Watersports

Apparently I have quite a dirty mind.

Colleague 1 heading down the corridor

Colleague 2: Calling out to Colleague 1 Ooo are you heading to the water fountain?

Colleague 1: No I'm going to the toilet

Miss M: Giggling Same difference isn't it?

Didn't go down too well.

Apparently stressful Friday's don't give people a sense of humour.

What gets my Goat

A machine that prints, scans and photocopies all in one. This is - in theory - fantastic.

This machine prints on both sides of the paper. Again, absolutely bloody fantastic.

However.

It photocopies only one side of the paper.

Even worse.

It photocopies one side of each piece of paper AND puts each side onto 1 piece of paper. So I have page 1 and 3 on one page and no page 2.

How FUCKING stupid is THAT?????

I also appear to be surrounded by people who are incapable of doing things for themselves.

Do I look like your mother? If you didn't put a label on something at our old office it did not get moved over here. I explained it and I thought that you had listened to me.

It is not my problem anymore. Go back to the old office and get it yourself.

Also, whilst we're at it, I have much better things to do with my time than find you a charger for your mobile when you're the one who has lost it.

I repeat. I. Am. Not. Your. Mother.

Please do not wander up to my desk with a lost expression and tell me your woes. As you can tell I am NOT in the mood for it.

On the plus side I had my Career Development Review this afternoon. I got some glowing feedback but it isn't it amazing how I can focus on the 1 small thing that someone expressed negatively? One small, tiny, insignificant thing that I am now just going to obsess over for the next few weeks.

Unfortunately it is from the Manager I'm working with at the moment and I'm pretty sure she knows why I'm shooting her the evils this afternoon.

Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day hey?

Push the Button

We moved offices today.

All of our floors are slowly but surely having a refurbishment. My team is now sitting on one of the redone floors. It feels like we are in a call centre or something similar. Just rows upon rows of desks as far as the eye can see, white walls and cupboard leverywhere.

All very strange.

They have also built us a kitchen area which is going down a storm.

The most entertaining bit is the fact that there is one tap which gives you cold drinking water and boiling water for teas or coffees instantaneously.

This has proved hysterical as it took a good 20 minutes before we figured out how to get the boiling water out.

Some of the greatest minds in Television - well Execs and the like - standing around this tap desperately trying to make it work.

Eventually they figured out that you had to hold down the safety button before the water came out.

Most funny part? The instructions were on a sign right above the tap - no one had bothered to read them.

Petty Games

So as you can establish I have been quite busy at work.

I've been getting in for around 0900ish and departing mostly between 1900 and 2000. When you combine this with no lunch break and constantly being on the go it lends to an incredibly exhausted Miss M who really does not feel like dealing with the general populous.

My boss has been in the office until 2230 most nights for the past week and I must admit that I have been feeling a bit guilty leaving earlier than her but you know what - I'm not paid as much as she is.

Last night, however, I really needed to get out on time to go meet Miss P who is in town for a bit. Our mutual friend was cooking a meal for us at home and Jailbait was coming to meet Miss P for the first time. 

I told my boss I needed to leave on the dot and she agreed.

At 1820 Jailbait got to my office and I went over to her to say goodbye

Miss M: Right Wallie, before I head out is there anything urgent that you need?

Wallie: Well there is this one thing, can you adjust all the changes in our studio schedule from the meeting and make sure that our final schedule is correct?

Miss M: Exceptionally annoyed Is this urgent for this evening?

Wallie: Not really, but I'd like it done so I know it is out of the way

Miss M: Breathes out Right now?

Wallie: Yes please Miss M

Now I swear she was only getting me to do it because she was pissed that I was leaving ON TIME. I wasn't even leaving early, actually screw that I was already leaving 20 minutes late - not even on time.

How petty is that? 

Getting me to do something that she doesn't need urgently - in fact she doesn't really need it for another week - purely just to have me stay in the office later to ruin my evening because hers obviously is ruined already.

*sighs*

I was an hour and 20 minutes late for dinner.

The pee-pee dance

Do you know what I hate the most about being insanely busy at work?

I never seem to get the chance to pee.

I desperately need to go to the toilet but something always keeps getting in the way.

And then I forget.

Then suddenly I've been desperate to go for about an hour and I think I'm going to wet my seat.

So I go in the direction of the toilet and someone hijacks me en-route.

Another 20 minutes.

This is getting stupid.

I NEED TO PEE!!!

Job Opening

NEEDED

1 x Production Co-ordinator

Must be calm under pressure, able to multi-task and prioritise, be super friendly and pro-active. If you are not super organised please do not bother to apply.

Candidate must be able to magic up flights, trains and taxis to and from locations to pacify grumpy editorial teams regardless of whether these facilities are actually running. Previous Co-ordinator convinced airline to specially run a flight just to get a tired Director back to his home.

They must never frown and always be smiley, happy and never let anything be a problem.

Candidate should not go postal and kill entire Editorial team because they are incapable of cementing anything until 5 minutes before 6pm therefore forcing the co-ordinator to stay at work for a further 3 hours whilst desperately trying to contact companies that are long shut.

It is imperative that the Co-ordinator does not have a social life and nor should they want to have one in the near future whilst the show is in Production.

Please note that the words "no" or "I can not do this" are not allowed to be uttered and voicing of either will incur the candidate being fire immediately.

Please apply via email and set your CV through.

If you blag it, make sure you can do it.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall ...

Living in London can be hard. I really only remember just how hard when I've spent some time away.

This past weekend I went to Northumberland with Jailbait to do some climbing and to visit my Uncle and cousins.

It was amazing.

The open space, the clean air, the villages and just the general peacefulness and isolation. I did not want to return last night.

Living in London you are just another nameless face on a crowded street. People push right passed you and don't even notice you or care about your story.

Out there people were greeting me in the street, waving at us as we drove passed and just made me feel more at home than an entire 3 and a half years of living in London has done.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in London but I can not see myself settling here for all of eternity. At the moment the work is good, the travel prospects are amazing and the opportunities that London hands to me are unmissable.

Living back in Cape Town there is no way I'd be working on an award winning television show, no way I'd be able to book a trip to Belgium last minute or a climbing holiday to Sardinia and no way I'd learn so much more about different cultures.

But London is not a home.

It is a means to an end.

Though one does have to start asking - How long am I going to continue this means? What is the maximum time that I can see myself living in this city before I start to lose my soul?

I sometimes dream about moving out to the countryside. I can see myself living in a stone farmhouse, couple of children, baking, pottering outside in my wellies and waving hello to the neighbours as they wander into the village.

I wake up and I can't decide if it is a nightmare or a fantasy.

One thing is for sure though - I am going to have to start considering seriously what my time frame for London living is.

Perhaps I could move out to Canada for a bit, experience life there. Or I could pack up and go live in the French countryside for a year, brush up on my French and experience life in that degree.

Or I could become some high powered Television Executive for a major Network and spend my life in the office and then traveling home via a chauffeured car to my Holland Park townhouse where my child will have been put to bed by the nanny not even realising that their Mother was not home to read them a bedtime story.

I wonder what version I'll become.