The Mobile Phone Club

I do wonder about the sanity levels of our floor sometimes. Today we created The Mobile Phone Club which only people with bluetooth on their phones could join. We spent an enjoyable half an hour "toothing" different ring tones to each other - Airwolf, NightRider, Murder She Wrote and Macgyver.

What occurred afterwards was what honestly made me ponder our sanity. Three 30 odd year old people and me participated in this.

Colleague 1: I know, let's all play our machine gun clips at the same time. It will sound like we're having a gunfight

Colleague 2: Naughty giggle Oh cool idea!

Colleague 1: On the count of 3

Colleague 1, 2, 3 and Miss M: Oooone, twooooo, threeeee

Sound of rattling gunfire plays across the office. The four of us jump up and pretend to shoot on another whilst giggling uncontrollably.

Colleague 1: Well that was fun

Then we all returned to work as if nothing had happened. Because weird things like this happen every day in our special corner.

Yesterday we tormented our Line Manager with a gigantic plastic spider as she is terrified of them.

I love my office.

On another note I got given a present of a new desk friend today.

Frank.

Frank is a bright pink pig who is filled with bean bag stuffing. He is now sitting next to Steve and Pinkie (my colleagues desk friend who I'm babysitting whilst she is away - who strangely enough is actually green).

The other show who sit behind us think that we are all mental. I swear we're normal. I promise!

Stairs ... Stairs ... and more stairs!

I was complaining the other day that I don't get enough exercise - well it appears that the Gods heard me and I swear never to moan again. Today I have run up and down 9 flights of stairs a grand total of 5 times to panter to the needs of a Series Director. Sometimes it is understandable but sometimes it is just plain annoying.

10am Miss M gets into the office

Email from Series Director: Hi Miss M, I'm in the edit down on the 1st floor - can you please bring me tape 20 and 25?

Miss M runs down the stairs and drops them off

20 minutes later

Email from Series Director: I just need tape 3 if you could drop that off?

Miss M runs down the stairs

1 hour later

Email from Series Director: Just realised that I also need tape 15 - are you able to run it down?

Miss M runs down the stairs

Now this one is just completely beyond me

Telephone rings

Miss M: Brightly Hello

Series Director: Hi Miss M, could you possibly please go and get some CD's for me and drop them to me in the edit? They are in the Music Department

Miss M: The Music Department by the Studios?

Series Director: Yes, they're under my name

Miss M: Perturbed Suuuuure

Now dear readers the Music Department is basically about a 2 minute walk from where our wonderful Series Director is at the moment. I have to take the stairs or elevator 10 floors down, walk to where the Department is and converse with someone about some CD's that I know nothing about.

Whilst he could have walked out of his edit, down 1 flight of stairs and got them no problem.

Do higher up Creatives just enjoy having people that they can get to do things?

Just as Miss M is sitting down to eat her lunch

Email from Series Director: I forgot tape 1, could you bring it down?

SERIOUSLY?!

Hey, least I got some exercise today!

Itchy Feet and Random Researchers

I decided to take Friday and Monday off work and have a long weekend away in Ireland with my friend Gem. Work had been beginning to take its toll and the rejection from the permanent position actually knocked me quite a bit so Gem and I thought a break would be quite nice. (plus her Lovely Boyfriend is away at the moment climbing a large mountain and she needed the distraction) I am rather full of myself when it comes to what I do - perhaps that is why I didn't get it?

Well the weekend did the world of good - minus the slight cold I brought back - and I am back in the office today working my pretty behind off on a new food series for one of the terrestrial channels. I'm just covering for someone whilst she has a well deserved break in Brazil - the lucky bitch - so it means that I am working two shows at the moment and it can be quite hectic. I don't really know who to answer to these days!

I'm in love with Ireland though; I love the people, I love the countryside, I love the lifestyle and now I think I want to move there. I want to meet an Irish boy and put down roots in a tiny Irish village. I want my children to have the accent and I want to wear green and white with pride. Unfortunately I do not think there is much of a need for TV Production staff in Ireland! Perhaps I'll just find a rich boy to marry and have lots of children.

On a different note I just made an idiot out of myself with one of the Researchers. We'll call him Winking Researcher as he winked at me whilst in the elevator the other day.

Now he isn't anything special but apparently I babble when I'm face to face with him. I have no idea why but I lose control of my tongue.

Today I managed to babble about the pet dog I had growing up, my love of cats, where I live in London, why I live there, where does he live, what did he do on the weekend, how strange I am, and how I am sick. He just nodded every so often whilst I babbled constantly and picked away at some paper at the printer.

I'm strange.

Or perhaps it is the cold and flu capsules I've been taking.

I think I scare him.

Strange time to pray

So I discovered something very random at work today on one of my walkabouts - we have a Contemplation/Prayer Room* on the 1st floor.

The mind boggles. What exactly do we need a Contemplation/Prayer Room for? Not only that but it is stashed away down some strange corridor right at the back of the 1st floor - I couldn't even find it. Perhaps it is like the Room of Requirements in Harry Potter, where it only appears when you really need a place to either pray or contemplate?

But why would you need to pray or contemplate whilst at work? Is our industry so stressful that employees actually have reason to go and pray during work hours?

I can just see it now

Researcher: On their knees staring up at the logo of the company Oh please, please, please let me keep my job. I promise it was only a minor fuck up, I'll do better next time!

Producer: Hands desperately clenched and head bowed to the floor I know that the viewing figures were low on last nights show but it wasn't my fault! We were pitted against Big Brother!

Runner: Tears streaming down their face I didn't meant to spill that tea on the Executive Producer! I really need this job, please let me keep it.

This would be me

Miss M: Honest innocent expression I desperately need this new contract; I'll do anything, and I really do mean anything ...

What do you think? Does that sound like what a Contemplation/Prayer Room would be used for in a major TV Production Company?

Or do people really suddenly feel the urge to go and commune with their God during work hours?

I think that's just an excuse to not want to work - like a cigarette break - except it would be considered discrimination not to allow people to pray if they need too.

Weirdos.

*It is actually labelled like that - Comtemplation/Prayer Room

Sugar is definitely needed now

Apparently "although your experience is terrific we have opted to go with another candidate who's skill set more closely reflected the needs of the role."

They were even kind enough to add "I do hope that you are not too disappointed and wish you luck with your search."

Isn't that sweet? Crush your dreams in one paragraph and then offer you condolences in the next.

Miss M isn't feeling too happy right now. There is nothing quite like the feeling of rejection to make your day complete. It isn't even like I need the job - I am really enjoying where I am at the moment - I just like to think that I am incredibly good at what I do therefore why wouldn't they want me? Unfortunately I take it personally.

Well back to the slog and away from the dreams of a permanent position and guaranteed holidays.

They probably smelt anyways.

And were mean.

I bet the person they chose is a nincompoop.

Miss M is tired and cranky

I'm tired and cranky today. This does not make for a good working environment with me. Apparently I am shooting people dirty looks if they ask me for anything. It does seem to be working in a positive way for me though as now no one is asking me to do anything. It could come back to bite me in the ass, but at the moment I am going to roll with it.

Production Manager: Miss M can you calculate the costs from the post production edit we did last week on the International Show?

Prolonged silence which involves Miss M turning around in slow motion with a death ray look aimed at the Manager

Production Manager: You feeling alright Miss M?

Miss M: I'm just a bit tired from the weekend

Production Manager: Nervous titter in her voice Oh okay, well if you're not feeling up to it I can sort it out

Silence whilst Miss M tries to work this one out in her head - she's offering to do my work even though she's my superior? Damn this death ray thing really works!

Miss M: I can do it, just a little tired today ....

Production Manager: No worries, I'll do it later

SWEET! I have found my secret manipulative weapon! Be a cranky bitch!

But I suppose tomorrow I should do some work otherwise they might fire my ass ...

The interview went well. I now really want the job, which isn't a good thing because it probably means that the Gods of Jobs will feed me back some nasty karma and laugh in my face.

Gods of Jobs: How much do you want this job Miss M?

Miss M: Desperately, it's the perfect job for me and it's permanent which means I get a regular salary and can go on more holidays!

Gods of Jobs: Well then, just because of that we are making sure you don't get it.

Miss M: What?

Gods of Jobs: MUAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Well that's how I see it in my own head.

I'm waiting to hear if I got to the second round of interviewing - apparently then I'd get to meet all 4 of the directors and charm the pants off of them.

Well perhaps not charm the pants entirely off of them, that might lead to an awkward situation.

Miss M: Seems you've lost your pants there, can I offer you some sort of service?

Directors: Gaaah!

Gods of Jobs: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Okay, I'm leaving now. My imagination is getting carried away and I think I need more coffee.

Coffee!!!!!!!!

Now now Miss M

A couple of weeks ago, when I was really annoyed with work as they didn't have an active project for me to work on, I applied for a job that I saw online - I them promptly forgot about it.

This morning - sitting ever so nicely in my inbox - was an email from the company saying that they loved my CV and want me to come in for an interview tomorrow.

Now yesterday I was given my new contract for an extension until the end of March, apparently to keep my pay ticking over until they decide what I am going to be working on and for how long.

I haven't signed it.

I'm going for the interview tomorrow.

Do you that this is cheeky?

At least I can tell the people I'm working with at the moment since we're all freelancers so my Manager is fine with me leaving at 430pm tomorrow to go for an interview.

Somehow I feel like I'm cheating on the company.

But you do have to look out for number 1 don't you?

I promise I wasn't smoking Mum

The office that I work in has 22 floors and there are two times of the day when these elevators are in constant demand - Office Rush Hour. At these times the lifts will basically stop on every single floor on the way up and on the way down. It is incredibly frustrating and when all I want to do is leave the building I can feel my blood pressure climbing higher and higher at every single floor. And I only have 10 to go down, imagine being on the 22nd floor!

The elevators are the most quiet place in the whole building. Sometimes I wish that I could stop one between floors, drag my desk into it and work from there - but that wouldn't really be practical on so many levels would it? (haha I amuse myself)

So last night I got into a completely packed elevator on my floor and prepared myself for the long descent.

Now has anyone ever noticed how no one speaks in an elevator? You just stare at the screen displaying which floor we are arriving at or passing. Now I don't know why but I found this highly amusing last night.

Finds her spot in the elevator by jamming a couple of smaller people with her elbows

Spots a colleague at the far end of the elevator and waves politely; neither of us actually speak to one another

Miss M decides to look around the rest of the elevator

Miss M realises that EVERYONE is staring at the little screen except her

Miss M starts to giggle

Floor 9

Miss M starts to giggle louder

Floor 7

Miss M has almost reached a point of hysterics

Floor 5

Miss M actually has tears running down her cheeks with the effort of trying not to laugh any harder

Ground

I have never seen people depart an elevator so fast in their life nor with such scared expressions on their faces.

And I still have no idea what I found so funny.

I just love Mondays

Things that really made my Monday this morning

1) The alarm going off and rudely awakening me from a lovely dream about climbing

2) Water being used by a housemate whilst I was in the shower causing an icy jet of water to hit me *shivers at the memory*

3) Burning my hand whilst taking my oats out of the microwave (apparently bowls get very hot when in the microwave for 3 minutes)

4) Standing next to a drunk on the bus who reeked of lager and was drinking a can of Fosters at 9am in the morning. Not to mention the stale cigarette smoke that was permeating from him.

5) Having every conceivable muscle hurting from my climbing session yesterday. I stand up it hurts, I sit down it hurts, I walk it hurts. See the reoccurring theme here?

6) Being given lots of boring tasks to do but being incapable of actually achieving them. Apparently when someone keeps DVD's loose in their luggage they get scratched and then I can't copy them over to our shared drive.

7) Feeling sorry for myself because of all of the above

Basically I want to go home, curl up in bed and just start again tomorrow. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. It will won't it?!

On the plus side I blew Steve back up again on Friday evening and he is now back to sitting on my desk watching over me as I feel sorry for myself.

And yes Lordwiggly, he did enjoy being blown up ever so much ....

Deja Vu

0745am alarm clock goes off

Miss M gets out of bed, showers, gets dressed, eats breakfast and departs for work

0920am Miss M gets on her train

0945am Miss M arrives at the office and stands in the queue to get into the lift

Miss M arrives on the 10th floor and walks to her desk

Miss M throws her bag down, logs in to her computer and says hi to everyone

Miss M makes a cup of coffee and sits down to read her blogs

_________________________


Hang on ... isn't this 2008? Haven't I finished on this show? I don't sit here anymore?! What's going on?!

Apparently I'm back sitting at my old desk, working with my old colleagues on my old show. It is the strangest feeling of deja vu ever, it really is as if I never left and had a month long holiday. In some ways it is fantastic as I've actually really missed these people - but in other ways it feels like I haven't moved on at all and my wonderful holiday is about to become a distance memory.

On the plus side I'm no longer having to watch babies being brought into the world!

I still can't erase that image from my mind though.

P.s: I've been reunited with Steve! He got deflated for the holidays and I'm trying to gain up the energy to blow him back up again. (Somehow that sentence looked better in my head)

I'm scarred for life

Today was my first day back at work in a month. It was hard getting out of bed.

The alarm clock rings

Miss M: What the fuck is that?

Sits up in a panic and stares around the room

Miss M: Jesus, seriously, make it shut up. Ah crap it's the alarm!

Contemplates throwing her phone against the wall

So after dragging myself up, showering and departing from the house I made it into the office for 945am. Only to be told that the Production Manager I was to help out was in an edit and would only be back in the office round 1130am. So I waited. And messed around. And waited. Even walked 15 minutes in the rain to meet a friend for lunch who then proceeded to decide that he would melt if the rain touched him and he bailed - so I walked the 15 minutes back cursing his name. The weenie. 215pm the Production Manager showed up. Only to tell me he didn't have any work for me to do so perhaps I should watch a copy of the show.

Sits down to watch the documentary

Miss M: Mmmh this looks interesting, she's saying she doesn't want to give birth in a hospital?

Miss M: Hang on, no doctors? No drugs?

Miss M: Oh my god, is that a baby coming out? Dear god no, please zoom out! Seriously, please!!

A very traumitised Miss M finishes the documentary and is now scarred for life by the close up image of babies being pushed out of vaginas.

Miracle of life my ass, that shit shouldn't be shared.

It lives!

Today I came out of hibernation.

I was up, showered and actually dressed before midday. Alright, so it was 2 minutes before midday but I still managed it. Small victories okay?

I left the house. For the first time since Tuesday at 705pm I ventured outside. I didn't think my legs were going to work or I thought that my lungs had become accustomed to the oxygen in my house that I might be incapable of breathing real air again - but somehow I survived it.

I trekked out into Wombletown and braved the shops. Unfortunately my depleted bank balanced didn't allow me to buy much but I did manage pick up a truly adorable pink wallet and cute hat that shall protect my ears from the cold.

I did however make the mistake of watching the second last episode of Heroes season 1 before leaving the house - all I could think about was the finale and how desperate I was to know what happened - so what could have been a rather entertaining afternoon out was cut short by my desire to come home, curl up on the couch and finish Heroes.

Oh my god I'm becoming a hermit.

HEEEELP MEE!!!!

Make up your mind, please!

So today I decided that I should drop my line manager a quick note just to find out who I will be reporting to on Monday and what time I should arrive - this is what I got back.

"Hi Miss M. Can you stay put where you are for the moment. We'll know more next Tuesday. We were planning to move you off (said show) and give you something else but I am awaiting news and no-one is back til next week. Can you bear with us for now?"

What is that suppose to mean? I'm contracted from Monday, I haven't worked in a month and I desperately need the cash! I can't hang around until they make their minds up?! Stay where I am? That isn't a problem, I haven't actually left the house in 48 hours but I don't know if I can take it anymore. Will they pay me for being trapped inside my house? So I thought I'd mail her back and point out the fact that I'm contracted from Monday and that I desperately need the cash - This is what I got back.

"I think as we had already contracted you from the 7th you should turn up at (the office) , (unless you are happy to take a later start?) You might find yourself treading water for a week or two so if you could bear with us. We wouldn't just cancel a contract at such short notice I promise you. Its just that (The New Show) may be hitting us any minute and I am awaiting news on this as we would like you to do this one as and when it starts."

Treading water for a couple of weeks? Any ideas on what THAT means? Seriously woman, what am I going to be doing? I'm not even on a specific show now, I'm basically showing up to the office and doing sweet fuck all for a week or two. Hey - I probably could not even show up and no one would be any of the wiser.

Hey, if they're stupid enough to pay me for doing nothing I shouldn't be complaining. But I must admit I don't know what is worse - sitting at home and going stir crazy, or sitting at work where I don't know what I'll be doing.

Next week is not looking so rosy.

I'm baaack!!!

I made it back to London safe and sound after a truly wonderful break in Cape Town. It was so good to catch up with all of my friends; pity though that some of them decided that I wasn't important enough to see - you really learn who your friends are when you move away and let's just say that I know who I'm striking off my Christmas list for future years!

The sunshine was glorious, in most parts the company was fantastic and I must say that landing back in cold, dreary and rainy London was not my most favoured moment, however being home has had some delights. My housemate graciously downloaded Heroes for me and now I am completely addicted (I know, I know, I'm a late starter but I was really busy at work!) along with all the seasons of How I Met Your Mother. Ah, the joys of being unemployed.

Okay so I'm not really unemployed but I don't start my new contract until Monday.

But I'm not really looking forward to going back. I'll have not worked for a month and the idea of returning makes me panic slightly. I'll tell you that it did take quite a while to relax - for the first couple of days I was really antsy and all I wanted to do was get back in the office and do some work. I desperately wanted to talk to my colleagues, I wanted to know what was going on and the idea of waking up every single morning without any worries or stress was hard to handle. In fact I was stressing over the lack of stress.

But I got over it. Boy did I get over it. The sound of the alarm clock is but a distant memory and I'm just taking every single day as it comes - why plan anything at all?

Oh god how am I going to handle Monday?!