Thursday, 2 April 2009

Is the end the beginning?

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job. I've been there 1 month short of 2 years and probably have spent more time in the office than my own home overall. It is going to be so strange to not be getting up in the morning, leaving the house, taking the train in to London and walking over to my office with the wonderful view of The South Bank.

Extremely depressing now that summer is inching its way in to London and the view is getting more and more beautiful everyday.

I'll be honest with you.

I. Am. Completely. Terrified.

Other than when I first moved over to London I have not been unemployed in 4 years. I have not been unemployed when there was not even the faintest hint of a job in the air.

I don't know what to do.

I can survive for 1 month without a job but if I don't find one to start on the 1st of May I literally can not pay rent for June. Add to that the fact that unless I find a job in a week or 2 I can't afford to go to Croatia with my friends. That makes me just want to cry.

I'm 26 but right now all I want is the safety of home and my Mother.

It might make it less scary.


po said...

I can't blame you, it is a scary and insecure feeling. I just know you will find something. But that doesn't help the terror.

Good luck hunting.

Tay said...

Holding thumbs something comes along for you soon!

kyknoord said...

Less scary for you maybe, but spare a thought for poor mum.

Claire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Claire said...

i'm sorry life is busy giving you a bum hand of cards - but just think of life like a game of rummy... you get a couple of shit hands, but then you get some aces and come up smiling.. or some analogy to that effect... (i'm trying to eat and type at the same time, so hence, not feeling very bright)

Things will turn around. (ps. things are looking pretty sunny here in the SA - had a such political debate with Lopz last night re: the importance of coming home to SA as the South Africa passports will soon become the new "it" item - everyones going to want one baby!! :) lol

ps. is this title in reference to the smashing pumpkins song? love it.

The Divine Miss M said...

Thanks Claire, I am seriously toying with the idea of coming home. I don't know if this is like a sign, you know?

Though when I mention it to Lopz she flips out at me ;)

I have 3 passports, isn't that cool!!?!?!?

The Divine Miss M said...

Ps - very clever of you to pick it up! ;)

Amy said...


Would be wonderful to have you back! But if you really want to stay, I hope you find a job soon.


Anonymous said...

Eish. I remember a moment like that when I was living in Australia. But there is always the "if all else fails" plan. The one that forces you to rely on friends and family. But survive. You'll be fabulous!

Elise said...

You'll be fine Miss M. Something will come up. Don't go home, spend time in London in a relaxing way while you look for work. Just because you're not working, it doesn't mean you can't take the train in. xx

Annie Valentine said...

Come to America! Come and visit ME!! I have the most adorable guest room all done in vintage pinks with your name on it. Well, you and the baby. Guests kind of have to share the bedroom with the June Bug.