Overheard in the office

So sitting behind me in our office is a team which are making a prime time show and at the moment they are casting for contributors. I get to hear way too many strange conversations which in the "real" world would not be acceptable in the office but in the world of TV no one even seems to notice them. For some reason I seem to tune in right at the strangest point ...

TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS

AP: Oh really? (raises her eyebrows) You like to do that?

AP: No ... (slight girly giggle) Oh my, you really are naughty aren't you?

AP: (twirls the cord around her finger) I'm sure you'd be amazing

Now in theory they are discussing the contributor and doing the preliminary questions to see if they are a suitable candidate, but doesn't that sound dodgy?

AP: Now do you have a criminal record from that?

Hmm ... who exactly are they talking to?

AP: Are you single at the moment?

AP: Would you be willing to become single for this?

So now we're not only trying to set people up we're now actually breaking them up too!

CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE

AP: He is really sexy

Producer: Yes but is he stupid enough? We can't have him being intelligent because then it just wouldn't work

AP: Well he looks fairly stupid, wouldn't you say?

Producer: Hmm ... yes the eyes do appear to be slightly vacant

I love it!!!!

International Blog Day

Earlier I stumbled upon the fact that today is Blog Day. Blog Day you ask, what is this? Well ..

BlogDay was created with the belief that bloggers should have one day dedicated to getting to know other bloggers from other countries and areas of interest. On that day Bloggers will recommend other blogs to their blog visitors. With the goal in mind, on this day every blogger will post a recommendation of 5 new blogs. This way, all blog readers will find themselves leaping around and discovering new, previously unknown blogs.

Ok, so the following below are a couple of blogs that I like to read and hopefully you will too.

MrsM
Mrs M is a blog by a woman living in South Africa waiting for her immigration papers to the USA to be finalised. She married Mr M in March of 2007-a glorious affair it was too -on the West Coast of South Africa.
< I really enjoy this blog, she allows you into her life in a completely voyeuristic way yet really engages you, I'd recommend following her antics!

The Other Woman
I'm a single woman, employed in a professional job, with wonderful friends and an active lifestyle. I enjoy an active love life with a number of lovers - among whom may be your husband!
< Fantastic blog about men straying from their wives. I'm not entirely sure if this is all fact but I think it is fiction meshed with real life adventures.

Reflections of an Oversexed Englishmen
< Read this girls, that is all I'm saying

A Beautiful Revolution
Err... because it is a place for me to offload my thoughts. And also ladies sometimes send me naked pictures of themselves. So do you have a boyfriend?
< Random cartoons and doodles from someone just letting out their thoughts. Really made me giggle though

Diamond Geezer
Life viewed from London E3
< Haven't looked completely through this blog but it appears to be general things happening in London and general life in London. So far I like it

I have to give mention of course to my wonderful friend's blog Glad to be a Girl and the other wonderful one that she has started up, What am I Reading?

Happy reading!

Conversation 4

(phone rings)

Miss M: (annoyed with the ringing phone) Hello.

Director: Listen we need to do about 30 minutes of filming tomorrow with the security guard from a previous shoot. Can you please call him and find out if he is available tomorrow.

Miss M: Sure no problem

(phone down and Miss M rings another number)

Miss M: Hi P, are you around tomorrow for some quick filming for your intro to the show?

P: No can do Miss M I'm at my cousins funeral until the late afternoon and it is outside of London so I'm not sure when I'll be back.

Miss M: Oh crap, well don't worry I'll let the director know.

(phone down and Miss M rings another number)

Miss M: Hi, just to let you know P can't do the filming tomorrow because he is at a funeral until late.

*SILENCE*

Director: Can he cancel?

AARRRRGGGGGG

The morning after

Back at my desk this morning in the office and I can not concentrate on anything else other than the monumentally stupid mistake I made last night in going to see Boy with Girlfriend. I'm obsessively checking my MSN to see if he is there yet, my phone is never more than an inch away from me and every conversation I have with someone in the office keeps trailing off on my side because my mind keeps drifting back to this stupid situation.

I'm not texting him - he hasn't texted me - I refuse to call him - he hasn't called me - I want to talk to him - I refuse to contact him. It is like some stupid cycle and I wonder when I'm going to give in. I can't let him have all the power can I? However when I'm there with him and he's whispering in my ear my entire body melts. I'm in serious trouble here ...

I think I need a new obsession.

Oops

So tonight after work I did a really stupid thing. Against my better judgement I went to go and meet Boy with a Girlfriend* for a cup of coffee. I don't really know what I was expecting or why I went but all reason went completely out of my head and just left the office, got on the tube and went to see him.

We ended up sitting in a Cafe Nero kissing for a good 30 minutes - not in any innocent way I might add! Now I'm ever so confused as to what I should do. I adore the guy, I want to be with him and I think that we would be fantastic together. But there is the small problem of his girlfriend and they don't seem to be breaking up any time soon. I am trying to weight up the pros and cons as to whether I should stick around and try to win him or bail whilst I'm not completely emotionally invested in this.

Gem and her lovely boyfriend say that as long as they aren't living together he is fair game. Varen thinks that I should tell him straight up to leave the girlfriend and Fligela thinks that I should run as fast as possible in the opposite direction.

I honestly don't know if he is even considering the idea of leaving the girlfriend - I'm too scared to bring it up unless he says no he isn't and then stops talking to me and I'm also scared to bring it up unless he actually did and then he was mine. I mean could you trust someone like this? He claims that he doesn't do this usually, that I'm the only other girl he spends all day flirting with over MSN and that he really cares about me but can I believe him?

If he so easily meets a girl after work and makes out with her whilst with his current girlfriend he could do the exact same thing to me ... couldn't he?


*Boy with a Girlfriend is an interesting "friend" that I have who claims to adore me completely and says that he thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread. Since December last year we have flirted none stop and exchanged in some pretty dodgy emails but only in the past couple of months have we started to really cross the boundaries and I'm beginning to wonder if I am, in fact, the other woman.

Conversation 3

ABOUT 5 MINUTES AGO

(Phone rings)

Miss M: Hello?

Director: Hi. Tell me; if you had 3 million batteries spare what large object/place/country do you think you could power?

Miss M: I'm not 100% sure

Director: Could you find out?

Miss M: I'm right on it

(puts phone down)

WHAT ON EARTH?!

Conversation 2

(Phone rings)

Miss M: Hello?

Director: Hi, do you know what line I'm calling from?

Miss M: Yes, 3842

Director: Yes I know that but I need the full number

Miss M: I don't have that but if you dial 0 the operator will be able to tell you

Director: Can you not do that for me?

Miss M: No I can't, they won't know what phone I'm dialing from

Director: How annoying, I'm very busy. Is there not any other way?

Miss M: Well other than me walking over to the tower (10 minutes away) and dialing from your phone, no.

Director: This really is annoying, why do you not have the full number?

Miss M: I am so sorry but you never told me the full number when you moved to that room

Director: Ok fine, I'll do it myself. Bye

(phone gets put down)

Miss M: Well you could have done it 15 times over during this pointless conversation!

Conversation 1

Miss M: Hiya, was just giving you a quick call to let you know what time the last train is that you can catch back to London tonight

Director: Oh great. I'll be finishing up with the cameraman at about 530pm so anytime after that

Miss M: Well unfortunately the last train that leaves Dundee and returns direct to London via Edinburgh leaves at 1628.

Director: Well I won't be finished by then.

Miss M: I'm really sorry (I'm apologising for not having a later train?!) but there really are no later trains that will get you back by the end of tonight

Director: I used to live in Edinburgh, I know that trains run through the evening straight to London

Miss M: Ok ... however I have the National Rail website up infront of me and they say that their last train leaving Edinburgh is at 1745 and that is the train which leaves Dundee at 1628. The next one is at 620am the following morning.

Director: That can not be, I definitely remember there being trains later, I have taken them in the past.

Miss M: In the past there might have been but TODAY there are not (starting to get slightly pissed off)

Director: I know that they are

Miss M: Right, well if you would like to risk waiting for a later train you are more than welcome to but according to National Rail there are not anymore.

Director: There must be, I need to leave later.

Miss M: SERIOUSLY there are no more trains! (Really agro at this point)

Director: Ok fine, I'll get on that one.

TV Insanity

Now I don't know what it is but it seems that when you work on the creative side of Television you lose your grasp on reality quite quickly. All of a sudden the impossible becomes the possible and you suddenly develop all these grand and amazing ideas which will just look absolutely amazing once they are implemented onto the show. Now this is all wonderful in the moment but it is left up to the poor Production staff to actually make these silver lining dreams a reality and boy are most of these just complete dreams. How many of us have had phone calls at midnight as the director has suddenly realised that he is in the middle of nowhere and needs a hotel for the night - never mind the fact that it is midnight, you're asleep and don't have access to a list of hotels in the area, that is of course if the director has actually been kind enough to inform you where they are. My personal favourite was getting a panicked phone call from the runner as the director had phoned her to say that his train was now delayed and coming into a different train station and could she please collect him - when asked where and what time he informed her that he was in the quiet carriage and couldn't talk. Or better yet the same director who refuses to drink any water which isn't Volvic and has me research restaurants in the vicinity of where he is heading to film just so that he can plan his meals in advance. Or how he decides to change the shoot location and details 5 times in one day - each time just after we have finished putting everything together. OR how about calling me up at 7pm on a Friday evening and informing me that he needs a blacked out, white moving van, without any markings of any kind and bank area large enough for 5 people to sit quite comfortably in - Oh it would also be good if there was a sun roof so that people could have some air but no windows because then everyone would be allowed in - you know I don't think that that vehicle exists at the best of times but especially not at 7pm on a Friday to be delivered by 730am on the Saturday!

There are apparently no such words as "No" or "that is not possible" in Television Production. I have found myself wheeling a life sized cut out of a Zebu (type of cow for the uninformed) down a main road on a skateboard because I was not able to find another single soul who was willing to. Recently I watched in total fear as a cameraman walked into the middle of Oxford Street in rush hour traffic, sat down and got what he told me was "the money shot" for some GV's of Selfridges. IN RUSH HOUR?! Oxford St is probably the most busy street in London and I was standing on the sidewalk screaming in utter panic whilst a bunch of tourist stared at me and started taking photographs.

Boring Tuesday

I am such a wimp I tell you, last night I had all the good intentions in the world of going to the gym after finishing work but somewhere along the line I managed to convince myself that I didn't need to go and that I could go this morning - surprise surprise that didn't happen either. I'm a little worried though as The Kat keeps bringing out this chocolate from Czech each evening and I keep consuming it in high quantities but we're both hoping that we'll run out eventually and then the binge shall stop. It had better stop if I intend on going home at the end of the year and knocking everyone dead with how stunning I look - if it continues I'll be knocking everyone down since they won't be able to avoid running into me due to the size I've reached!

So basically I ended up sitting on the couch watching some American drama show called "What about Brian"
-32 year old Brian Davis is living the life of a single guy in Los Angeles. However, he is the only bachelor left in his group of friends. His best friend, lawyer Adam Hillman, recently got engaged to his long-time girlfriend Marjorie, a girl Brian has secretly long had a crush on and who Adam was planning to break up with. His other best friend Dave Greco, who is co-founder with Brian of Zap Monkey, a company that designs and produces video games, cannot wait to welcome Brian into the marriage club, as Dave has been married with Deena for 13 years and has three daughters. His older sister, record executive Nicole "Nic" Varzi, has recently married and is pregnant, even though she is in her forties. Brian's journey to find romance leads him down a road where the picture perfect relationships of his friends are tested and revealed for what they truly are. -

This show is like crack. Seriously. I hate it and want to get away but every Tuesday I find myself watching it and after every single episode I promise never to watch it again but of course the following week I'm right back there. It bothers me that the show is only filled with beautiful people and they all seem to have such complicated lives, it also seems to give me unrealistic expectations as to what life is going to be like. I mean at age 25 shouldn't I already be some rich, kick ass lawyer or a beautiful stripper who meets a rich lovely man who marries her after 2 weeks? Also really can so many bad things happen to one person? I finish every single episode feeling as if my life is pathetic and that I am not reaching my full potential! That and that being single is really one of the worst things that can happen to me according to most American shows. *starts to cry*

How to: Successfully waste a Bank Holiday Monday

So you get a day off from work - suddenly you have an entire extra day to do something with, the possibilities are endless. You could:

1) Go for a long walk
2) Meet some friends for lunch
3) Go shopping
4) Go to the Notting Hill Carnival
5) Get drunk
6) Do anything except what I did

Firstly I didn't get up or showered until about 2pm in the afternoon after having washed the truly massive pile of dishes that the Kat, Fligela, Captain B and I managed to create on Sunday night. Then after showing I went for the most pointless expedition into Wombletown to find a watermelon in order to make vodka watermelon for the party next weekend but apparently no one in Wombletown sells them. Then Fligela and I went for coffee at Nero and got into some stupid argument about addictions and whether or not you can still be addicted to something and not have it affect your life in a negative way - which I still stand to the fact that you can be - and I ended up walking out on him as opposed to actually hanging around to scream at him in a public place.

He can really wind me up sometimes. Ok, so I understand that he is all stressed out about work and not knowing whether he can stay in the country past the end of September (visa issues) and I really do care, I mean I offered the marry the guy, but the grumpy argumentative Fligela that comes with it is really starting to annoy me. No matter what we start talking about he gets argumentative and will basically just choose to say the opposite in order to work out his aggravations. I mean come on, at the bus stop on the way into Wombletown we argued over whether or not a cat can stare at a car coming towards it and make a conscious judgment if it is capable of ducking under the car. SERIOUSLY?! Just for the record I was arguing that the cat can't as animals just rely on instinct but he seemed to think that the cat really has a thought process in that situation - most likely just to wind me up.

So after walking out on him I got home and found The Kat staring at our fridge with a mutinous expression and I resigned myself to the fact that we were now officially going to clean it. So we did. An hour and a half later we had a spotless house and more importantly a now spotless fridge - how we managed to eat food out of that fridge is beyond me but Fligela pointed out the fact that all of our food was ready made sealed packages hence why we hadn't died.

The Kat then made us dinner (chicken risotto YUMMY) and I collapsed on the couch again and watched tv and ate chocolate to the point of bursting. Then at about 9pm I weighed up the merits of throwing up the chocolate from earlier and then eating some ice cream but apparently that wasn't a good idea so I just chatted to 10 minute man (and no this is not some porno name but reference to the fact that he seems to think he can drive his car from Mowbray to Tableview in 10 minutes flat YE RIGHT) online and attempted to help him with his work as no normal human should still be at work at midnight.

Is that really and truly one of the most wasted bank holiday Monday's ever?

Bank Holiday Monday

So it is a bank holiday weekend, and apparently I am supposed to be suffering from multiple severe hangovers from drinking but somehow that just didn't happen to me. After actually making it to the gym on Saturday and killing myself I went on a mission with some friends to Richmond. But we never actually made it there. After many an arguments with Fligela about the fastest route to make it there and the complications of buying the correct tickets we finally boarded a train ONLY to get ejected at some random station due to complications further up the line. Now what the complications were I'm not 100% certain but we got ejected in the middle of nowhere! Barnes - where people go to breed. No seriously, all we saw were familys with their snotty children. Eventually after walking 30 odd minutes with The Token American complaining none stop about desperately needing a beer otherwise he was going to die we found this amazing pub right on the river and plonked ourselves there for a good few hours. Now let me tell you drinks out with The Token American, Fligela and Captain B are always quite entertaining; after arguing about 1) American politics 2) South African politics 3) American Indian's casinos 4) whether warcraft is in fact social interaction 5) smoking we were well and truly on our way to being pissed and cranky so we headed back on the train to Putney and drank further at some bar whilst The Token American tried the numbers tactic on picking up woman. This is talking to as many as possible and seeing if at least one will be interested in you - unfortunately he lost so we all headed home. All in all a crappy start to the day but a good evening had by all. I will actually make it to Richmond for drinks one day.

Sunday was spent chilling in the park across the road chatting, playing badminton and flying Captain B's new little toy helicopter which sounds and looks like an angry mosquito. Cute. Then the Kat, Captain B, Fligela and I played poker for about 5 hours. Now the Kat is a table bully with far too much luck and she won way to often however I won the final tournament and beat Fligela's ass thank you very much ;)

So now I've woken up on the bank holiday and I am supposed to be at the Notting Hill Carnival but I have the worst period cramps ever and I am feeling very sorry for myself so I think I might just watch some more tv and sulk. Actually I think the Kat is going to drag me into Wombletown in a minute to find a bottle and vodka and a watermelon for the house party next weekend. *forsees bad things for next weekend*

Procrastinating

So I'm sitting on my couch at the moment attempting to convince myself to go to my gym class. This is proving to my rather difficult however you'd think that after 11 hours of sleep I'd be raring to go. Bleh, enthuasiasm for the gym seems to be wearing off ...

The very first one

So this is my very first post ... phillygirl has sucked me into the world of blogging and I think that this might be a good idea - well at least until I get bored of it!

Well today I'm sitting at work and absolutely hating the 4th day in a row where I actually have had absolutely nothing to do - some might say that this is fantastic but do you know how boring it actually is to sit here and do absolutely zilch? I really should not be but the absolutely useless Director that we are working with at the moment has not finished the rough cut of the show on time and I can not start the post production work on it which of course means we are going to miss our deadline and that my company are paying me for sitting on my arse and chatting to my friends ... aah the joys.

This Director really is useless - we're making a show about Shoplifters in which we camped out in numerous stores across England, set up security equipment and waited for people to steal things so that we could catch it on camera and then come out and shout SURPRISE! No seriously we would call the cops etc ... but we caught barely anyone, the reason for this? Well our lovely Director decided to set up all the secret cameras around the shops DURING WORKING HOURS!!! I mean come on?! Of course no one came to steal, they knew we were there!!! *grr* So basically this show is a complete pile of crap and I am counting down the days till I leave it and move onto "real" tv, well if you count lovely celebrity reality shows as proper tele ... ;)

Phillygirl seems to think that people will actually read this ... let's see ...