Monday, 29 September 2008

Pain in the arse colleagues

I really hate this when I am finished my work.


Miss M: Hey dude, is there anything I can do to help you with before going home?

Colleague: Not at the second, but do you mind hanging around cause I might need help soon


You want me to stick around at work and wait for you to finish what ever the fuck you are doing to see, if maybe, you need some help?

What a load of fucking bullshit.

I hate my colleague sometimes.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Conversations in the Lift

Just another lovely conversation overheard by Miss M on the way to her floor

Lovely Old English Gentleman:
Sweet quavering voice I can not remember which one it was, they both look the same to me

Lady: Did she have big tits?

LOEG: Peers at her Excuse me?

Lady: Big tits, did she have them?

LOEG: I am not quite understand you, big what?

Lady: Busoms, boobs, knockers, breasts or tits

LOEG: Splutters Oh is that what you are calling them these days

Lady: Welcome to (company name) we say it like it is

I felt so sorry for him as he got off with her at the floor.

He looked very uncomfortable.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

What not to do at work

I almost lost my job today.

Not the best way to start a Wednesday.

Last week I got contacted by another company whom I had worked for years ago asking what my availability was and if I'd like to come in for a chat.

Well I'm not a girl to turn down a cup of tea and a chat so I made arrangements to go and meet with him not really thinking anything of it.

He basically offered me a similar role to what I am doing now but with a slightly higher credit on the show so I can essentially move up faster. The money wasn't much better and as soon as I was done meeting him I had made the decision to reject the offer as I do not really want to leave my current company unless something AMAZING was offered to me.

End of story and I'd removed it from my mind.

Until this morning when I got a message from the Unit Manager asking if she can have a quick chat with me.

I almost shat my pants as I couldn't think of a reason why she'd want to see me.

Basically it turns out that the company I had gone to see contacted my Head of Production BEFORE I even met with him to find out references for me so my company started thinking that I was job hunting and were waiting to hear my resignation.

They even went as far as to line up other people for the next show that I am supposed to be going to work on and wanted to make sure that was fine and find out when I would be leaving.


And never again will I go behind my companies back about another job.

Though in all fairness he should not have contact them without my permission. It is only because he knows my Head of Production.

Man that scared me so bad.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

The. Best. Day. Ever.

I'm continuing with the pattern of everything going wrong today because it has just been another one of those days.

From when I walked in and for the following 2 hours I just kept sorting out other peoples problems which had become my own. It really frustrates me because other peoples incompetence makes me look as if I am not doing my job and there is nothing I dislike more than someone thinking I am bad at my job.

The glory of my day

1) Directors have not been telling me that they need rushes digitised in (for "none TV people" this is getting the footage put into the editing programme so they can play with it) and therefore I haven't been doing it.

It doesn't matter that they didn't tell me, apparently I should have mind reading abilities

2) The Machine room did not digitise in some rushes over the weekend and stalled an edit that was starting today. They claim to have received a bogus phone call over the weekend saying not to digitise in.

What moron would play a trick like that? They're just trying to cover their backs re their mistake so I end up taking the flack.

I wish people would admit their mistakes.

3) The Series Producer did not inform me that he needed a TV and DVD player in his meeting with a very famous British TV presenter. So there wasn't one.

Apparently that was my fault too.

I really should practice these mind reading abilities.

4) I got a right bollocking from a Producer on GMTV (morning programme here in England) as apparently I was rude to him over the phone.

Well I'm sorry - they have been playing silly buggers since last week with the rushes and I REALLY needed them today so I let him know.

Not my fault if he is really delicate.

Deal with it.

5) I thought that the lid was on my water bottle and gesticulated wildly with it.

The contents ended up over me.

It was icy cold.

On the plus side I rode the lift with the British band The Kooks. That is pretty cool right?

Thankfully this was prior to the water bottle incident so I was not sopping wet.


When is Tuesday going to end?

Friday, 19 September 2008

Travel companies suck ass.

The past two days have been nightmare days when everything goes wrong.

Yet it has still been really funny. Well from my point of view, not from the others.

First oopsy

I was away from my desk yesterday for about 30 minutes sorting something out, I came back and discovered the paperwork for a hire car which was only supposed to be delivered today at 1800 sitting on my desk along with a set of car keys.

Researcher: Hey Miss M how come I've received a hire car?

Miss M: I don't know hey, did you accept it?

Researcher: Picture of innocence Well I couldn't say no could I?

So the hire car company was closed and we randomly have a hire car for an extra day. Oh well. One thing is for sure, we are NOT paying for it.

Second oopsy

2 of my Directors were taking a 0620 train to Manchesterthis morning and go to get their fast ticket machine tickets at Euston station and then get on the train. They discover, to their pleasure, that they are booked into first class. That NEVER happens.

However the euphoria is short lived when the ticket inspector comes around and points out that instead of 2 x London to Manchester and 2 x Manchester to London tickets they have 4 x Manchester to London tickets in first class.

They get fined £180 each for fare dodging.

Though they did still get to eat and drink all the free food and booze on the journey.

Good fun. I love our travel company.

Third Oopsy

Train tickets arrive from our travel company today for a journey which is on Saturday 20th from Huddersfield to London.

I look at the tickets and realise that they are for Birmingham to London on Monday 22nd of September.

What fun.

Now what else is going to happen?

Please dear god I want to finish work at a normal time today.

What are the chances?

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

A Daily Mantra

I've developed a mantra that I have to repeat about 30 times a day just to keep sane at the moment.

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

It isn't that it is that bad. It is just trying to handle 12 over the top personalities all working together in close proximity is proving to be harder than I imagined. TV people are prone to being Drama Queens and this lot really are taking it to the limit.

The urge to murder them slowly one by one is getting stronger by the day.

One of my colleagues and I ended up going for a drink after work last night. I think that both of us just needed that release and just to let it all out. We desperately needed to get out all of our grievance's and frustration and realise that we are not the only one feeling this exact same thing.

For me it was just wonderful to know that the other side - Editorial - was feeling the same and that even they battle with the same insecurities and the thorough lack of motivation at the moment.

We bitched about our colleagues as well as work which is always fun.

One thing that makes me laugh is how we slate our colleagues completely but start each sentences just so:

Miss M: Now I completely love so and so BUT ...

Colleague: Yes I know! I totally love so and so BUT ...

I'm hoping our discussion remains between the two of us. I'm pretty sure it will though as she COMPLETELY ripped our Series Producer a new one last night.

But she still does love him.

Monday, 15 September 2008

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

People don't realise exactly how much effort us Production team members actually put into setting up a shoot.

It isn't like you can go "we're filming on Tuesday" and we set it up instantaneously. There is a long, slow, horrid process and something simple can literally take us hours to achieve.

Or days in some circumstances.

Take for example a shoot that my Manager has just set up in a Middle Eastern country. She had to liaise with the MOD and basically has spent about a solid week and a half trying to set up a situation where a Director, Cameraman and 2 presenters can fly out, do some filming and then fly back.

People don't realise how hard this is - there are so many hoops to jump through - so they kept changing things slightly, changing details, changing times, changing people etc until the point where I thought Wallie might explode. The moment they said they might not go through with it after she had finally managed to set the whole thing up I thought she might go postal and kill everyone.

So finally everything was solved. Everything was set up. Everything was happening.

Then this morning 1 small thing, 1 tiny, pathetic insignificant action almost destroyed a week and a halves worth of work and thousands of pounds worth of cost.

The taxi driver taking the Director and the Cameraman to the MOD airfield ran a right light. He then got pulled over by the police and proceeded to argue with them over this infraction.

They almost missed the flight. The careful planning and organising was almost completely eradicated by the actions of a total wanker.

Poor Wallie spent about 2 hours on the phone with a panicking Director, a taxi service and trying to beg the MOD to postphone the flight they were supposed to be in.

As you can imagine Wallie was not in the best of moods today.

I just sometimes wish that people would acknowledge and appreciate the amount of work that we put into this and realise how much effort, time and energy it saps from us.

Problem is when it goes smoothly and perfectly no one notices because that is how it is meant to be.

But when something goes wrong EVERYONE notices.

Friday, 12 September 2008


Apparently I have quite a dirty mind.

Colleague 1 heading down the corridor

Colleague 2: Calling out to Colleague 1 Ooo are you heading to the water fountain?

Colleague 1: No I'm going to the toilet

Miss M: Giggling Same difference isn't it?

Didn't go down too well.

Apparently stressful Friday's don't give people a sense of humour.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

What gets my Goat

A machine that prints, scans and photocopies all in one. This is - in theory - fantastic.

This machine prints on both sides of the paper. Again, absolutely bloody fantastic.


It photocopies only one side of the paper.

Even worse.

It photocopies one side of each piece of paper AND puts each side onto 1 piece of paper. So I have page 1 and 3 on one page and no page 2.

How FUCKING stupid is THAT?????

I also appear to be surrounded by people who are incapable of doing things for themselves.

Do I look like your mother? If you didn't put a label on something at our old office it did not get moved over here. I explained it and I thought that you had listened to me.

It is not my problem anymore. Go back to the old office and get it yourself.

Also, whilst we're at it, I have much better things to do with my time than find you a charger for your mobile when you're the one who has lost it.

I repeat. I. Am. Not. Your. Mother.

Please do not wander up to my desk with a lost expression and tell me your woes. As you can tell I am NOT in the mood for it.

On the plus side I had my Career Development Review this afternoon. I got some glowing feedback but it isn't it amazing how I can focus on the 1 small thing that someone expressed negatively? One small, tiny, insignificant thing that I am now just going to obsess over for the next few weeks.

Unfortunately it is from the Manager I'm working with at the moment and I'm pretty sure she knows why I'm shooting her the evils this afternoon.

Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day hey?

Monday, 8 September 2008

Push the Button

We moved offices today.

All of our floors are slowly but surely having a refurbishment. My team is now sitting on one of the redone floors. It feels like we are in a call centre or something similar. Just rows upon rows of desks as far as the eye can see, white walls and cupboard leverywhere.

All very strange.

They have also built us a kitchen area which is going down a storm.

The most entertaining bit is the fact that there is one tap which gives you cold drinking water and boiling water for teas or coffees instantaneously.

This has proved hysterical as it took a good 20 minutes before we figured out how to get the boiling water out.

Some of the greatest minds in Television - well Execs and the like - standing around this tap desperately trying to make it work.

Eventually they figured out that you had to hold down the safety button before the water came out.

Most funny part? The instructions were on a sign right above the tap - no one had bothered to read them.

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Petty Games

So as you can establish I have been quite busy at work.

I've been getting in for around 0900ish and departing mostly between 1900 and 2000. When you combine this with no lunch break and constantly being on the go it lends to an incredibly exhausted Miss M who really does not feel like dealing with the general populous.

My boss has been in the office until 2230 most nights for the past week and I must admit that I have been feeling a bit guilty leaving earlier than her but you know what - I'm not paid as much as she is.

Last night, however, I really needed to get out on time to go meet Miss P who is in town for a bit. Our mutual friend was cooking a meal for us at home and Jailbait was coming to meet Miss P for the first time. 

I told my boss I needed to leave on the dot and she agreed.

At 1820 Jailbait got to my office and I went over to her to say goodbye

Miss M: Right Wallie, before I head out is there anything urgent that you need?

Wallie: Well there is this one thing, can you adjust all the changes in our studio schedule from the meeting and make sure that our final schedule is correct?

Miss M: Exceptionally annoyed Is this urgent for this evening?

Wallie: Not really, but I'd like it done so I know it is out of the way

Miss M: Breathes out Right now?

Wallie: Yes please Miss M

Now I swear she was only getting me to do it because she was pissed that I was leaving ON TIME. I wasn't even leaving early, actually screw that I was already leaving 20 minutes late - not even on time.

How petty is that? 

Getting me to do something that she doesn't need urgently - in fact she doesn't really need it for another week - purely just to have me stay in the office later to ruin my evening because hers obviously is ruined already.


I was an hour and 20 minutes late for dinner.

Monday, 1 September 2008

The pee-pee dance

Do you know what I hate the most about being insanely busy at work?

I never seem to get the chance to pee.

I desperately need to go to the toilet but something always keeps getting in the way.

And then I forget.

Then suddenly I've been desperate to go for about an hour and I think I'm going to wet my seat.

So I go in the direction of the toilet and someone hijacks me en-route.

Another 20 minutes.

This is getting stupid.