshine Sure thing

It's getting bad.

I know it's important but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. I'm hoping that either it'll reappear in my holiday fuddled brain or it'll just disappear and not need to be done.

I suppose I could ask him again but seriously people, what are the chances I'll listen on the third try?

Friday, 11 July 2008

140 metres up with a rope

Well I made it back alive.

Just barely. I was so tired that I had to take yesterday off too and spent the day collapsed on the couch staring at the TV in a completely dreamlike state. I think I managed to drank my sorry arse into the shower at about 5pm so that the housemates were not subjected to a dirty and smelly Miss M.

10 days of camping and climbing did not make me appealing on either the eyes or the nose.

The climbing was amazing. I achieved so much personally (and even managed to get a bit of a tan!) that it was definitely worth the money and the adventure.

I did a 140 metre multi pitch climb with Jailbait. Yes folks Miss M actually managed to climb that high along with stopping at different belay points whilst Jailbait climbed the next pitch and set up the belay for me.

However at about 135 metres it all got a bit too much for poor lil ol me and my irrational fear of heights kicked in.

Miss M: I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

Jailbait: It's ok, we're just going to hold you here for about 5 minutes whilst we sort out the anchor and then I'll haul you up ok?

Miss M: Panicked breathing and on the verge of tears Talk to me Jailbait.

Jailbait: About what?

Miss M: Screaming ANYTHING!!!

Moment of silence whilst Jailbait considers what to talk about.

Jailbait: The view is beautiful isn't it?

Ok. So you're partner is having a panic attack about the height. Do you REALLY point out to her about how beautiful the view is from that point?

Wait it gets better.

Miss M: Sobbing Something else!!!! Anything else!!!!!

Jailbait: Hey Miss M, have you noticed that we're so high up that the birds are actually flying below us?

Well I kind of lost it at that moment.

I eventually got hauled up to the top and stood for a couple of minutes clutching the rock sobbing. Eventually I gained up the courage to look over the edge - and yes folks, the view was beautiful.

Then it was time to abseil down. Strangely enough I was ok with that.

The rest of the climbing was quite sedate in comparison but equally challenging each in their own way. I don't think I have ever had so much exercise on holiday ever before.

I'm not impressed with being back at work. I am fighting all attempts by my colleagues to actually get me to do any work. My body might be at this desk but my mind is still back in the sparking blue waters of Sardinia whilst I leisurely snorkel around the colourful fish.


I hate coming home.

Monday, 30 June 2008

Up, up and away!

Just wanted to say goodbye as I am now off to Sardinia on a major climbing trip for 9 days.

I will be back to all of you guys on the 10th of July.

See you then!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Well I'll probably just stab you in the front

I ended work last night in a thoroughly foul mood. A pity because I was heading over to Jailbait's house for a discussion about our Sardinia holiday next week and the poor boy had to deal with me ranting and raving in regards to work for about 20 minutes before I finally calmed down.

It's funny. Here in the office there is a great comradeship amongst all of the Production staff. We're friendly to each other, we regularly go out for lunch and use each other for sounding boards about work problems and ideas.


Underneath it all the claws will come out.

There is intense competition about who is going to get what show, who's contract is being extended, who is paid the highest and most important - who is going to get that long dreamed of promotion.

The problem is that we are mostly contracted so after the show that you are on there is a fair chance that the bosses will not extend it. Plus there are certain shows that we all want to work on - but of course only 1 of us can get that joy.

We're also not supposed to discuss our pay. But of course we all do. The reason for this is because then we might discover that the bosses are in fact lying to us and we are NOT on the highest wage for our position. This recently happened to one of my colleagues. I mentioned my rate, she realised I was x amount more a week than her and requested a pay rise. She firmly got told that she was on par with all the others and at this point they can't do it.

Uh oh.

Now she can't say anything cause then I'm in trouble - but believe me you WANT too!

I was annoyed because the powers that be know that I am angling for a promotion at the moment and keep fobbing me off with slightly more money and a promise that as soon as there is a position available that they can try me out in then it will happen.

The liars.

A new girl who started a couple of weeks ago just got contracted onto the junior position that I want.

They told me there were none available at present.

Does this mean I'm not good at my job or that they'd rather I did it on another show?


I really hate the politics.

They are putting me on an amazing show next and I am going to gain some invaluable studio experience on a live awards ceremony surrounded by celebrities - but part of me would rather have had that promotion.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

I've made a boo boo

I always say that it is not what you mess up but how you deal with it and fix it.

Classic example is a horror story that my Production Manager told us about today. A few years ago he was in Post Production (editing and actually putting the programme together) of a certain show and had been for about 3 weeks. One day the Producer called him up and requested certain footage from the rushes (raw material shot onto the tapes during filming) that were missing in the edit.

My Manager asked the Researcher who had been working on the show where the footage was.

She said it had gone down to the edit 3 weeks previously.

He proceeded to spend the rest of the day on the phone arguing between the Producer and the Post Production Editing Company who had obviously gone and lost the rushes.

*This is everyone's worst nightmare. I feel physically ill imagining having lost rushes. This is not footage you can go back and re shoot if you're working on a documentary. It is lost. Scary.*

Suddenly this happened

Researcher goes completely white

Researcher: Oh. My. God.

Manager: What? What? What?

Researcher: I know where the rushes are. Holy crap.

Manager: Desperation in his voice WHERE???

Researcher: Terrified tiny voice They're in the cupboard back at the ski lodge in France. I forgot them.

Manager: Holy crap.

The Researcher then organised to go back, get the rushes and bring them back ASAP to the office.

All I can say is hats off to her for actually admitting it. She could have continued to pretend not to know where they were and avoided having herself in the firing line. No one would have been any of the wiser.

That must have been absolutely terrifying.

I'm so glad I wasn't her.

Monday, 23 June 2008

Quaking in my boots

It has started.

The awful Production Executive has moved in behind me.

She started exerting her authority immediately this morning and even managed to upset my Production Manager with her loud demands and louder complaints about our little piece of the office.

Apparently it's too cluttered, boxes need to go, coffee areas need to be cleaned up, fire extinguishers moved and we all need to do it as fast as possible in order to pacify her.

She scares me.

She's big and loud and cranky. The worst part is that she can see directly onto my computer screen. I've angled it slightly though so it isn't completely in her eye line but still.


Least she is out at a lot of meetings during the day and I technically only have until the 1st of August and then I am moving floors so won't be near her BUT STILL!

Bossman: Miss M do we have to come in tomorrow?

Miss M: I KNOW!!!! I'm terrified!

Bossman: ME TOO!!!!

Least I know I'm not alone.

Friday, 20 June 2008

Let's go shopping

Major panic stations in our little area of the office yesterday. Turns out that one of the Directors was paid his salary more times than he should have been.

No one is really sure of how this happened.

Thing is, it isn't like it was only a couple of hundred pounds that appeared in his bank account - we are talking over £7000!

How does one not notice something like that?

I mean seriously.

Or did he hope that no one would notice that we paid him that much?

How would we NOT notice? But then again I suppose it has taken us 6 weeks to notice but it was bound to happen eventually.

Now we can't get a hold of him as he is away on holiday - blowing that extra 7 grand no doubt.

I mean seriously! What was going through his head?

Director: Ooo it appears I've been paid a bit more this month

Director: Wow, my rate went up

Director: Hmmm my dodgy dealings have finally paid off ...

Director: Wow man whoring is paying well these day!

Or maybe he is just like me and never checks his bank balance for fear of what he might see?

Well all I know is that he now has to pay us back £7000.

That would suck.

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

How boring

I wish I had a fun and entertaining story to tell you today.

But I don't.

Off to go and see an outdoor screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight. Jailbait has never seen it.

How shocking is that?

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Power Mad

I think I'm starting to get sick.

Not really 100% sure; my nose is all itchy and runny and I can not stop sneezing - however I don't feel particularly sick. It might just be hay fever?

It is making me exceedingly grumpy though and I do pity some of my fellow colleagues.

I don't have a lot of power in my job, in fact most of the time I'm the one answering to everyone else on the Creative side but sometimes - just sometimes - I can with hold things in a bid to have some sort of power. It's pathetic I know, but hey I was feeling sick and cranky today ok?

My least favourite Editor has this thing about getting his taxi's home in the evening if he works past 8pm. He's the only person who does this and because good Editors are hard to come by and exceptionally rare we cater to his desire and generally just turn a blind eye. I'm the poor sap who has to book them though and let's just say that this Editor really must thing that I have nothing better to do with my time than book his cars.


Hi Miss M, can you please book me my taxi for 2300 tonight and let me know the reference number? Thanks.


Hi Miss M, did you get my earlier email regarding my taxi?

Now I'm not petty, but for some reason I just didn't feel like answering him. Perhaps it is that power thing I was talking about?


Mobile rings, I don't recognise the number and figure since I'm sitting at my desk I'll ignore it as if it is work they'll call the land line number.

Message: Hi Miss M, it's Editor. Just trying to chase that cab. Can you please book it?

Yes. It must be that power thing. He is so desperate for that taxi.


Land line phone rings. I'm on the other line so put it through to voicemail.

Message: Miss M, please let me know!

Shame, the poor sap. He's really getting desperate now.


Mobile rings. It's my boss! (He was down in another Edit)

Bossman: Hi Miss M, Editor just rang. Apparently he's trying to get a cab booked and he can't get through to you?

Miss M: Ja I know, I heard and saw all the messages and emails! I'm just busy and didn't feel like doing it yet.

Bossman: Laughs

Miss M: I think I get some sort of perverse joy out of with holding it

Bossman: You're insane Miss M

So I gave in at 1710 and booked it for him. 4 hours later.

He wasn't impressed.

Sheesh. Can't please some people can you?

Friday, 13 June 2008

Evacuate the Building!

I got told the most scary thing ever today.

At the moment I have the most lovely Production Executive sitting behind me in an office. She is wonderful and I don't care if she sees that I am not doing working and am faffing around on Facebook.

She just told me that in 2 weeks she is moving to a different floor.

This is still okay. I can deal with this.

But then she told me that the most scary Production Executive ever is moving in behind me.

Oh. My. God.

She is so scary.

She'll never let me check my Facebook or chat to friends.

She might bust me blogging.

Oh. My. God.

What am I to do??

Thursday, 12 June 2008

So tired I could sleep all day

I apologise for my little rant yesterday. It just got a bit too much and generally you think that if your friends have a problem with you they will actually come to you and not turn it into a public event on the Internet.

In better news work has improved and my wonderful boss is coming up trumps once again. He is allowing me to leave an hour and a half early today so I can spent my final evening with my parents. How lovely is that?

Post Production is hectic stuff I might add. I didn't realise how much effort goes into editing a show and how many people have to view it and okay it.

1) The Edit Producer will view the show decide that they are happy

2) The Series Producer will view the show and decide if they are happy

3) The Executive Producer will view the show and decide if they are happy

4) The Commissioner will view a show and decide if they are happy

If around any of those 4 steps someone doesn't like something it's straight back into the edit and the changes are to be made.

The worst being step 4 as the Commissioner has bought a certain product and wants that product in a certain way.

It's like this: Imagine you've bought a brand new Ferrari; it arrives but isn't in your requested colour and nor does it have the interior that you paid for. You're going to complain. You're going to ask that they send you another Ferrari with the exact specifications that you paid for.

A television show is like that.

Now imagine dealing with 6 episodes!

It's exhausting.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

I am woman, hear me roar.

I am a very strong person. I have very definite opinions and views and am never afraid to share them. In fact I sometimes enjoy nothing more than having a good old debate and quite enjoy arguing about different points of view. I don't mind if people have separate opinions to me and believe different things but what I can not stand is people who are not willing to open their mind to the fact that there could be

1) People who think differently to them

2) That they could be, in fact, plain wrong

If I hear or see something that immediately gets my blood boiling because someone is insulting people or things I hold dear; or is just saying something that really gets my goat because it is plainly insulting to the general public I am going to let my thoughts be known. I am not going to cotton wool myself ever.

You like it or leave it. If you don't like that part of me then you are never going to generally like the whole of me.

I refuse to pussyfoot around people because I might be insulting their little point of view. If they are not strong enough or have enough conviction in what they believe in to stand up for it then more the shame to them. I will fight to the death for the things that I believe in and do not see it as wasted breath.

The Internet is a wonderful space. It is completely open and when we (us bloggers) post something up we are letting it out into the wide world and in turn leaving ourselves open to any other views and thoughts from our readers. If you don't want this to happen then

1) Moderate your blog

2) Make it private

If you don't want to hear other peoples thoughts then you are only writing for yourself. If you want the type of blog that people read and are interested in then you should welcome debates and not chastise your readers for actually taking a real interest in what you've written other than just randomly reading and then closing the page.

I welcome this.

Tell me your thoughts.

Is my blog crap? Am I talking out of my arse? Do you know someone in television who thinks that everything I write here is a complete lie?

Please tell me.

Because if I read something on your blog that I don't like I most definitely will be telling you.

I will NOT be censored.

So take it or leave it.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Worst. Day. Ever (part 2)

I'm just so tired.

I have my parents staying with me this week which means I'm sleeping on a mattress in the lounge which is never the best sleep and I am working my tiny behind off.

People are annoying me.

Worst part is that I have no outlet as I haven't been climbing so the stress is just building up and up and up and up. I'm going tonight - hopefully the leg will hold but if it doesn't I guess I'll stop or risk permanent damage to myself over killing my colleagues.

One Edit Producer is going to get a smack in the mouth from me soon. He talks to me in the most patronising manner ever. It is like he doesn't want to have to do anything that might take a bit of effort or thinks that it is below him. Either or he deserves a smack.

Miss M: Hi Edit Producer, can you email me your script for your episode so I can send it to the Commissioner?

Edit Producer: Stares at me silently for about 10 seconds I think you'll find it in the script area or do you not know where that is?

Miss M: No I don't. Please can you email it?

Edit Producer: Again silent for about 10 seconds I suppose I can


Or my personal favourite

Email Conversation

Hi Edit Producer, can you please let Editor know that he is moving into (edit number) on Monday?

I did this as he was working with the editor in question that week

Hi Miss M, I don't understand why I have to do this. Isn't it your job?


But he was sitting with you and no one answered the phone!

He's just being a difficult pain in the arse.

P.S However I discovered later after getting really ansy with him that the editor had left for the day and he thought I was asking him to call him. Although that still doesn't warrent being that cranky.

Monday, 9 June 2008

Worst. Day. Ever.

I know I've been AWOL.

It's crazy over here.

All I have to say is that if I didn't love my Manager and Series Producer I'd quit right now.

I'm so fuming mad.

How can people expect me to do my job properly when I'm doing the job of 3 people at once?

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Hello Miss M speaking

We had some fun and entertaining training today. Turns out that our telephone systems are changing over to some new fancy schmacy handsets and us Production staff need to learn how to use them in order to teach the rest of our teams.

I am not relishing that moment I might add.

What I thought was going to be a very boring hour and a half (yes AN HOUR AND A HALF to learn how to use a frikken handset??) actually turned into a totally hysterical session with us all playing silly buggers and driving the trainer absolutely bonkers.

We sat around a table with our own phone in front of us and got taught how to:

1) Change our ring tones (We can have some fantastic tunes that will drive my colleagues MAD)

2) Access our voicemail

3) How to divert calls/transfer calls/park calls/screen calls

4) How to set up conference calls

The last one really rocks my world. We can create conference calls with 7 other people and those can be internal numbers, external numbers and international numbers.

Do you know what this means?

It means I can have fantastic gossip sessions with my friends on conference calls! We can natter the day away about random crap all together!

I can phone SA and conference in my friends back home! It'll be brilliant! Hysterical! The best time ever!

Do you think I'll get into trouble?

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Always look on the bright side of life

I must apologise for my recent current bad moods and general listlessness, this can be attributed to one of my housemates and her constant negative mood.

It really is starting to affect me in so many ways.

1) I don't want to come home at night if I know she is home and my other housemate is not

2) It is making me uncomfortable in my own home as she barely talks at all and when she does she just moans

3) She is just so negative about everything that it starts to bring me down too

4) It is starting to make me resent her and dislike her in general which is a pity cause we've been living together for almost 3 years really well.

Now I know she is going through a hard time. I know she is depressed. I know that she feels trapped in London and really wants to go to Australia. I know that she is lonely as many of her friends have left London.

I know all of this.

But what I don't know or can't get is why she isn't trying to do anything about it.

You aren't happy in your life? You try to make it better. You're lonely? You pick up a hobby and try to meet people. You hate your job? You start actively looking for a new one. You're depressed? You don't go out drinking and getting absolutely hammered 3 or 4 times a week as that just generally does not help with depression.

Hang on, if you can afford to go out on the piss 3 or 4 times a week how can you complain about being broke? Just put that money aside and I'm sure in a couple of months you'd have enough for a plane ticket to Aus - just sort out the rest in the mean time.

I can't stand people who don't actively try and better their lives. It drives me mental. I want to slap her. Hard. I want her to stop complaining and moaning about everything and actually get off of her arse and do something about it.

Otherwise I might kill her.

Housemate: Oh god, I can't believe this weather. It just upsets me so much. I can't stand rain. I hate it. Man this country is just so crap!

Miss M: Oi, we can't do anything about the weather so don't let it get to you! There is plenty to do even when it is raining.

Housemate: Ya but I just want to go surfing and I can't. I hate it. I hate this place. There is nothing to do.

Miss M: You can surf, just go to Cornwall. There is loads of surfing there.

Housemate: It's too expensive. I can't afford it. I hate my job. I don't make enough money.


Housemate: Whatever

I. Really. Might. Kill. Her.