Guess who's back? Miss M's back ... back again!

Right, first off I would like to apologise for my extended absence.

"See you soon" has turned in to almost 3 months but it isn't that I haven't TRIED to blog because I've sat with my laptop in front of me staring at the screen trying to figure out what fun and entertaining anecdote I can come back with. What can I start with to hook my readers back with a bang? I just haven't been able to write.

But I'm back now and I'm just going to jump right in there.

Jade Goody. I am so over it now. (If you don't know what I'm talking about please google it)

Yes I'm sad that she is dying, yes it is horrible and yes my heart goes out to her and her family. I completely understand where she is coming from, the poor woman is just trying to provide for her children after she has died and I get that. It is pure instinct and if I was in her position I would probably be doing the same thing.

It is us that I am repulsed by. It is the fact that we're willing to pay money to watch someone's slow and painful death. People seem to be fascinated by it. What sick society do we live in that people want to watch this?

Gordon Brown has spoken out about her, 300 000 pounds was just spent on a faerie tale wedding for her yesterday and you can barely turn anywhere without seeing her face. The owner of Harrods gave her a 3000 pound dream wedding dress and the Sugarbabes played at her wedding. Celebrities are rallying around her showing their support - Now I wouldn't have a problem if this was raising awareness of cervical cancer but all I can see is it raising more awareness of Jade and the British obsession with Celebrities lives. There have been no charities made to help other people with Cancer and no attempts of money to be raised which upsets me. Did she really need to spend all that money on a wedding? Wouldn't that money have been better spent on helping people who can't afford the world class treatment she is getting and trying to save more lives?

I am ashamed to be linked to this show; I'm ashamed to think that I work for a company that would cash in on the death of another human being and I am refusing to partake in it.

My company are jumping on this cash cow too. They're filming her final interview on national television where the general public can gorge their eyes on her for the last time. Am I the only one who thinks that this is sick?

I apologise for the rant but this has really been upsetting me - I'm back now and I promise some fun, laughter, tears and more rants purely for your entertainment!

Lights, Camera, Action!

So Tuesday was the climax to the past 2 months. We filmed our show in the studios and it went amazingly well.

But it was the most intense day and night of my life.

I got in to work at 0800 and headed down to our make-shift Production Office in the studios and from 0815 until 2300 I swear we did not stop. Production is the first port of call for ANYONE so we were basically bombarded with queries, request, complaints and demands for 15 hours.

Not to mention the constant ringing of phones.

Reception isn't the brightest tool in the shed.

Ringing of phone

Miss M: Hello Production office

Reception: Hi, I have so and so downstairs

Miss M: Is there name on the list that I gave to you earlier?

Reception: Let me check. No.

Miss M: Then they need to go to door blah blah

5 minutes later

Miss M: Hello Production office

Reception: Hi, I have so and so downstairs

Miss M: Is there name on the list that I gave to you earlier?

Reception: Let me check. No.

Miss M: Then they need to go to door blah blah

5 minutes later

Miss M: Hello Production office

Reception: Hi, I have so and so downstairs

Miss M: Is there name on the list that I gave to you earlier?

Reception: Let me check. No.

Miss M: Then they need to go to door blah blah

I swear after the 5th time I wanted to murder them. And it went on for about 4 hours.

However throughout the day and night I

1) Peed in a stall next to Emma B and Geri from the Spice Girls

2) Directed Richard Branson to the exit

3) Got smiled at by Kevin Spacey

4) Got winked at by Russell Brand

5) Saw McFly, Dame Shirley Bassey, The Prime Minister, Michael Caine, the Olympic Gold Medal winners of the UK, Jason Donovan, Ronan Keating, Gordon Ramsey, Rachel Stevens and too many other minor English celebs to remember

It really was a night I will never forget.

More stories coming!

The Price to Pay

Overheard in the bathrooms at my Studio show last night

2 minor Celebs standing by the mirrors touching up their makeup

Girl 1: Oh wow, you look so gorgeous and thin! You are so thin!

Girl 2: Thanks, but I am sooooo hungry!

So go eat something. Please dear god. Eat.

I'm just recovering from last night. Will let you know all the details later!

Keep posted.

Autograph Hunters

There are these strange and creepy people that hang outside of our building in the mornings. It is kind of disturbing. They are there to collect as many autographs from the "celebrities" who frequent our building. God alone knows WHAT they do with the autographs but hey, each to their own right?

It is always the same people though. And these people are not the cream of the crop. Well I suppose you wouldn't find them outside of a building all morning during the week - the stylish people have more important things to do.

Like live!

These people tend to dress in clothing that looks as if it has been in the back of their wardrobes since the 80's - they also smell as if they haven't bathed since the 80's either! They stand near the exit with their little notepads, pens and cameras chatting amongst each other and swapping what I can only presume to be stories of all the Z-list Celebs that they have met.

But seriously how do they know which celebrities are there that day? Do they have contacts in the show? Do they actually know who is going to be on or do they just show up with the hopes of seeing someone famous?

Do these people not have a life?!

Red carpet events are even worse. These people are there for about 5 hours before the event even begins.

What do you get from this? So you get a squiggle on a piece of paper and a photograph possibly with someone off TV. Big frikken deal.

Get a life.

Please.

P.S - Brussels was great fun. I love old European cities.

I'm just too sexy for this blog

We had a couple of visitors in the office this morning - The Right Said Fred brothers. Who here remembers them?

I loved that song when I was a kid - we used to prance up and down miming the words - we really though it was just the coolest song ever. Unfortunately now I hear it, cringe and wish that I didn't know it, but such is life.

I do love the two of them though. When I met them at one of our previous shoots I just had the overwhelming desire to beg Richard to say it - I desperately wanted to hear him utter those words! I could just see the conversation unfolding in my head ...

Miss M: That shirt looks really good on you

Right Said Fred Brother: Thanks

Miss M: Tilts her head knowingly In fact it almost looks too good on you ...

Right Said Fred Brother: Umm ... ok, thanks

Miss M: Do you not feel too good in it?

Right Said Fred Brother: Worrying stare No ...

Miss M: Puppy dog eyes Oh come on, just say it!

Right Said Fred Brother: Say what?

Miss M: Stamps foot on the ground Please, please, please, just say it now!

Right Said Fred Brother: Backing away slowly I think I might need my bodyguards now

*Sighs*

It would have been beautiful though ...

P.S: Two more nights of J, but I think he might get voted off tonight. I am now slightly off him though, I saw him filing his nails on last nights show. No manly man is supposed to do a thing like that!

Overheard in the Office 2

One colleague to another on Ritchie from ex boyband 5Ive

Colleague 1: Ye, Ritchie was rather gorgeous

Colleague 2: Really? I never liked him in the band

Colleague 1: Well he is hot now, but his girlfriend was so plain

Colleague 2: No!

Colleague 1: I mean she seemed a nice person and all but I'm all about the looks

Colleague 2: Completely straight face Me too, I totally judge on looks as well

TV People are just the key to humanity aren't they?

Lights, Glamour and Celebs

People find it very strange that I work on a show which is filled with celebs but that I don't actually have a clue who any of them are.

Today my colleagues gave me so much flack because I did not know who the celebrity they were talking about was. I even googled her and the face is triggering no memories.

Apparently since I've lived here for 2 and a half years I should recognise all of the d-list celebs that are talked about in the stupid newspapers over here. Can I help the fact that I do not like reading things like The Sun or The Daily Mirror? Would it make me do my job any better if I did recognise them?

On the same vein last night I saw the following celebrities coming into the building for "An Audience with Celine Dion" - you guys tell me if you recognise the names of anyof them

1) Louis Walsh

2) Shane Ward

3) Gaz (from 2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps)

4) Stephen Gately

5) Nicky and Kian from Westlife

6) Graham Norton

7) Carol Thatcher

Do YOU know them?

Today I did see Heather Mills-McCartney - that woman is completely insane.

I'm just so cool

I can not believe what I managed to do this afternoon. I'm just so cool.

My colleague and I snuck into Celine Dion's rehearsal in the studio's for this evenings show. We watched her sing, standing on the stage without any makeup, before we got kicked out.

Security: Do you have a crew pass?

Miss M: Excuse me?

Security: Do you have a crew pass?

Colleague: I'm sorry I can't quite hear you

Security: *getting impatient* Do the two of you have crew passes?

Miss M: Crew passes?

Security: You need crew passes to be standing here

Colleague: Oh, no we don't

Security: The two of you will have to leave

Miss M: Damn.

Hey, we managed to stall him for a further 30 seconds to a minute pretending we couldn't understand him.

We did manage to see the Diva herself though and she sounds beautiful!