Vacant Position, apply please

Whilst I had an amazing holiday in Cape Town over the December time it did involve Jailbait and I no longer being friendly towards each other.

I thought it would destroy me but strangely enough I do not miss him. I think this is, in part, thanks to Lopz and her wonderful friends who have become my family over here, and also because he was a total pain in the arse quite frankly.

This has left me with an opening for a climbing partner.

There are so many criteria that it is actually quite a difficult position to fill.

1) Must be male
2) Must have hot body for me to stare at whilst he is climbing
3) He must be able to carry an intelligent conversation as the weather is so unpredictable here that you can end up spending the weekend trapped in each others company
4) His skills must exceed mine so I can learn from him
5) He must not have a girlfriend who will resent the time being spent with him
6) My "family" must like him - unlike Jailbait whom they hated

As you can see I am not asking for much.

Interviews have started but aren't going so well

Boy1
Positives
Greek God.
Am stunned in his presence

Negatives
Climbs like a lead footed dwarf
Unable to discuss economic crisis and doesn't get my jokes. (fair enough many have been known to stare blankly at me but I figure those who laugh are keepers)

Boy2
Positives
Exceptionally graceful climber
Makes me giggle and conversation flows

Negatives
Weighs less than me. Something about a man weighing less than me promotes eating disorders and suicide

Interview 3 is happening this evening.

Perhaps this one is a keeper?

Am also thinking that adrenalin rush could lead to sex with new partner?

Petty Games

So as you can establish I have been quite busy at work.

I've been getting in for around 0900ish and departing mostly between 1900 and 2000. When you combine this with no lunch break and constantly being on the go it lends to an incredibly exhausted Miss M who really does not feel like dealing with the general populous.

My boss has been in the office until 2230 most nights for the past week and I must admit that I have been feeling a bit guilty leaving earlier than her but you know what - I'm not paid as much as she is.

Last night, however, I really needed to get out on time to go meet Miss P who is in town for a bit. Our mutual friend was cooking a meal for us at home and Jailbait was coming to meet Miss P for the first time. 

I told my boss I needed to leave on the dot and she agreed.

At 1820 Jailbait got to my office and I went over to her to say goodbye

Miss M: Right Wallie, before I head out is there anything urgent that you need?

Wallie: Well there is this one thing, can you adjust all the changes in our studio schedule from the meeting and make sure that our final schedule is correct?

Miss M: Exceptionally annoyed Is this urgent for this evening?

Wallie: Not really, but I'd like it done so I know it is out of the way

Miss M: Breathes out Right now?

Wallie: Yes please Miss M

Now I swear she was only getting me to do it because she was pissed that I was leaving ON TIME. I wasn't even leaving early, actually screw that I was already leaving 20 minutes late - not even on time.

How petty is that? 

Getting me to do something that she doesn't need urgently - in fact she doesn't really need it for another week - purely just to have me stay in the office later to ruin my evening because hers obviously is ruined already.

*sighs*

I was an hour and 20 minutes late for dinner.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall ...

Living in London can be hard. I really only remember just how hard when I've spent some time away.

This past weekend I went to Northumberland with Jailbait to do some climbing and to visit my Uncle and cousins.

It was amazing.

The open space, the clean air, the villages and just the general peacefulness and isolation. I did not want to return last night.

Living in London you are just another nameless face on a crowded street. People push right passed you and don't even notice you or care about your story.

Out there people were greeting me in the street, waving at us as we drove passed and just made me feel more at home than an entire 3 and a half years of living in London has done.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in London but I can not see myself settling here for all of eternity. At the moment the work is good, the travel prospects are amazing and the opportunities that London hands to me are unmissable.

Living back in Cape Town there is no way I'd be working on an award winning television show, no way I'd be able to book a trip to Belgium last minute or a climbing holiday to Sardinia and no way I'd learn so much more about different cultures.

But London is not a home.

It is a means to an end.

Though one does have to start asking - How long am I going to continue this means? What is the maximum time that I can see myself living in this city before I start to lose my soul?

I sometimes dream about moving out to the countryside. I can see myself living in a stone farmhouse, couple of children, baking, pottering outside in my wellies and waving hello to the neighbours as they wander into the village.

I wake up and I can't decide if it is a nightmare or a fantasy.

One thing is for sure though - I am going to have to start considering seriously what my time frame for London living is.

Perhaps I could move out to Canada for a bit, experience life there. Or I could pack up and go live in the French countryside for a year, brush up on my French and experience life in that degree.

Or I could become some high powered Television Executive for a major Network and spend my life in the office and then traveling home via a chauffeured car to my Holland Park townhouse where my child will have been put to bed by the nanny not even realising that their Mother was not home to read them a bedtime story.

I wonder what version I'll become.

140 metres up with a rope

Well I made it back alive.

Just barely. I was so tired that I had to take yesterday off too and spent the day collapsed on the couch staring at the TV in a completely dreamlike state. I think I managed to drank my sorry arse into the shower at about 5pm so that the housemates were not subjected to a dirty and smelly Miss M.

10 days of camping and climbing did not make me appealing on either the eyes or the nose.

The climbing was amazing. I achieved so much personally (and even managed to get a bit of a tan!) that it was definitely worth the money and the adventure.

I did a 140 metre multi pitch climb with Jailbait. Yes folks Miss M actually managed to climb that high along with stopping at different belay points whilst Jailbait climbed the next pitch and set up the belay for me.

However at about 135 metres it all got a bit too much for poor lil ol me and my irrational fear of heights kicked in.

Miss M: I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

Jailbait: It's ok, we're just going to hold you here for about 5 minutes whilst we sort out the anchor and then I'll haul you up ok?

Miss M: Panicked breathing and on the verge of tears Talk to me Jailbait.

Jailbait: About what?

Miss M: Screaming ANYTHING!!!

Moment of silence whilst Jailbait considers what to talk about.

Jailbait: The view is beautiful isn't it?

Ok. So you're partner is having a panic attack about the height. Do you REALLY point out to her about how beautiful the view is from that point?

Wait it gets better.

Miss M: Sobbing Something else!!!! Anything else!!!!!

Jailbait: Hey Miss M, have you noticed that we're so high up that the birds are actually flying below us?

Well I kind of lost it at that moment.

I eventually got hauled up to the top and stood for a couple of minutes clutching the rock sobbing. Eventually I gained up the courage to look over the edge - and yes folks, the view was beautiful.

Then it was time to abseil down. Strangely enough I was ok with that.

The rest of the climbing was quite sedate in comparison but equally challenging each in their own way. I don't think I have ever had so much exercise on holiday ever before.

I'm not impressed with being back at work. I am fighting all attempts by my colleagues to actually get me to do any work. My body might be at this desk but my mind is still back in the sparking blue waters of Sardinia whilst I leisurely snorkel around the colourful fish.

*sighs*

I hate coming home.

Out of hiding

Sorry I've been AWOL for a couple of days. We had a bank holiday here on Monday so no work and then yesterday I spent almost 4 hours at the Accident and Emergency clinic due to a climbing injury I incurred over the weekend.

Not worry - all is fine. I just managed to strain my calf muscle and can't walk properly. Jailbait is extremely worried as we were supposed to go away again this weekend and keeps phoning me in panic regarding this.

Personally I think my ability to walk is more important than him missing a climbing trip.

What you think?

My boss isn't too keen on the idea of me climbing at all.

Miss M: It isn't that bad, I just can't walk properly.

Gay Manager: Miss M you are banned from climbing for the next two months, I don't think I could survive without you!

I suppose that is quite a compliment isn't it? However it won't stop me from climbing! As soon as this leg is better and I'm back up and running I will conquer that 30 metre wall that eluded me this weekend.

Yes I know, I'm insane.

I almost throttled a Director today.

He kicked up a fuss about having to stop by the office to collect a piece of camera kit on his way back to the location up north this afternoon.

Director: Snide tone I just really love doing your job on my day off Miss M

Miss M: Very slowly What do you mean "doing my job?"

Director: Having to collect and deliver things

Miss M: Pissed off tone Well I'm not going to (location) and you are so we thought we'd save ourselves £85 by getting you to quickly stop by here before getting on your train. Is there a problem?

Director: Sulky tone I just don't like being made to feel like a lackey.

A LACKEY? IS THAT WHAT HE THINKS I AM?

I don't understand why so many Directors act like spoilt children.

And are way too full of themselves for their own good.