Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Vacant Position, apply please

Whilst I had an amazing holiday in Cape Town over the December time it did involve Jailbait and I no longer being friendly towards each other.

I thought it would destroy me but strangely enough I do not miss him. I think this is, in part, thanks to Lopz and her wonderful friends who have become my family over here, and also because he was a total pain in the arse quite frankly.

This has left me with an opening for a climbing partner.

There are so many criteria that it is actually quite a difficult position to fill.

1) Must be male
2) Must have hot body for me to stare at whilst he is climbing
3) He must be able to carry an intelligent conversation as the weather is so unpredictable here that you can end up spending the weekend trapped in each others company
4) His skills must exceed mine so I can learn from him
5) He must not have a girlfriend who will resent the time being spent with him
6) My "family" must like him - unlike Jailbait whom they hated

As you can see I am not asking for much.

Interviews have started but aren't going so well

Boy1
Positives
Greek God.
Am stunned in his presence

Negatives
Climbs like a lead footed dwarf
Unable to discuss economic crisis and doesn't get my jokes. (fair enough many have been known to stare blankly at me but I figure those who laugh are keepers)

Boy2
Positives
Exceptionally graceful climber
Makes me giggle and conversation flows

Negatives
Weighs less than me. Something about a man weighing less than me promotes eating disorders and suicide

Interview 3 is happening this evening.

Perhaps this one is a keeper?

Am also thinking that adrenalin rush could lead to sex with new partner?

9 comments:

kyknoord said...

"...a total pain in the arse quite frankly.
Bummer.

The Divine Miss M said...

Hae hardy har har.

po said...

Most male climbers have eating disorders themselves. My bf wanted to have surgery to reduce the muscles in his legs cos he figured they were too heavy for climbing. For real. Climbers are an odd odd breed.

Elise said...

Fatten up No.2! He sounds great, keep him. I hope no.3 goes well. Make sure you update us xx

The Divine Miss M said...

@po - Interesting. Your boyfriend sounds like he needs a shrink.

Or a leg transplant.

@elise - *sighs* Climbing partners are so hard to replace!

Grrrrr

Lopz said...

Ooooh, how was number three? Good enough to invite for some serious mauling on Saturday night? Aaah, I'm glad we filled the hole that Jailbait left hun. With all this hole filling going on, perhaps we should call ourselves The Donuts.

The Divine Miss M said...

I fill the hole, you fill the hole, basically there is no hole ;)

No, unfortunately climbing boys just do not seem to be the way to go. They are just so obsessed with ...

Climbing

... Who knew?

happy snapper said...

Ha ha ha! "Climbs like a lead footed dwarf" ! I nearly peed in my pants.

well I hope number 3 fits the required profile...and likes more tan just...climbing.

The Divine Miss M said...

@happy snapper - I'd pay to watch a lead footed dwarf climb actually. Would be entertaining ...

No such luck, I am still looking!