Monday, 8 October 2007

What a job

In my job I really do get to do some strange things and very often I don't even get told the reason as to why I'm doing the specific task. Since we're not involved in developing the actual show we tend to be kept in the dark for as long as possible up until the point of actually having to make it happen. Here is an example of a task I recently had to do.

Miss M desperately trying to do 7 things at once before the end of the day

Line Manager: Miss M, would you like to do a really fun task for me?

Looks up very warily

Miss M: Suuuuuuure ....

Usually when someone says "fun" I immediately get worried as it tends to be completely arbitrary and takes a lot of effort.

Line Manager: Can you please look into finding any footage from past programs on television of anyone being shot out of a cannon

Miss M: Shot out of a cannon?

Line Manager: Yes, as in an human cannonball.

Miss M: Oookaaay ...

Line Manager: But can you please make sure that they are untrained people, preferably members of the public who do not do this as a profession.

You don't ask for much do you?


phillygirl said...

So, under the pretense of let's call it education. How exactly does one go about doing that or do you film-industry types have some sort of special Google-type search engine that'll skim thru all footage ever made for you and spit out a neatly edited list - oh if things could be so simple :)

The Divine Miss M said...

It involves a combination of google and speaking to the wonderful Film Archive man over here who does actually have an archive system like that for us specifically. Then you also phone the other major companies and speak to their Film Archive person with a lovely sweet girly voice without saying where you are from and then you basically just use your brain and search random things on google.

That one was very arb but usually they are easily solvable with a bit of patience and "out the box" thinking.

I did actually find some footage strangely enough ;)

Mrs said...

Geez. All in a day's work. Are you serious????

The Divine Miss M said...

Mrs - yes, plus plenty more. Hence why I'm here till 7/8pm a lot!

MsMozi said...

My boss does exactly the same thing - "Want a FUN new assignment?" - the answer is always NO! Either that or work out a way of not committing until you've established whether it really is fun.

Well done on locating the non-professional human cannonball footage!

Lopz said...

Ha ha, I had a good chuckle while reading this. For an advertising shoot I once had to find trained butterflies who would flutter through the shot on command. I know, it sounds unreal.. and it almost is. Turns out there is someone who handles butterfiles for film shoots, and he ties an almost invisible thread to the creature and so ends up dragging it whichever way its required to go. It's hard on the butterflies.. we got through 3 or 4 before they got the shot ;-p

The Divine Miss M said...

Omigod! Lopz that is hysterical! I love it!!!!!

They do say however, never work with children or animals ;)

sugar007 said...

Gosh, this brings back memories. I once had to do a 'fun' task which involved spending the whole day, watching the film crews parked vehicle in case of any traffic wardens. Because some cheap git did not want to fork out the money to the local council to cordon off the road. Make things worse I did not get paid but got a pizza for my troubles. That was really the point I knew this was not an industry for me. Boy the crap I had to do beggars belief!!

chitty said...

And I thought I worked with lunatics!
As a rule untrained ppl/members of the public do not usually shoot themselves out of cannonballs... not even for fun.
Although I can see some aspiring Evel Knievel living way down in American South (preferably Britney Spear's hometown) shooting himself out of a canon on a Sunday morning.
Nice one, Miss M.

The Divine Miss M said...

Sugar - that is so the lovely job that a Runner can be given. Thankfully I'm not one anymore but I've paid my dues! Yes this industry is not for the faint hearted

Chitty - I have a rocking job don't I?