Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Breaking out

Do you ever get bored of who you are? Bored of the fact that everyone always sees you in the same way and you almost become typecast in to your specific role within a group and then that is the only way that people view you.

I'm tired of being the "funny one" or the "sweet innocent one"; I want to be the bombshell, I want to be the wild one, I want to be someone that people notice.

I don't want people to be able to second guess my actions, I want people to stand back and say wow.

At the moment I'm safe. I'm predictable. I'm not absurd. I consider everything first. I'm stubborn as hell.

I suppose this is because the closer and closer I get to being unemployed without any sign of another job the more I start to question everything about myself. It is like having a mini midlife crisis at 26.

I wish it was possible to swap lives with someone for a day; I want to experience what it is like to not be me, to be one of those spotlight people without actually having to commit to anything.

Am I making any sense?

I want to take a vacation from my life but be able to come back without any consequences from my actions during the little hiatus.

Perhaps I will reinvent myself at 26 - watch out people, here comes the new (not too sure if it is improved) Miss M!


kyknoord said...

Well, your first step would be identity theft. I'd go for being someone with money, but your mileage may vary.

The Divine Miss M said...

Interesting idea ... think I can steal Scarlett Johanssons?

Or is that TOO over the top?!

po said...

Interesting. I have been thinking alot about the way people see us defining who we are. Or more specifically, the way we think people see us.

I think we are hugely defined by other peoples perceptions. And it pisses me off, because most people think in cliches.

We should not let other people's cliches define us any more! PEople are complex, there are no definitions.

The Divine Miss M said...

Very true Po but do you not find that it is hard to break out of the habit?

Also people start to think that they can second guess you and you become comfortable in the cliche and that is what defines you.

I suppose I just want to see something different in peoples eyes, I want to reinvent myself in a way.

Aag I dunno, I think I'm having a personal crisis ;)

Annie Valentine said...

Why don't you saunter over here and take my kids for the weekend? It would certainly be an experience, and by the time you're done, you'll wish you were unemployed.

Miss T said...

Think Quantun that would be great...well except the gender swapping thing sometimes

boldly benny said...

This totally makes sense to me.

Sometimes I really wish I could be an actress to have the opportunity to take on different roles and explore different aspects of my personality.

6000 said...

Pop a baby out like Po is going to.
It's a life-changing experience.

I'm you can't get preggers (fertility "issues" or lack of partner - hey - I don't know your situation) then steal a baby.

Also a life-changing experience.

Anyway - I have to go now - the warders are here and it's back to my cell.

po said...

Oi! What is this? No bebbies pooping out of any orifice here!

Miss M, I know exactly how you feel. I guess it is up to us to fight the feeling that others expect certain things from us. I think it is mostly in our minds, and even if it is not, then it is up to us not to be influenced by it.

The Divine Miss M said...

@annie V - Deal! Contact me and we'll sort it out ;)

@miss t - I dunno hey, I think it would be interesting to see what being like a guy is like!

@bb - ja, though I don't necessarily want to be someone famous, I just don't want to be me!

@6000 - I think I'll be aunty to Po's baba, probably healthier for me ... and the baby!

@po - So true, but it is really hard NOT to be influenced by it. Like when I do something absurd and out of character and people are like WHAT IS MISS M DOING!!!?!?!?!?


Elise said...

I'll switch with you Miss M... Just for a day. Then we can blog about it xx

Lopz said...

Saturday night explained in one blog post. I feel enlightened now.

Oh yes, and @ 6000 - WTF???? Bring a little crazy to the table why don't you! ;-)

The Divine Miss M said...

@elise - Hell ya!

@lopz - Shush. Many more to come :P

Amy said...

Hmm, thats funny Miss M, i don't see you in that way at all!

I think we all have a perception of how people see us which isn't neccessarily accurate.

Miss you!

boldly benny said...

I didn't mean from a famous point of view, I meant from the possibility of exploring different parts of myself and even assuming different personalities. I have friends who are stage actresses and say that it is very liberating to be someone different from who they really are!

Claire said...

girl, tell me about it! I feel like that everyday :) great blog by the way!

The Divine Miss M said...

@amy - I MISS YOU TOO!!!

@bb - oh I get you, as in be the actress so you can play whoever you want? That would be good ...

@claire - glad you get that sometimes too ... thanks! Hope you stick around :)