Tuesday, 14 April 2009

God bless the English system

I have decided to bite the bullet and register for Job Seekers Allowance.

Otherwise known as The Dole.

Which would you rather tell people you are collecting?

Job Seekers Allowance - money paid to someone who is currently not working but searching for their next role


The Dole - money (and now I hate to say this as it sounds so judgmental and snobbish but I fear it is true) given to lower class chavvy English people who cheat the system by living on the measly amount paid each week whilst using it for beer & cigarettes, chilling out in their council house and generally wasting the taxpayers money as they are too lazy to work.

Wow that was quite the mouthful.

As judgmental as that little ramble was, the questions that I was asked whilst registering today did little to sway my opinion.

Q: Have you ever had a job?
What 26 year old hasn't ever had a job!?!?

Q: Are you supporting any children?
Fair enough, have you seen the typical English teenager? Usually spotted in their natural environment of the mall whilst pushing a pram

Q: Are you waiting on a court decision for criminal sentencing?
Worries me that these are regular questions where people actually answer yes!

Q: Do you receive any income other than your job?
Like my spare time drug dealing?

Q: Are you able to work fulltime?
Well no, with caring for my 4 young children and my alcoholic 19 year old husband I don't have enough time to actually work. Please can you give me money?

Also the people I see day to day during work hours wandering the streets do nothing to change my opinion either.

Middle age woman drinking out of Stella cans at 1045am, teenagers hanging around street corners drunk at lunchtime and the loads of people chilling around the council estate during work hours.

And it isn't my fault that these people all seem to resemble Chavs is it?

So for all further reference I will be claiming Job Seekers Allowance, along with Housing Benefits so please do not mention the dole to me.

I do still have my dignity.

Though I am willing to drop standards to get my rent paid each month along with 65 pounds a week spending money!


Tricia said...

Good luck to you! :) your post made me smile.

Here in the USA there are two separate programs - Welfare (one with the bad rep) and Unemployment for people who actually had jobs and lost them for various reasons. :)

The Divine Miss M said...

Oh good Tricia, that is what I am here for :)

See that makes more sense to me. I didn't want to sign up because of the stigma surrounding The Dole.

But I've bitten the bullet.

kyknoord said...

Necessity makes bullets rather tasty, don't you find?

amy said...

So long as you don't buy a burberry hat, I think you'll be okay.

Annie Valentine said...

Bravo! I'm all about professional support, especially for those who actually pay their taxes. (Wait, do you guys still have taxes over there, or did Robin Hood eliminate those back in the day?)

Miss Tig said...

OOO, does this mean you get a council house too!!DEFINATELY coming to visit you, but I expect a fridge full of Stella nad a box of embassy cigs a day...and maybe a pram to practise with :-)

Lopz said...

Don't forget to claim extra disability for that sprained ankle...dude, you might even be able to afford to go to Primark once a week!

The Divine Miss M said...

@kyknoord - mmmhhh that shit tastes good!

@annie - no we pay taxes, and a fat lot of the bastards. So I feel no guilt claiming it back!

@amy - I am so rocking the tracksuit though ;)

@miss tig - Can we use the pram for your cats???

@lopz - Yes the ankle is affecting my ability to go to non existent interviews. Cough up that money government!