Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Always look on the bright side of life

I must apologise for my recent current bad moods and general listlessness, this can be attributed to one of my housemates and her constant negative mood.

It really is starting to affect me in so many ways.

1) I don't want to come home at night if I know she is home and my other housemate is not

2) It is making me uncomfortable in my own home as she barely talks at all and when she does she just moans

3) She is just so negative about everything that it starts to bring me down too

4) It is starting to make me resent her and dislike her in general which is a pity cause we've been living together for almost 3 years really well.

Now I know she is going through a hard time. I know she is depressed. I know that she feels trapped in London and really wants to go to Australia. I know that she is lonely as many of her friends have left London.

I know all of this.

But what I don't know or can't get is why she isn't trying to do anything about it.

You aren't happy in your life? You try to make it better. You're lonely? You pick up a hobby and try to meet people. You hate your job? You start actively looking for a new one. You're depressed? You don't go out drinking and getting absolutely hammered 3 or 4 times a week as that just generally does not help with depression.

Hang on, if you can afford to go out on the piss 3 or 4 times a week how can you complain about being broke? Just put that money aside and I'm sure in a couple of months you'd have enough for a plane ticket to Aus - just sort out the rest in the mean time.

I can't stand people who don't actively try and better their lives. It drives me mental. I want to slap her. Hard. I want her to stop complaining and moaning about everything and actually get off of her arse and do something about it.

Otherwise I might kill her.

Housemate: Oh god, I can't believe this weather. It just upsets me so much. I can't stand rain. I hate it. Man this country is just so crap!

Miss M: Oi, we can't do anything about the weather so don't let it get to you! There is plenty to do even when it is raining.

Housemate: Ya but I just want to go surfing and I can't. I hate it. I hate this place. There is nothing to do.

Miss M: You can surf, just go to Cornwall. There is loads of surfing there.

Housemate: It's too expensive. I can't afford it. I hate my job. I don't make enough money.


Housemate: Whatever

I. Really. Might. Kill. Her.


KaB said...

eish...i'm like you in that i also find a way to make that change needed rather than sit back & complain about it! Why not do (very little) research of air tickets or work or just general stuff, some easy calculations, to help her along & chuck it at her one night telling her to get a move on because you're about to chuck her on out of your life, bit dramatic but she sounds like a royal pain in the bottom! Nothing like a bit of honesty to help a person along!

The Chronicles of a Fashionista in PDX said...

You know some people are just born negative. I feel the same way about a current friend of mine that I've known for seven years! She's just so bossy and negative about work.

So, last week, during my PMSing mode, I snapped at her. I just have had it! But this week I feel resentment, because I do love her and stuff. However, we're not really talking, so I feel really terrible at the moment.

But sometimes....Yeah, I feel you... sometimes I want to wring her neck. LOL

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Uh-oh...we need to find a way so that you DON'T kill her...I'm not sure they'll allow blogging in prison...pen pals yes, blogging No.

Ok... she needs to be on prozac. No I'm sorry...Ok, I'm thinking...
maybe you should tell her that life isn't so bad, she's healthy, has a roof over her head, she actually has a job and that people are hungry, dying and friendless.

I reckon you should be honest with her...maybe she doesn't realise she's fallen into a rut of being so negative...your delicate tact might make her realise!
It's been 3 years...she's obviously never been like this for the entire time so maybe she's in a rut and doesn't know it.

Super M (hahaha...that's a milkshake here...mmm....chocolate...sorry)to the rescue!!!
*Oh sheesh, just read this comment! I'm going to take my meds now!*

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Your house mate sounds as if she is playing the game called “I want. I can’t. Try and make me.” If you play it with her, it is a no-win situation for you. Do your best to ignore her whining.

Depression is terrible. However, most folks who are seriously depressed don’t play the “I want. I can’t. Try and make me.” Game. The seriously depressed seldom get to the stage of even wanting to do anything. And, they usually don’t even realize that they are depressed.

If she is depressed, she needs to consider getting professional help rather than going surfing.

That’s my two cents worth, for whatever it’s worth!

KaB said...

Why not give her the number for the local AA?!?

The Divine Miss M said...

Hey guys

The good news is that when I got home tonight we actually managed to have a decent conversation. She admitted the fact that she is really grumpy and horrid to be around and she said that she didn't really know what to do about it.

I asked her if she wanted to go and speak to a professional and she didn't really seem keen on the idea - doesn't like the idea of people knowing about that. But we did talk about the merits of it and I hope she decides to look into it.

We were talking about things that she can do to try make herself happier.

So I'm hoping that she might try and take action.

@kab - I couldn't do that really, she isn't in a good state :(

@pdx - So true, negative people drive me mental. Awww dont let a stupid fight ruin your friendship!

@blondie - Yey, we did have a conversation along those lines. I'm hoping she realises things! :)

@nick - You're so right, people who REALLY are depressed often don't realise and don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. It's horrid. She probably is just wanting attention and everything handed to her on a plate without actually having to do anything :(

@Kab - Cheeky ;)

Meghan said...

Sounds like an energy vampire. Be the good roomie you have been doing and offer helpful suggestions (going for walks, a new hobby, etc) but don't let her drag you down!

sweets said...

hope she does something about her situation soon... first rule of adulthood i learnt:

if you don't help yourself, nobody else will either.

very basic, but very true! hope she get's herself together, life is too short :)

The Divine Miss M said...

@meghan - I'm trying really hard! Will just keep trying

@sweets - So true. She's 28, you'd think she'd have figured this out by now ...

The Blonde Blogshell said...

uh- oh...she hasn't found your blog has she??

The Divine Miss M said...

@blondie - Naah don't worry. She isn't interested in it!

happy snapper said...

AAh Shame Miss M! That really isnt cool to come home too. I had a friend who used to be very negative all the time too. I oculdnt deal with it anymore, and eventually told her she was making me depressed too. The good thing is, she got her act together and wotnot. She's a different person, and Im so happy for her. I hope your housemate does the same.....BEFORE you kill her ;)