She is alive ... I promise!

I'm sorry I've been so quiet for the past few days; for the first time in months I actually have lots of work to do and I'm not used to it!

The new show seems to be quite good. It's not going to be that insane and most of the team are based in a city further north in England so I won't be going on any shoots but I am going to be getting some invaluable experience in post production and as boring as that is it is an aspect of Production that I am not well versed in.

One little bit of juicy gossip is that I am actually replacing someone else as she apparently was not doing a good enough job. It was terribly awkward when I started last Thursday as she was actually still there. I came up with all of my belongings - including Steve (yes he goes from desk to desk with me) - and had to wait until she had cleared all of hers and moved to another desk before I could settle in. The tension in the air was palpable and my new Production Manager and I kept fighting the giggles when we looked at each other.

Oh my new Production Manager. I just love him! He makes me laugh and can already tell that he will a fellow conspirator as he just doesn't take anything seriously either. His sense of humour is brilliant too!

Miss M: Why do I keep thinking that your surname is McQueen?

NOT McQueen: Well perhaps because I am a total Queen?

Miss M: Packs up laughing That you are, that you are.

I think that him and I are going to get along like a house on fire.

It's so strange to be busy. I've forgotten how to actually work.

How am I going to live up to these expectations?

It's a womans role

I decided to leave work early today to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for tomorrows start on the new show. So here I am, 7 minutes before I should actually be leaving work, sitting on my couch in my pj's watching silly TV whilst listening to the rain hammer down outside. What a lovely present to myself.

I met with my new Manager today and he seems really cool. He is one of the only 2 male Production Managers in my department - there is also only 1 male Co-ordinator.

I don't really understand why there are hardly any males working on the Production side of things. There are plenty on the creative side but for some reason Production is seriously dominated by woman. And when you do encounter the occasional male they are gay. It is really strange.

I was discussing it earlier with the only male Co-ordinator in our department today (And yes dear readers he is gay) and we thought that perhaps it is because our jobs focus around mothering people so much that only woman are attracted to it. We have to take care of people, organise their lives, deal with lots of logistics and multi task like there is no tomorrow.

Perhaps men are no good at this?

Or is it because they think they that are above it?

Well what ever it is I do wish that there was some more testosterone in Production - an all woman crew can sometimes get slightly too bitchy and all girls high school like for me. We need men to break that primeval urge that all girls have to destroy the other one.

Wish me luck for tomorrow people - for the first time in 3 months I'm going to be working on an active show and making it my own. I can not wait!

It's going to be fantastic.

Well the stories will definitely be ....

Miss M has a big head

Ring ring

Miss M: Hello Miss M speaking

Executive Producer: Hi Miss M, this is The Big Boss speaking. I was wondering if you could pop up to my office for a chat if you have a minute.

Miss M: Shitting herself that her lack of work and blog has been discovered Of course, I'll be right up!

Runs up the 3 flights of stairs and arrives with a pumping heart and clammy palms.

Executive Producer: Miss M, it is so nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you!

Miss M: Slightly warily - could this be a trick? Good to meet you too Big Boss. I hope you had a good Easter weekend.

Executive Producer: I did thank you. Now your show just got cancelled didn't it?

Miss M: That it did.

Executive Producer: Well I was wondering what you thought of this. We are looking for a very experienced person to work on a show that is on going at the moment. It would be for 3 months and involve a lot of post production paperwork. We need someone who is on the ball and you come highly recommended. In fact, whenever your name is mentioned everyone goes "Oh Miss M, she is brilliant!"

Miss M: Goes bright red Wow, that is so nice to hear.

Executive Producer: And it is really nice to be able tell you that. I also have heard that you should be looking at a promotion soon and that is why we need you for this show - we want someone who can do the job backwards and we can rely on completely.

Miss M: Completely embarrassed Well yes, that would be great. Wow, I can't believe that people say that about me!

Executive Producer: You should do. Well I will just check with everyone that is all fine and hopefully we can start you on that tomorrow. The team is lovely and I'm sure you are going to have a blast.

Miss M: Thanks, it was really good to meet you properly!

I HAVE A SHOW! I HAVE A SHOW! I HAVE A SHOW!

PEOPLE LOVE ME! PEOPLE LOVE ME! PEOPLE LOVE ME!

I'M JUST THE COOLEST!

Fight through the stress Miss M

I took a day off yesterday to get all the things that I didn't achieve last weekend done in preparation for the climbing break this weekend. Was quite nice actually, very chilled and I accomplished loads including buying some pretty equipment which colour co-ordinates quite well with my harness, shoes and chalk bag.

The staff members at the climbing store thought I was way too girly to be climbing but they'll see. Oh they will see.

But more to the point I got into the office this morning to a wonderful email from my Manager.

Morning ladies

(The show) has been put on hold until further notice until we can find the right presenter for the show. So our little team have been given a 2 week notice (apart from us 3 of course) hopefully (The boss) will be finding other stuff for the guys though.

So I presume that you will be seeing (the boss) probably after Easter to find out what you are doing next.

What a shame hey was looking forward to (The show) oh well you never know.... Maybe it will start again in the near future and we can all work together again.

Have a great Easter break ladies.

Isn't that just wonderful?

I am now show less.

But hopefully not jobless. Even though they have extended my contract if there isn't another show for me to go on they can also give me 2 weeks notice to find another job. The other 2 people spoken about in the above email are staff so they can't be gotten rid of.

Oh wow just in time for me to spend the weekend stressing about whether or not I'll have a job in the next 2 weeks.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't pack it all in and get myself a "real" job.

I can breath freely again.

Miss M can now relax.

I have been rather stressed for the past week as my contract was up at the end of March and no one had let me know otherwise. It is surprising how much the stress of not knowing what is happening with your job can affect your day to day life.

I have pretty much been a cranky crabby bitch and this is a shout out to all of my friends who have had to put up with my foul mood over the past week and a half. Especially Jailbait whom got the brunt of it over the weekend!

I went to climbing with him on Saturday and went all passive aggressive on his arse. That coupled with some serious PMS almost - but thankfully not quite - ended our lovely friendship.

Jailbait: With concern Are you mad at me Miss M?

Miss M: Refusing to look at him No, of course not. Why would I be?

Jailbait: I don't know ... you look ... angry?

Miss M: No I'm not. I'm just going to go play over there ok!

Jailbait: Really worried now What's wrong?

Miss M: Very loudly NOTHING OK!

Jailbait: Ok .. are you sure?

Miss M: YES I'M SURE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

So the good news is that my contract has been extended until end of June and then, of course, we are right back to square one in the stressing unless something comes up sooner.

But until then I can relax with a new contract and a slight pay rise. And Jailbait can relax and stop getting yelled at for no apparent reason.

Good times.

Would someone please destroy Kiss 100?

Now I am all for having a radio in the office. There is nothing worse than working in complete silence with nothing to break the monotony. But you HAVE to have a good radio station.

My new Production Manager has a radio going constantly by her desk but is listening to Kiss 100. This radio station is all RnB housy bouncy music which drives me mental. The radio station is remix channel deluxe, I like alternative rock or even pop at a push.

My ears are starting to bleed. I now know all the lyrics to Kanye West's new song and Mariah Carey's. This is torture.

Actually no this is torture.

50 cent gets airtime on this channel. His songs get played. I hate 50 cent. I have boycotted him in our house. If he comes on the music channel or the radio it is automatically turned off. My housemate tries to torture me with him but I always get my own way.

Miss M: Turn it off Fligela! We hate him!

Fligela: "I take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollipop Go 'head girl, don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot"

Miss M: LA LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING!

Fligela: "I'll take you to the candy shop Boy one taste of what I got I'll have you spending all you got Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)"

Miss M: LA LA LA LA LA LA L AL AL LA LA LA L AL AL LA LA LA LA

Miss M walks over to Fligela and slaps him

Silence

However one can not do this in the office. I have to actually listen to him. And not comment. I can't turn it off. It is torture.

Oh my god.

Seriously.

I hate this.

Your job could be worse

So you know how I gripe on about how absurd some people are that work in TV? Well today my best friend - Miss P - forwarded on a description of a normal day of working in Juba, Sudan. Just imagine if this was your job.

It was a normal night at the good old Bedouin bar. I arrived after my midday rest and I began to do the usual opening up things for evening service.

Miss P: Do we have all the items on the menu?

Chef: No.

Miss P: Why not?

Chef: Well, the cows were sick this week so we don't have any beef.

Miss P: Ok, I can live with that. What else?

Chef: Weeeell, we don't have any cheese.

Miss P: WHAT? Why not?

Chef: Somebody put it in the freezer and now its solid. But we can always get cheese from the market...

Miss P: They sell cheese at the market??? I have never seen it!

Chef: Well, its in a tin.

Miss P: In a tin?

Chef: In a tin.

Miss P: Fine, get some. Anything else?

Chef: We don't have a dessert on the menu. But we could do a banana split I suppose.

Miss P: Excellent. That's the kind of initiative I am looking for!

I walked away feeling that maybe the chefs were learning. Excellent. Next item..

Miss P: Do we have enough alcohol in the freezers for tonight? (fridges don't cool stuff down fast enough)

Barman: Ummm, well, there' a problem there.

Miss P: What now?

Barman: The freezers aren't working.

Miss P: They aren't working. Why?

Barman: I don't know, madam.

Miss P: Did you speak to the electrician?

Barman: No, he has malaria.

Miss P: So how long have they been off for?

Barman: 24 hours

Miss P: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!?!?!?!?!!? Fine, lets have a look at them then... OK, you see this button here?

Barman: The white one?

Miss P: Yes, the white one. Whats that next to it?

Barman: A plug?

Miss P: Yes. Now watch carefully..... You turn the plug on like this..

Finally I felt that everything was marginally under control. And the customers started coming in.... I decide to head to the kitchen to check how things were going on this surprisingly smooth running night and as I passed the bar I am passed by a waitress carrying something rather odd looking.

Miss P: Glancing in confusion at the plate What is that?

Waitress: Shrugging and staring at Miss P in confusion I don't know, the chef just told me to take it

Miss P: Dragging her into the kitchen Come with me. CHEF! What on EARTH is this?

Chef: Madam, THAT is the banana split.

The Chef watched in consternation as Miss P crumpled to the floor in hysteria. For sitting forlornly in the middle of the plate is nothing but a banana cut in half.

That's what you get for trusting initiative.

Could I? I don't know, maybe I could!

At the end of last year my closest friend had a bit of an emotional breakdown and fled London to recuperate in Kenya with her mother for a month or two.

This month or two has now extended to her living in Sudan running some sort of American Corporate Living Complex and exploring other random parts of Africa. She isn't returning to London until July/August and I miss her more than I can explain to anyone. Considering that we usually talk on the phone for more than an hour each day and haven't done so probably since the beginning of December you might understand slightly.

She keeps me grounded and reminds me not to lose my sanity and obsessive over every small thing - which is a common occurrence in the world of Miss M.

The point of this is that of late she has been hinting about how great it would be if I came and joined her in Sudan. You get paid in wonderful American dollars and all of your living expenses are covered so perhaps it isn't that bad an idea - paying off my debt would be a wonderful thing.

Today she informed me* of the many American Companies making documentaries in Sudan and how they have been recently advertising for crew. Apparently the money is amazing and there is so much going on there.

In Sudan? I'm inclined not to believe her so I am waiting on the forwarded mail regarding the said job positions. I think it is just a ploy to get Miss M to come and play with her in Sudan.

But you never know ...

3 or 4 months living in a completely different country earning lots of money and doing something that I love with my best friend near me.

It is actually mildly tempting.

What else is this life for other than taking chances and exploring as many possibilities as you can?

*Whilst we don't have phone contact there is still the wonderful invention of MSN - this is the only way I've been staying sane!

Duty Log

Some more entertaining comments for the ever faithful Duty Log

"In today's edition of (TV show), (Character) said, " . . . . between Len and I" and " . . . . between Pearl and I". She has always been portrayed as an educated woman with a good command of English. She would, therefore, have correctly said, "me" instead of "I". This is not the first time that this solecism has occurred on (TV Show) - among those guilty of it are (Characters), all educated men. Only ignorant scrip-writers could be responsible for giving the caste such ungrammatical lines to utter.Please send them back to school!"

- Seriously? Waaaaaay too much time on your hands lady!

"Viewer called to say ' why do you put rubbish programmes on on Saturday all the other channels have much better programmes and your viewing figures will bomb.' "

- Umm ... thanks? We hope you lead a happy life too.

"On the starting sequence when (TV Characters) jump on to the roof, for (TV show) . The tiles to begin with are rosmary tiles (small tiles 10.5 inches by 6.5 inches) then they look a each other turn and run and the tiles they are standing on have changed to a luglow plus (larger tile 15inches by 9inches) BIG MISTAKE! totaly different tiles, noted by Britains best roofer."

- Ok, I don't even have a response to that one. I am speechless. Some people really need a life.

"Viewer complained 'Why is the background music so loud on your programmes? It is the dialogue on the programmes. It never used to be this loud. Please sort it out.' "

- Get a hearing aid.

And my ultimate favourite

"I don't approve of seeing two men kissing at this time of night. It is a bloody disgrace!"

- What time would you rather see them kissing then? Early in the morning? Mid afternoon tea? Lunch break? hahahhahaaaa

I love the Duty Log

Oh darling we REALLY have to catch up!

Television really is a fickle industry. I just had a rather amusing conversation with a Researcher I made friends with on the 10th floor.

Miss M: Did you end up going out for drinks last night?

Researcher: Well just G and I ended grabbing one.

Miss M: Ye sorry I couldn't make it, but we REALLY have to get together soon for a big one

Researcher: Definitely! But we need someone like you to organise it.

Miss M: Okies, well you send me the list of people you want invited and I'll set it up

Researcher: How about I send you the list of people that we DON'T want and you can work around that?

Blinks

Miss M: Giggles Fair enough, I can work like that

Researcher: You know how it is, you run into them in the corridor and it is like "HI! How ARE you? We REALLY have to go for a drink" all kiss kiss lovey lovey and then flipping them zap signs behind their back as they walk off.

Blinks

Miss M: Yup, I know that feeling well.

And the best part to this is that the Researcher in question is a heterosexual male.

Well I'd swear otherwise but apparently he is!

Hmm ... I hope I'm not one of those people that he does the lovey lovey thing with!

Autograph Hunters

There are these strange and creepy people that hang outside of our building in the mornings. It is kind of disturbing. They are there to collect as many autographs from the "celebrities" who frequent our building. God alone knows WHAT they do with the autographs but hey, each to their own right?

It is always the same people though. And these people are not the cream of the crop. Well I suppose you wouldn't find them outside of a building all morning during the week - the stylish people have more important things to do.

Like live!

These people tend to dress in clothing that looks as if it has been in the back of their wardrobes since the 80's - they also smell as if they haven't bathed since the 80's either! They stand near the exit with their little notepads, pens and cameras chatting amongst each other and swapping what I can only presume to be stories of all the Z-list Celebs that they have met.

But seriously how do they know which celebrities are there that day? Do they have contacts in the show? Do they actually know who is going to be on or do they just show up with the hopes of seeing someone famous?

Do these people not have a life?!

Red carpet events are even worse. These people are there for about 5 hours before the event even begins.

What do you get from this? So you get a squiggle on a piece of paper and a photograph possibly with someone off TV. Big frikken deal.

Get a life.

Please.

P.S - Brussels was great fun. I love old European cities.