Monday, 30 March 2009

This is war

We have a guest staying in our house. She is very quiet and she doesn't bother us much as she is mostly active at night but she does have a problem with going to the toilet around the kitchen.

She is a mouse and I have named her Tinkerbell (no idea if she is female but I feel better this way)

We don't see her much, just every so often, but occasionally I find her droppings in the cupboard under the sink and I sometimes hear her in, what I think, is the ceiling.

The other day my housemate saw her in the bathroom upstairs. I genuinely do not know who got more of a fright, him or the mouse, but after a surprisingly girly shriek he came to let me know.

That was the end of it.

Lying in bed all I could think was that Tinkerbell was in my room (it is next to the bathroom) and every sound was her creeping up in to my bed and every itch on my body was her running over me.

I'm not sure if it was the idea of a mouse touching me or just the general shock of the idea of someone (thing) being in my bed as it has been so long but whatever it was I have now declared a personal vendetta against Tinkerbell.

We are starting with humane traps and if those don't work we are moving on to poison.

But by these words I swear that this will be the end of Tinkerbell freeloading in my house. She should not have crossed the boundary.

Now it is war.

Thursday, 26 March 2009

Cry me a River

Most of you who follow my blog will know that I soon become unemployed and am job hunting. So far without any success but we are still holding thumbs on that front.

I have never realised before how stressful looming unemployment is and how it can affect you in ways you just don't expect. I do feel sorry for my friends and housemates as I just start crying sometimes for no apparent reason.

Housemate: Can you please pass me the salt?

Miss M: Voice cracking from welling up It isn't anywhere near me!!!

Housemate: Umm Miss M it's fine, I can get it myself

Miss M: Tears starting now I know

Another evening on the telephone to Lopz at 3am in the morning

Lopz: Miss M are you ok? What's wrong?

Miss M: Wracked with sobs I DON'T KNOW!!! I JUST FEEL SO SAD!!!

Lopz: Do you want me to come round?

Miss M: Gasping for breath between the tears No I'll be fine, I just can't stop crying


My father upset me greatly today because he ended up speaking to a Line Producer in Cape Town who informed him that she has more work than she knows what to do with and that if my skill sets are what she is looking for she could "offer me a job before my plane hits the ground".

I don't know if I am ready to go home yet but if no job comes up soon in London I might just have too.

I don't know if I could leave my London Family quite yet.

I just don't know.

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

High heels are bad for my health

I made a lift faux pas earlier. Apparently touching your colleagues in the lift is not the done thing. In my defense I got a fright and he was comfortable.

Get in the lift at floor 21. One other person in there.

Lift starts rushing down towards the ground

Miss M falls over her own feet whilst in a pair of high heels fullforce in to the lift partner, grabbing him around the waist in the process.

Miss M: EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK (was a frightning experience ok)

Colleague: It's ok, the lift always goes this fast when it doesn't stop on any other floors

Miss M: I just fell over my high heels

Colleague: I'm sure. I promise you it's ok.

Miss M: I'm fine I promise.

Colleague: Can you please let go of my waist then?

Miss M: Sorry

Least I'm leaving soon so I won't have to be reminded of this experience for months to come.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Breaking out

Do you ever get bored of who you are? Bored of the fact that everyone always sees you in the same way and you almost become typecast in to your specific role within a group and then that is the only way that people view you.

I'm tired of being the "funny one" or the "sweet innocent one"; I want to be the bombshell, I want to be the wild one, I want to be someone that people notice.

I don't want people to be able to second guess my actions, I want people to stand back and say wow.

At the moment I'm safe. I'm predictable. I'm not absurd. I consider everything first. I'm stubborn as hell.

I suppose this is because the closer and closer I get to being unemployed without any sign of another job the more I start to question everything about myself. It is like having a mini midlife crisis at 26.

I wish it was possible to swap lives with someone for a day; I want to experience what it is like to not be me, to be one of those spotlight people without actually having to commit to anything.

Am I making any sense?

I want to take a vacation from my life but be able to come back without any consequences from my actions during the little hiatus.

Perhaps I will reinvent myself at 26 - watch out people, here comes the new (not too sure if it is improved) Miss M!

Friday, 13 March 2009

Introducing the infamous MISS M!

I'm trying to figure out what I am going to do with my career if getting another job in TV proves to be impossible in the current climate.

Lopz and I have been having a brainstorm about this.

To: Miss M
From: Lopz
So, are you inspired? What would you like to do Miss M - the world is your oyster?!?!

To: Lopz
From: Miss M
I want to be an international singing sensation

To: Miss M
From: Lopz
Hmm ok, so what are we going to do about your most prominent shortcoming then - I mean the one where YOU CAN'T SING?

To: Lopz
From: Miss M
Everyone can sing.
I shall just get a fantastic voice synthesizer.
Look at Britney?
Most prominent shortcoming is the inability to dance and no sex appeal like Britney. We can work on this?

To: Miss M
From: Lopz
There must be like some kind of boot camp we can send you to right? One where they churn out the manufactured pop stars. Simon Cowell probably runs them. Sooooo, maybe, if we can connect with Cheryl Cole, we can in turn be introduced to Simon and convince him to send you to this star making facility.
How can we find Cheryl Cole?

This went on for a while whilst we plotted ways to become Cheryl's new best friend. Props to Lopz for her plan to pap Ashley with another woman and bribe Cheryl with this. I like it. Thinking out the box.

The reality though is that I have no idea what else I could do other than TV Production.

Ideas are welcome.

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No is just stupid Miss M

I wear glasses.

There I've said it. I am not ashamed. I do not want to be part of the perfect 20/20 vision freak club out there.

Mine are for reading and computer work. I used to think that only grannies wear reading glasses but I now realise that ... well ... only old grannies wear reading glasses so I have started wearing mine out and about.

Ok ok the real reason is because my eyes have started hurting and it eases the pain (and the eye stress) to wear them on my way home and anyways I read on the train too

I've recently started noticing some strange looks from fellow commuters. At first I thought it was because I morphed in to an old granny when wearing said glasses but a quick compact check confirmed that I was still a healthy 26. Perhaps my underwear was caught in my skirt? A hurried grope of my behind confirmed, much to the entertainment of the gentleman beside me, that my underwear was not on display.

However yesterday it all clicked in to place after my colleague pointed out to me that I was staring overtly at people.

Miss M: They can see me staring?

Colleague: Well yes, you are staring at them?

Miss M: But I'm wearing my glasses

Colleague: You're not a superhero Miss M. Unlike Clarke Kent I can still see it is you when you're wearing your glasses.

Miss M: Of course not, don't be silly. I have a horrid feeling I thought I was wearing my sunglasses

Colleague: On the tube?

Perhaps I am losing my mind like a little old granny?

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Vacant Position, apply please

Whilst I had an amazing holiday in Cape Town over the December time it did involve Jailbait and I no longer being friendly towards each other.

I thought it would destroy me but strangely enough I do not miss him. I think this is, in part, thanks to Lopz and her wonderful friends who have become my family over here, and also because he was a total pain in the arse quite frankly.

This has left me with an opening for a climbing partner.

There are so many criteria that it is actually quite a difficult position to fill.

1) Must be male
2) Must have hot body for me to stare at whilst he is climbing
3) He must be able to carry an intelligent conversation as the weather is so unpredictable here that you can end up spending the weekend trapped in each others company
4) His skills must exceed mine so I can learn from him
5) He must not have a girlfriend who will resent the time being spent with him
6) My "family" must like him - unlike Jailbait whom they hated

As you can see I am not asking for much.

Interviews have started but aren't going so well

Greek God.
Am stunned in his presence

Climbs like a lead footed dwarf
Unable to discuss economic crisis and doesn't get my jokes. (fair enough many have been known to stare blankly at me but I figure those who laugh are keepers)

Exceptionally graceful climber
Makes me giggle and conversation flows

Weighs less than me. Something about a man weighing less than me promotes eating disorders and suicide

Interview 3 is happening this evening.

Perhaps this one is a keeper?

Am also thinking that adrenalin rush could lead to sex with new partner?

Monday, 9 March 2009

The cup hath not runneth over

I know things are getting bad when I enjoy the whistling from the workmen next door.

And you know it is even more worse when they don't whistle and you question what you're wearing.

Or you start planning in the morning what would be the most appealing to the said workmen. Soon I will be knowing them by name, they will be my new best friends and I will run all of my outfits past them.


Basically I need sex. Yes you heard it.

I. Need. To. Get. Laid.

It is reaching the point where even my friends are starting to look appealing.

No wait, been there tried that, didn't quite work according to plan and all I have to say is that on that matter is that I am very glad I have forgiving and understanding friends.

Like the economy and businesses that are running dry my sex life has ground to a complete halt. I am not really too sure who to blame this on but I have to do something about it.

Please tell me that this is normal every once and a while?

Please tell me that there are others out there who crave the attention from the wolf whistling workmen?

Please don't let me be the only one.

Thursday, 5 March 2009

The loooooong wait

I think that I have been exceptionally lucky working for the company I have been at for almost 2 years. We are very laid back, very chilled and definitely not in the thick of the most stylish media people.

Today I went for an interview at a large Indie Production Company and was reminded of how pretentious this industry really is!

I arrive for my 3pm meeting.

The overdressed receptionist finally pays attention to me and takes my name

I'm sitting on the exceptionally stylish couches in the waiting room

Side note: Has anyone noticed that there is a direct correlation between the comfort of a chair and how stylish it is? The more stylish the less comfortable. I find this works as a rule.

Change position on the seriously uncomfortable couch

Am joined by 2 designer clad people

Realise that perhaps the chair would be more comfortable if I too was decked out in stylish gear as the people next to me look cosy

Update Twitter status out of boredom

Text Lopz out of boredom

Timidly ask the receptionist if she can check in on the person I'm meeting. She looks at me like I'm something dirty. Again I regret my clothing choice

Wonder why it is perfectly fine for the person conducting the interview to be late but if I was late it would reflect badly on me.

HR woman finally shows up full of apologies.

She turned out to be lovely and weirdly enough from South Africa. Rumour has it there may be a job there for me, just need to rework my CV for her to pass on.

The world isn't looking too black today.

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Welcome to the jungle

There is the smell of fear in my office at present.

When the bottom dropped off the banking system around the world last year I never thought that it would affect me. In the newspapers each day we were reading horror stories of people losing their jobs, images of bankers leaving their offices with their belongings in cardboard boxes were transfixing us but again, I just never saw it happening to me.

Now one by one the Freelancers in my office are having their contracts ended. There is a freeze on commissions from all the channels and because of this new contracts and hiring are just not happening.

What small jobs there are I now have to compete with my friends for. I have to compete with the people who I've been working with for almost 2 years and it's horrible.

I feel exception guilt when I get called in to go and meet with one company and my colleague doesn't.

To make matters worse we have a departmental meeting tomorrow where the near future of our company is going to be explained to us. Staff are foreseeing redundancies and the gossip is that they are going to try and get rid of as many people as possible, bring the staff down to skeleton and then start rehiring people for smaller contracts if and when they actually get commissions.

All I can say about this is go out shopping people! Buy food, buy household products, buy clothing and buy music! My lively hood depends on advertisers putting money down for slots and unless you guys start buying their products it is never going to happen!

You all have my permission to go shopping.