So you know how I gripe on about how absurd some people are that work in TV? Well today my best friend - Miss P - forwarded on a description of a normal day of working in Juba, Sudan. Just imagine if this was your job.
It was a normal night at the good old Bedouin bar. I arrived after my midday rest and I began to do the usual opening up things for evening service.
Miss P: Do we have all the items on the menu?
Chef: No.
Miss P: Why not?
Chef: Well, the cows were sick this week so we don't have any beef.
Miss P: Ok, I can live with that. What else?
Chef: Weeeell, we don't have any cheese.
Miss P: WHAT? Why not?
Chef: Somebody put it in the freezer and now its solid. But we can always get cheese from the market...
Miss P: They sell cheese at the market??? I have never seen it!
Chef: Well, its in a tin.
Miss P: In a tin?
Chef: In a tin.
Miss P: Fine, get some. Anything else?
Chef: We don't have a dessert on the menu. But we could do a banana split I suppose.
Miss P: Excellent. That's the kind of initiative I am looking for!
I walked away feeling that maybe the chefs were learning. Excellent. Next item..
Miss P: Do we have enough alcohol in the freezers for tonight? (fridges don't cool stuff down fast enough)
Barman: Ummm, well, there' a problem there.
Miss P: What now?
Barman: The freezers aren't working.
Miss P: They aren't working. Why?
Barman: I don't know, madam.
Miss P: Did you speak to the electrician?
Barman: No, he has malaria.
Miss P: So how long have they been off for?
Barman: 24 hours
Miss P: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?!?!?!?!?!!? Fine, lets have a look at them then... OK, you see this button here?
Miss P: Yes, the white one. Whats that next to it?
Barman: A plug?
Miss P: Yes. Now watch carefully..... You turn the plug on like this..
Finally I felt that everything was marginally under control. And the customers started coming in.... I decide to head to the kitchen to check how things were going on this surprisingly smooth running night and as I passed the bar I am passed by a waitress carrying something rather odd looking.
Miss P: Glancing in confusion at the plate What is that?
Waitress: Shrugging and staring at Miss P in confusion I don't know, the chef just told me to take it
Miss P: Dragging her into the kitchen Come with me. CHEF! What on EARTH is this?
Chef: Madam, THAT is the banana split.
The Chef watched in consternation as Miss P crumpled to the floor in hysteria. For sitting forlornly in the middle of the plate is nothing but a banana cut in half.
That's what you get for trusting initiative.
