Monday, 7 January 2008

I'm scarred for life

Today was my first day back at work in a month. It was hard getting out of bed.

The alarm clock rings

Miss M: What the fuck is that?

Sits up in a panic and stares around the room

Miss M: Jesus, seriously, make it shut up. Ah crap it's the alarm!

Contemplates throwing her phone against the wall

So after dragging myself up, showering and departing from the house I made it into the office for 945am. Only to be told that the Production Manager I was to help out was in an edit and would only be back in the office round 1130am. So I waited. And messed around. And waited. Even walked 15 minutes in the rain to meet a friend for lunch who then proceeded to decide that he would melt if the rain touched him and he bailed - so I walked the 15 minutes back cursing his name. The weenie. 215pm the Production Manager showed up. Only to tell me he didn't have any work for me to do so perhaps I should watch a copy of the show.

Sits down to watch the documentary

Miss M: Mmmh this looks interesting, she's saying she doesn't want to give birth in a hospital?

Miss M: Hang on, no doctors? No drugs?

Miss M: Oh my god, is that a baby coming out? Dear god no, please zoom out! Seriously, please!!

A very traumitised Miss M finishes the documentary and is now scarred for life by the close up image of babies being pushed out of vaginas.

Miracle of life my ass, that shit shouldn't be shared.


sweetass RSA said...

oh dear... that was funny...!!

Ruby said...

shame babe......*staring at the screen horrified at the picture forming in mind after reading post*

I think you just scarred me for life!!!!

The Divine Miss M said...

@sweetass - it might be funny but it was truly gross.

@ruby - uh huh. That was a sight I could have quite happily gone without ever seeing. *sighs*

Anonymous said...

It was obviously a test. If the Production Manager doesn't want to look you in the eye, you should be be worried.

Gledwood said...

What do you mean you're an African blogger... based in London you're South African are you.. or..? I remember when I started going clubbing again in the late 90s and met girls (they were nearly all girls too) from places like Botswana. White girls with posh voices... I couldn't believe it and ended up having probably boring (for them) E conversations about "did you have giraffes in your back garden" ... etc

entertaining blog you got here..!..


Lopz said...

I agree 100% - let the miracle of life also remain a mystery of life. You need that mental imagery like Zuma needs a shower.

The Divine Miss M said...

@lopz - Zuma needs a shower! Otherwise how is he going to protect himself from all those woman he rapes? ;)

@kyknood - I didn't think of it that way ... in fact I got moved off that show, perhaps I didn't pass?!

@gledwood - I'm a South African living and working in London. Thanks for visiting and the comment, I do like hearing from readers :)

P.s: I don't have a posh voice ...

Goblin said...

I've been tricked into watching such videos like that by friends with baby fever. They still maintain it's a miracle whilst I tell them they need their heads read if they still want one after watching that.
At least it was a legit documentary, what's scarier are those people who film it themselves and show it to friends and family.