Strange Behaviour

This morning an Executive Producer brought a baby into our office. Big mistake.

Have you ever seen a flock of seagulls rushing over to claim a piece of bread which has been thrown to them? Well this resembled that very scenario. Woman screeching, woman grabbing, some more screeching and the poor baby being passed around whilst these woman shower it with love and affection.

The part that interested me the most however was after the baby had left the building, the conversations between the woman who moments before had all lost ability to communicate in human speech and resorted to the lowest form of baby talk.

Colleague 1: He wasn't very cute was he?

Colleague 2: I never know what to do with babies, they just sit there.

Colleague 3: You wouldn't be able to work with one would you?

Colleague 4: I don't know, I think that you could. You'd definitely have a nanny to take care of the child, I mean I couldn't do it myself.

Colleague 2: I don't think that I want children, I just wouldn't want anything to interfere in the lifestyle I have now. Reg and I can spend our hard earned money as we please and don't need to worry about supporting anything. Plus holidays would be hard with a kid.

From what I gather TV Creative woman aren't very maternal, or else they are just so career obsessed that a child seems to be a hindrance. The level of sucking up to the Exec made me laugh though because they were fawning over the kid like it was the second coming of Jesus - I wonder if the Exec has a Nanny?

Such a Klutz

I embarrassed myself severely this morning.

Was feeling too lazy to walk into Wombletown so when I saw the bus this morning I ran for it before it rudely left without me. I reached it in time but as I stepped onto it something went wrong with my co-ordination and I fell flat on my face into the bus.

Driver: Concern etched on his face Are you alright?

Miss M: Picks herself back up again Ye, ye, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about

Taps her Oyster Card and moves into the bus

Passenger 1: Are you okay?

Miss M: Fine thanks

Passenger 2: Shame that looked sore, you sure you're fine?

Miss M: Really I'm alright, wasn't as bad as it looked

Passenger 3: That looked like it hurt, you ok?

Miss M: Yes.

Passenger 4: Didn't break anything did you?

Miss M: Narrows her eyes No I didn't.

For crying out loud! The bus isn't that big, can't you hear the very first time I'M FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

As if it wasn't humiliating enough there was the most gorgeous guy standing on the bus who smirked at me.

Bleh.

Overheard in the Elevator 3

Just minding my own business making my way to my floor when ...

Male 1: Show going well?

Male 2: Ye, going really well thanks

Male 1: Got any shoots coming up?

Male 2: Got one tomorrow actually, we're filming a birth in an airplane. Lots of blood. Should be good.

Male 1: Wicked

Male 2: Though we've got some actors coming in for 1 liners, hopefully they won't say too much

Male 1: Mmmhh

Miss M gets off at her floor

Blood? I wonder how they reenact that ...

Director: Okay, we need to see lots of blood gushing now, can someone please bring on the actor and make sure she is bleeding enough. If not would someone please make the incisions deeper, I need to see lots of blood people! Work with me here!

Haha, I wouldn't put that past some TV directors.

Colleague Entertainment

So yesterday my colleague took a big step in her personal life. She has been seeing this guy for about 7 weeks and yesterday she changed her facebook status to “in a relationship”. Now I don’t know how many of you use facebook but I swear that program has opened up whole new relationship stress that none of us needs. Within 10 minutes of her doing so she received about 6 wall posts and further messages from people demanding to know what/where/who/why. She even received a message from said guy’s housemate going “oh wow, so you guys are official now, I didn’t know that, congratulations”. This was proceeded by complete panic stations from the colleague as the sudden worry that perhaps the said guy didn't assume they were in a relationship.

Colleague: We've been seeing each other for about 7 weeks now, and spent a couple of full weekends together, what does that mean?

Miss M: *talks without thinking* Well have you had THE DISCUSSION?

Colleague: Oh my god, no not really. Do you think he doesn't think we're in a relationship? I mean if he did think we were I'm sure he would have told the housemate. What if he doesn't think we are and I've just posted it for the world? Oh my god, he might dump me. But can he dump me if we're not together? Are we together?

Miss M: Breathe, didn't he say you're coming to his family lunch in a couple of weeks? That's relationshippy

Colleague: You're right. You wouldn't invite a random shag to a family event. Wow, I'm going to meet the family, that's big.

Miss M: Well that clears it up.

*tries to do her work*

Colleague: But what if he didn't want people to know we were together?

Miss M: Why would he want that?

Colleague: Because we're not dating?

Miss M: But if you weren't why would he want you to meet his parents?

*attempts to slit her wrists with the plastic knife from lunch*

Damn facebook for getting me involved in my colleagues lives. Okay so it was rather entertaining.

They apparently had THE DISCUSSION last night and they are in a relationship and he was fine about the facebook status. He did however say "Check with me before you change it to married ok?"

That opened up a whole new can of worms today let me tell you!

Conversation 6

I was lucky enough today to be party to a new game that TV people seem to be playing at the moment.

Miss M innocently sitting and eating her lunch in the cafeteria with a few people from another show

Colleague 1: Right, perfume or pop rock candy?

Colleague 2: Oh man! Either of those are terrible!

Colleague 1: Well you have to choose. If you were being tortured* which of the two would you prefer?

Colleague 2: Umm ... hmm .. ok ... umm ... I'm going to go for the pop rock.

Laughter all round

Colleague 2: Ok, now which would you prefer; sharp stick or a heated up rock?

Colleague 1: That's just cruel!

Colleague 2: Choose!

Colleague 1: Sharp stick.

Ok, now can anyone guess what game they're playing?

Didn't think so.

It's called: What Would You Rather Have Stuck in Your Eye?

*Can anyone think of a form of torture where they stick either of those items in your eye?! Would be a fantastic new one though
Man: No, not the poprock! I can't take the popping noise! Noo!!!! I give in! I'll tell you all my secrets! Just not the poprock!

Dirty Little Secret

So at the moment I am working on a very well known, high profile English reality show which you can pretty much guarantee everyone in the UK knows - except I've never watched it in my life. I can not decide if this is good or bad, in fact most of the shows that we make I don't want watch and for some reason I feel really guilty about it, like I am not supporting my company or something like that.

I lie too.

Production Manager: Did you watch the finale of x last night?

Miss M: Bits and pieces, I was cooking dinner through it

Production Manager: Can you believe x won?

Miss M: I KNOW! How brilliant was that

Thinking to herself - I have no idea who you're talking about

Production Manager: It wasn't as good as previous years but I think it still was very enjoyable.

Miss M: Definitely, I watched the last one but couldn't really get into this one

Liar liar pants on fire, you've never watched a full episode, probably about 3 minutes once and then you got bored

With my new show I don't know when is the right time to tell someone that I have never actually watched an episode, or even a few minutes out of one. I lied in my interview too.

Miss M: I love this show so much, it would be fantastic to work on, a real opportunity to help make a show that I love and religiously watch! (I did do some research into it in case they tried to trick with me with questions)

Translation: Hmm ... maybe this year I won't completely take the piss out of it but I sure as hell won't be watching!

Maybe it is because I always seem to end up working on reality shows and for me those are the worst shows on television to watch so I avoid them all like the plague. Maybe I always end up on them as the British public like them so much that most shows made here are reality based somehow.

Maybe it will work in my favour as I won't be all star struck with the celebrities on the show.

Maybe I'll have to eventually let my little dirty secret out.

Maybe I'll just fake it for the entire run of the show ...

Drawing a blank

Today someone added me as a friend on facebook; now I have a rule where I won't accept you unless I know you so I emailed her and asked where I knew her from. I got a reply telling me that she went to primary school with me and then the last two years of high school and how can I not remember her.

I can't.

I am drawing a total blank. Complete and total blank.

I feel like such a bad person but was she so unmemorable that my brain has just decided that I never knew her? How can I completely forget someone? And it was only 7 years ago! Am I getting old? What is going on here?

Tears her hair out

Conversation 5

I have this truly terrible habit of only half listening to people, or tuning in to conversations at the incorrect and inopportune moment - as demonstrated below

Miss M vaguely doing some work whilst her colleagues natter around her

Colleague 1: I'd get to have sex and make money, could it get any better?

Miss M: Umm ... I've missed something here haven't I?

Sticks her head back into her work and decides to leave her colleagues to discuss become prostitutes. That is almost as mad as snorting vodka!

Urban Slang

I learnt two new things today which will leave me forever scarred. I do pride myself on being kept up to date on "the lingo" but there are just some things that either slip right past me or I ignore blatantly in the hopes that I never accidentally discover them, or if I do I can pretend that I never knew about them.

The Amazing Madam Zelka ruined that for me today and opened my eyes to two things I need not ever have known about.

Salad Tossing
To Toss someones salad is to explore the anal cavity (clean or dirty) whatever your fancy, and gyrate your tongue is a circular licking motion in on, and around the anus, rimming with such affection in the "Salad" - hence the term "Toss my Salad"

London Fog Horn
When a woman is preforming the art of "salad tossing" and one's self relieves himself by releasing an excrement of his own natural gas (farts) into her mouth. Usually preforming the London Fog Horn will leave the recipient in an irate state of mind and has been know to lead to a violent reaction.

Words have failed me.

Why?! Why?! Why?!

Conversation 4

Colleague 1: I swear my friends think that all we do all is drink vodka and snort coke

Colleague 2: Well we don't do it ALL the time

Colleague 1: I know! But try to explain that to them

Miss M: How about drinking coke and snorting vodka?

*silence*

Colleague 1: I wonder what that would be like?

Miss M: I'll buy the vodka and you can snort it

Colleague 2: Hmmmm

Colleague 1: It is Friday!

Miss M: You guys are sick ....

Insult

I got insulted by an elevator today. It told me I was fat.

All I did was try and enter the lift to go and get some lunch but no, on the screen it said OVERLOADED - TOO HEAVY as soon as I entered and refused to move. Everyone stared at me and I swear the lift sniggered. After 3 seconds of silence (which felt like 3 hours) I stepped out of the lift and there was an audible sigh of relief as the doors shut and the lift moved on.

I could still hear it laughing at me.

It brought all those memories of being insulted by my cellphone when I was 18; whenever I looked at the screen it plastered the word VIRGIN on it for all to see. And people wonder why I didn't just lose my virginity but eradicated it instead. It was all that name calling from the cellphone.

Fakeships part 2

This morning our fakeships went one step too far.

Miss M gets up from her desk

Miss M: Just popping to the loo

Fakefriend: Oh I need to go too; hold up a sec

Miss M: Ooookkaaaayyy

Fleeting panic accross her face as they walk towards the toilet together. As they get inside and enter their respective cubicles Miss M prays that they stop talking, but are her prayers answered?

Fakefriend: Blah blah blah blah blah blah

Miss M: uh huh

Fakefriend: Blah blah blah blah blah

Miss M: Ya ....

And so it continued until they returned to their desk

Now I don't know about you guys but I get stage fright and seem to be incapable of peeing when someone is talking to me from the stall next door. There is something strange about this and it feels like a large invasion of privacy. Plus I don't even know this person, why should we already be such good friends that we pee together?!

AARRRGGG

Pure Frustration

I want to share with you all that I just got offered a free ticket to the South Africa vs England match tomorrow evening if I can get myself to Paris. But I can't. Unfortunately Television doesn't pay me enough each month to warrant dropping £350 on a ticket to Paris plus accommodation and food on top of that.

They are single handedly destroying my dreams.

Fakeships

Those of you who work in the media will know how fake and plastic the people can be in this truly lovely industry. In TV it can be even worse since you all work on contracts for as long as the show runs which can range between 1 - 5 months depending on your position. To add to this there are many over the top personalities grouped together in a really small environment; it is hectic and intense to say the least. However actually making a worthwhile friendship out of this is next to impossible.

What seems to happen is that you bond quickly with your team over deadlines, annoying creatives, stress and general chaos but none of these friendships are "real" per say. After the show has finished you never really hear from that person, unless of course it is to see if you have any work available for them.

Now I have a problem with this as I can't handle these "fakeships" as they can be truly exhausting. Within a week you know all the inner working details of your teams lives along with personal details I don't even know about my close friends back home! You end up spending 80% of your day with them till late into the night, you share how the job is slowly destroying your personal life and on Friday's you go out and get pissed together and take the mickey out of the creatives.

On my new job I'm finding it rather hard to get into this "fakeship" thing with my colleagues as I'm the last person to start. They've already covered everything and are giggling together, going off for lunch each day and regaling each other about their weekend activities. In fact two of my colleagues have even taken to spending weekends together now as if our working hours are not enough! Today they looked at me strangely because instead of gossiping in the cafeteria for lunch I wanted to sit in the park reading my book in the small gap of sunshine we had. Apparently I'm not making enough effort to make these two my new best friends. Why bother if it is only going to be for 3 months? Plus I feel so left out when I do join them for lunch because they've got this whole "fakeship" thing down pat and I really don't know how to break in to their rituals and jokes.

I miss my old team. I'm thinking I could phone them and meet them for lunch, but that could be breaking the rules of the "fakeships"

Overheard in the Elevator 2

Standing in the lift looking at an advertisement for the Rugby World Cup

Girl 1: You know rugby players are quite strange

Girl 2: Why?

Girl 1: Well they are quite gorgeous and all ...

Girl 2: Oh yes!

Girl 1: But they're all rugby, rugby, rugby, rugby

Miss M gets out at a random floor to dissolve into fits of giggles. What would you rather have them all about love? Shoes? Makeup?

I do love pretending to listen to my Ipod in the elevator

G.T.D.S.B.S Syndrome*

*GOING TO DO SOMETHING A BIT SILLY syndrome

I'm reading this fantastic book at the moment (check it out on What am I Reading) and I came across this lovely acronym. It really does aptly describe what my life entails of mostly. I go out, have a couple of drinks and then have a conversation in my head**

Miss M: Hmm ... wouldn't it be funny if I yanked that girls g-string which is hanging out of her trousers?

Inner Monologue: No I don't think she'd appreciate it

Miss M: Oh come on, it would be sooooooo funny!

Inner Monologue: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Miss M: Just one quick yank, she'll never know it was me (moves in closer)

Inner Monologue: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Miss M: Ah screw you!

**Not this is not THE constant conversation, I do not have an obsession with girls g-strings but I have had this one in my head

The end result is that I make a complete fool out of myself and retire home completely humiliated by my actions. I wish we could just avoid this syndrome completely but week after week, sober or drunk, we all end up doing something completely silly.

I wonder if Ashrita Furman of the US realised he was partaking in this syndrome when he decided to unicycle 85.5 kilometres BACKWARDS in the US on the 16th September 1994. Ok so he does have a Guinness World Record ... but isn't that just a bit silly?***

Or how about how when though my cellphone is right next to me at my desk, I haven't left my desk and the phone hasn't made a single noise I still feel the compulsion to double check that there are no messages or missed calls.

He still hasn't called. I think I might G.T.D.S.B.S

***It appears that he was trying to beat Akira Matsushima of Japan who unicycled a distance of 5,244 kms in 1992. Since he couldn't beat that he decided to do it backwards. HA TAKE THAT!

Worrying weekend

I am slightly perturbed as I think I possibly am turning into a man. Not visually of course but I suddenly realised what I did the whole weekend and who with and I am worried.

Friday saw me watching Argentina VS France (Bloody good game by the way) with The Amazing Madam Zelka, his girlfriend and their friend who was way too touchy feeling. I still felt slightly girly because I drank yummy cocktails out of fancy glasses (It's the small things I tell you)

Saturday was spent with Gem, her Lovely Boyfriend, FirePoiBoi and Fligela at a rock climbing centre. Now this was amazing and I really enjoyed it. I managed to climb a 13 metre high wall and only fell once! Of course being held up by The Lovely Boyfriend by a harness did help matters but Gem and I are completely addicted and looking forward to going again next weekend. In fact we've even gone so far as to look at buying climbing shoes and a harness!

Sunday I watched the rugby with the boys (GO SOUTH AFRICA) and then played poker with them late into the evening.

This is all rather worrying, why am I not out gossiping about men, buying clothing, painting my nails and bitching about other girls .... I suppose I see enough of that at work ....

Dress Code

Some of us have to adhere to a specific dress code at work but I am lucky and work in an environment where I can wear just about anything to work that I chose ... and unfortunately some people seem to take that a small step too far.

This morning I saw a gentleman standing in the reception of our office wearing (I am not joking) purple trousers, pink shirt, yellow tie and white trainers. He had carefully styled black hair and was wearing a pair of wire framed glasses. Now is there some sort of fashion memo that I missed out on where you're supposed to wear clashing colours or does he not have a mirror available? On my way from the tube I saw an absolutely beautiful woman looking as if she had just stepped out of a Moulin Rouge show; not if she hadn't been carrying a briefcase I might of thought she actually had ... J and I were having lunch last week and we actually saw a girl wearing a pair of trousers that could have been easily been mugged from Aladdin.

This appears to be the difference between the Production team and the Creative team; looking at my office this morning all of the Production staff are wearing no nonsense jeans and tops or skirts and tops with perhaps a couple of necklaces thrown in for good measure BUT the creatives!!! It is like cat walk high fashion going on. Are they competing? It's like their some sort of multi coloured peacocks strutting their stuff ... *sigh*

Miss M is glad that she is a Production team member, my version of getting dressed for work in the morning is to pull something from my wardrobe; sniff to make sure it is clean, eye herself in the mirror to make sure it is vaguely matching and then throw on some mascara and stumble at the door.

I think I missed the fashion memo growing up ....

Rules of Commuting

9) Please do not eat next to me. Early morning smells of fatty bacon sandwiches or you special breakfast is not tolerable and in the evenings I'm hungry enough already and desperate to get home and eat that I might just try and steal it.

Song Lyrics

MrsM has got Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry song stuck in her head - has anyone realised how stupid this song is?

"I'm going to miss you like a child misses their blanket"

?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

What other truly bad song lyrics can you think of? My personal favourite one is by 50 cents

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake"

haha. How romantic.

Rules of Commuting

There is this group on facebook called "I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head"; now for me this is not secretive. I mutter, hiss, throw my eyes around, glare and generally walk on the back of the heels of these slow people.

I mean REALLY! If you are travelling during rush hour commuting times in London please do NOT walk at a snails pace. Tourists should be banned from using the tube between the hours of 7-10am and 5-8pm during the week. They annoy me.

So from one girl who commutes that horrid route every day to all those others out there please can you obey these basic rules?

1) Do NOT stand on the left hand side of the escalator - this is reserved for the many of us who wish to walk up/down in order to get home as quick as possible

2) Coming to a standstill in front of the ticket turnstiles and then searching for your travel card whilst a queue forms behind you is not good protocol - PLEASE have it in hand before approaching the entrance/exit

3) When you do get to the front of the queue to buy your ticket please do not get confused with the money and argue with the ticket seller over the exchange rate/price. Quickly ask for you ticket, pay and leave.

4) Dragging wheelie suitcases behind you during rush hour is just stupid. And dangerous.

5) Yes we are all pressed up against each other but this is not an excuse to feel my arse.

6) Stand on either side of the door to allow people to exit as quick as possible. Do not block their exit or my entry as this just confuses things and I REALLY want to get home.

7) I do not want to talk to you. Mornings are not a happy place. Silence is golden.

8) When I sigh with frustration because of a delay on the track due to someone throwing themselves in front of the train please remember that this is because I encounter it way too often and not because I am a heartless bitch.

Be Proud

So today, at 1730pm, I finally removed Boy with Girlfriend from my MSN contacts. Yesterday I deleted his phone number from my phone along with all all of his emails.

Unfortunately I neglected to mention to him that I was doing this before I got rid of all the contacts for him but we'll see if he even notices that his "Other Woman" has disappeared.

*sigh*

Overheard in the Elevator

Boy1: Oh Frank I found the elf suit

Boy2: Fantastic

Boy1: Do you want to come up to the office and grab it later?

Boy2: Definitely. Roger will be so happy, he has a thing for elves

Boy1: (Getting out at his floor) Wicked, see you soon

Now one can only hope that this is a costume for a show and not his strange sex life!!!

Fun games on Public Transport

Has anyone ever played the "I'm sure I know you from somewhere" eye catching game? I had the entertaining joy of engaging in it last night on my commute home.

Gets onto her tube and notices a relatively good looking guy sitting a couple of seats away from her - decides to play the eye catching game

1) Initial first eye contact for about 3 seconds

Hmm ... I think I recognise him from somewhere

2) Quickly dart eyes back over and find him watching me

Oh shit I really do recognise him now where the hell is it from?

3) Attempt to surreptitiously let eyes wander back over to him and examine him without him seeing

BUGGER HE'S WATCHING ME NOW

4) One more attempt at looking at him

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! I snogged him a few months ago on a drunken night out!! What do I do?!!!

Now this is the entertaining part of the game; do you say hello or do you chicken out and get off at the next stop pretending like you live there?

I decided to take the chicken route; suspend all eye contact; stare out the window and then hurriedly get off at my stop praying that he doesn't live anywhere near me.

London sometimes can be too small

Just Wondering

So I stumbled across this article earlier, yes yes I know I have too much time on my hands but things haven't kicked off here yet, and I was wondering if anyone had any examples of workplace violence?

Hmm .. I wonder if me hitting The Director over the head with a blunt object would fit under that headline?

Meeting Men

Working in television has it's many perks but one of the downsides is that it is near to impossible to meet a man. Why is this you ask? Well the majority of them seem to be gay. I don't know if this is because you need to be a catty superior bitch to work in TV or if it is just because all creative and intelligent men are gay?

And if you are straight and happen to work in TV you are snapped up in record time because it really is such a rarity.

Christmas and Wrap parties are the worst; do you know how cringworthy it is watching a bunch of inebriated woman scan the crowd looking for a victim, be too drunk to realise or care that they are gay, and to rub themselves suggestively up against them. It leads to very amusing and embarrassing stories the next day when the photographs are brought out and they suddenly remember trying to shove their tongue down the blatantly obvious camp gay man.

So what does this leave me with; City Boys? Testosterone filled builders? Sleezy Sales men? Nerdy IT boys?

I think I might stick to hot gay men ...

Small Thrills

There is nothing better than walking up to the elevator, pressing the button, having one arrive immediately and then taking you straight down or up to your floor without any interruptions.

Ah ... I live for the small pleasures in life

Sadistic Torture

Now which evil man invented the gym? I say man because no woman would willingly choose to go and inflict masses of amounts of torture on herself with machines that look as if they belong in a Steven Spielberg alien invasion film. We prefer to be at home eating chocolate, or perhaps taking a gentle soothing bath with lavender oil, or even engaging in an all night drinking marathon. (The latter most likely being me)

Nothing in this world prepares you for an evening at the gym; the beautiful bodies posing in the full length mirrors (which are under florescent lighting JUST to make me feel worse), the sweating, the pain, the paranoid feeling that everyone is staring at you and sniggering under breath and last but not least the pure exhaustion as you try to stumble back to your home after a major work out session.

Last night I went to my local gym for my boxing class and this morning I am very sore. I hurt, in places that I didn't even know it was possible to hurt. Granted it was fun and perving over the hot instructor was even better BUT Miss M should learn that trying to chat him up whilst I'm sweating like a pig with my wet hair plastered to my bright red face and breathing remarkably heavily, and not in a sexy way, is probably not the best way to attempt to pick him up.

Oh well, I'll try harder next time

Mistaken searches

There must be some disappointed people out there who are searching for the following but find me instead

The Adventures of Miss AP

Hahaha - well at least it's upping readership ;)

Saturday's braai

We decided to host a braai this past Saturday at our humble abode. I'm quite impressed that braai'ing actually happen as we all got rather pissed before it was even lit. 15 people showed up and it really was nice just to chill out and catch up with everyone over a few drinks.

At this point I just want to say a massive thank you to FirePoiBoi for handling the braai like a true master and giving us lots of yummy food to eat ;)

9pm was when it got messy as we decided to descend on the local Walkabout and as we've read previously Miss M is not so good at holding her booze and not making a complete idiot out of herself.

All I will say is that I found myself being given a piggyback ride by a yummy English fellow at about 1am back to my house and having races with The Kat who was on FirePoiBoi's back. We then descended on the park across the road to watch FirePoiBoi give us a wonderful Fire Poi display - The Kat managed to burn herself AGAIN but since she can hardly remember I suppose it doesn't matter does it?

Hangover Sunday was not fun I must say ...

Friday night

I did have a rather entertaining weekend. Friday night was the end of my run on the documentary so I went out with my manager and a couple of members of another team for "Friday Night Drinks" - little did I know what these entailed ..

630pm - Come on Miss M stop pretending like you're working and go and socialise with everyone. Round of drinks bought

7pm - Prod Manager shows up and buys a round of drinks

720pm - Colleague shows up and buys a round of drinks

745pm - Another Colleague shows up and buys a round of drinks

8pm - Slightly pissed Miss M gets lost on the way to the toilet and meets funny woman who may or may not have been hitting on her

830pm - Miss M buys round of drinks (I know this due to the receipt in my wallet which was for an obscene amount of money for Friday night drinks)

9pm - Prod Manager thinks it would be funny for use to pour cheap vodka we have with us into soft drinks bought from the bar

902pm - Miss M smashes litre bottle of vodka on the floor

904pm - We nearly get thrown out but Miss M manages somehow to convince the manager we're legit

930pm - Someone else buys more drinks

10pm - Prod Manager drags us to her friends 30th at some bar in Clerkenwell

1047pm - Miss M SOMEHOW manages to drop her glass of Vodka and lemonade on the floor and remains just holding the straw

1049pm - Someone replaces Miss M's drink

11pm - Miss M decides to go home

Somewhere in between here I managed to find a tube station, get on a train which was going in the correct direction and get off at my stop - many thanks to the random stranger who woke me up just before I needed to get off even though I have no recollection of telling him

12pm - Miss M gets home and passes out

*Please note that times might not be 100% accurate

New start

Friday night saw the end of my run with my favourite Director as I now have officially started on a new show. Brand new desk with an amazing view of the Thames, new colleagues who so far seem nice and best of all a whole new creative team - who I have yet to meet actually but I'm sure that they can not be as bad as the previous one.

I did have a slightly amusing parting conversation with the Director on Friday evening

Director: I just wanted to say thank you for all of the hard work you've done on this show

Miss M: That's alright, no problem at all. We are here to make your life easier

Director: Well hopefully we can catch up for a drink soon, it would be so nice to see you outside of work.

Miss M: (Completely ignores the question) I'm so excited about starting on my new show

Director: I can imagine, we'll have to do drinks soon so I can hear all about it

Miss M: (Panics) Well I have to run, got some things to finish off before I leave.

Director: (Perhaps still not getting the point) Oh ok, well hopefully see you around

Perhaps the past 3 and a half months have just been a complete figment of my imagination? Did I not have to heed to his every single whim no matter how stupid they were? Did I not get all those phone calls on Saturday afternoons just to complain about things and to make my life difficult? Did he not constantly act superior to me in every way and make my life hell? I don't get it ... Perhaps I was living in an alternate universe. Oh well, NEXT!