The end is nigh

I finish on my show tomorrow. Then at last I get to move onto a project that is really going to challenge me and make my mind tick. I can't wait.

However I am going to miss my current team. I have grown very attached to them over the past few months and even though I know they will only be across the room we won't all be sitting together, laughing together and generally playing the fool together.

I will keep some fond memories of them though.

Series Producer
I will miss all of her emails. And I seriously mean ALL of them. I get into work in the morning and there are already about 20 emails from this woman. She CC's you in on EVERYTHING and you have to read it in case she is actually asking you to do anything. I got caught out on that a couple of times. Recently I've taken to using the "find on this page" button and search for my name - that usually helps and stops me having to actually read everything. But I'll still miss her.

Fellow Co-ordinator
I'm going to miss how we spoke every single day on the phone about 15 times a day. She was based up north and I was in the office. We literally were on the phone to each other every 30 minutes or so. If we didn't talk it was judged to be the end of the world. However she does have this annoying habit of saying "MAZERS" in this high pitched voice which I am not going to miss.

Production Manager
I'm just going to miss him. He says the funniest things and is so laid back and chilled. He told us once how when he was a kid he'd dress up in girls clothing and make people call him Sarah. Yes, he turned out gay. What were the chances?

Researchers 1 & 2
To be honest with you I'm not going to miss them that much. But there are some things I'll miss I guess. Researcher's 2 annoying voice I won't but I'll miss how she lent me that £5 and now seems to have forgotten about it. Oh wait, I won't miss that cause then she'll remember! Researcher 1 I guess I'll miss because every so often she lets down her hard facade and is genuinely quite nice. When she smiles I like her.

I'm not going to miss the Story Producer. He's weird and I don't like him. And German.

And we all know how I LOVE the Germans (Lopz and Fligela you can stop laughing now)

Hitting my head against a brick wall

Sometimes it is the small things that create the most palaver and stress in our lives.

Recently we changed over to a brand spanking new online purchase order and expenses system. (Yes I know it is really boring but a massive part of our job to keep track of spending) It was supposed to make our lives easily but it is making them a lot harder.

For example the PO's are supposed to be send out electronically to companies and freelance staff so that they can invoice us with the correct PO number attached. This then triggers our accounts department to match the two and pay them.

They're not being sent out.

Ergo no one is getting paid.

And we're not receiving products we've ordered because they're not getting paid or even invoiced.

Now even that I can get around. I am just either screening my phone calls or begging forgiveness from Editors and Cameramen in the hopes they don't come and kill me.

However this I can not handle.

I needed to book a bike yesterday. Urgently. This is a very simple procedure where I phone our transport office, give them the details, they book it and give me a reference number and I charge it to our account for the show.

Miss M: Hi can I please book a bike

Transport: Do you have a PO number?

Miss M: PO number? What the fuck?

Transport: You can not book a bike without a PO number as we need one for every bike now.

Miss M: But this is urgent! It's going to take ages for it to get approved through my accountant and we need to get these clips to the Commissioner in about 20 minutes!

Transport: I'm sorry Miss M I can't do anything without the PO number

It's ok Miss M. Just breath.

So I went to raise a PO.

After about 15 minutes of battling my way through this unusable system this happens.

What's this, my programme number doesn't exist?

Miss M: Hi Accountant, I'm trying to raise a PO but my programme number doesn't exist anymore!

Accountant: Huh? What do you mean? It's there, I was just working on it earlier.

Miss M: Well it isn't now. And I need this PO for a bike urgently!

Accountant: For a bike? Why?

Miss M: New rules apparently!

Meanwhile time is ticking on and my Series Producer is freaking out cause we aren't getting the DVD to the Commissioner.

After going around in circles I eventually gave up and made one up.

I should have done that in the first place as transport accepted my made up PO number!

I corrected it today but MAN is this new system making my life a complete hell.

Rejection sucks

Before anyone asks this week.

He turned me down.

Oh well, at least I put myself out there and actually asked someone out!

So we'll speak no more of the cute climbing boy - well until we find another one of course!

Drinks next week?

Miss M: So I kind of have a crush on another guy at climbing

All Colleagues: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Miss M: We might be going for a drink next week

Boss 1: So what does he do?

Miss M: He kind of works in TV

All Colleagues: Pull horrid faces No Miss M!

It's funny how we all don't want to date someone in the industry

Now this was when the grilling started

Boss 1: How old is he?

Miss M: 28

Boss 2: Where does he live?

Miss M: Says an area of London

Boss 1: What does he look like?

Miss M: Tall, Blondy brown hair and well built as he is a climber

Boss 2: Where in England is he from?

Miss M: Panic in her voice I can't remember!!

Boss 2: Well you're going to have too

Boss 1: What is the company he works for?

Miss M: Guys you're scaring me now ...

Colleague: Is he on Facebook?

Miss M: Nervous Why?

Colleague: So we can stalk him silly

Oh. My. God.

Who needs parents when I work with these people?

P.s - I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink next week. He seemed keen and spent Tuesday in a text/sms conversation with me from 6pm till 11pm.

That sounds promising doesn't it?

Hope you're happy now

Just for Spazoid to make him feel better and as if I actually listen to his pleas.

I feel degraded somehow. But it is of my own doing.

Least you're never recognise my face!

I swore I had more money

I wish that I got paid enough money so that I could lose track of how much small items cost.

Miss M: I'm just running over to the shop to grab some crisps, (chips for you non English readers) does anyone want some chips or chocolate?

This is a common desire in our office - in fact in all TV offices I've worked in - we all constantly crave sweets. I think it is because we have this strange idea that they'll help give us back our sanity. Not working quite yet.

Series Producer: Ah yes, could you grab me a diet coke?

Miss M: Sure thing, I don't have any spare change though so will need to get it from you

Series Producer: No problem. Hands me £2 I think that is enough, I can't remember but let me know if it is anymore

MORE THAN £2 FOR A CAN OF COKE?

Seriously?

Does she earn so much money that £2 seems a small amount for a can of coke?

For those of you who don't live here a can of coke can cost you anywhere between £0.40 and £0.80 depending on which shop you get it from. For the record at this one it costs £0.65. Quite a bit less than £2.

I know I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I am super broke at the moment so this has upset me slightly.

I want her bank balance.

Only out for the day

I really pushed the dress code - or lack there of - yesterday at work. I don't know if it was because I was bored or something but I decided to see what I could wear (or how little I could wear) without having someone tell me that it was inappropriate for work.

I brought my boobs out for the day. And let me tell you they were quite literally nearly out.

No one said a thing.

I kept expecting the truly scary Production Executive grab me and haul me into her office whilst screaming at me how bringing my breasts out for an office visit is not allowed in our work place.

But she didn't.

I did however learn the difference between how straight men and gay men react to boobs.

Straight Man and his encounter with boobs

Oh my gosh there are boobs there, what do I do? What do I say? Where do I look?

Straight Man: I was .. umm ... looks me in the eye quickly ... where the details for ... umm ... stares back down at my cleavage those bills ... that we ... umm ... looks back in my eyes quickly before returning to my boobs ... umm ... what were we talking about??

Gay Man and his encounter with boobs

Gay Man: Unabashedly stares at my boobs Oh my god honey! Those are amazing! Seriously! Wow!

Miss M: Aw thanks, I thought I'd bring them out for a visit

Gay Man: You should more often!

Gay men entertain me.

Next time I might heighten my skirt length and lower the cleavage even more and see if they notice THAT!

P.s - I do have rather big boobs so am not just blowing my own horn here!

And you are ??

I ran into an old work colleague today from when I first started out in TV. I was a runner at the Post Production Company she was working at.

To be completely honest with you I don't recognise her from a bar of soap but she seems to remember me so I'll just continue to pretend I remember her.

She said something that perturbed me slightly though.

Ex Colleague: When was it that you left (Post Production Company) ?

Miss M: Sometime in 2005 I think

Ex Colleague: There was a big scandal around you leaving wasn't there? I can't remember the specifics but there definitely was.

Miss M: Confused expression Scandal? I don't remember there being one? I just left for greener pastures.

Ex Colleague: Equally confused Really? I could swear that people talked about you leaving for ages afterwards. There must have been some sort of scandal!

So apparently like being unable to remember her I am also unable to remember the circumstances that had me leaving that particular company.

I am actually rather worried.

Is she confusing me with someone else or have I actually blocked out the memory of leaving the company.

I remember leaving.

I remember walking out of the door and saying goodbye.

But I can't remember why.

I really actually can't.

Was there some big scandal? Did I get fired? What happened?!

I kind of hope I did. That would be sort of cool.

Perhaps I tried to rob them? Or maybe I was busted selling company secrets to a rival Post Production House.

Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, she is getting me confused with someone else. Which would explain why I can't remember her.

She's back in body but not in mind

I'm finding it really hard to concentrate again after not working for 11 days.

It's like my brain would rather think about ANYTHING else other than work. Sometimes it is rather embarrassing.

Bossman: So today Miss M I need you to do something very important

Miss M: Sure thing, what's that?

Bossman: Well I need you too blah blah blah blah important blah blah blah paperwork blah blah people getting paid blah blah blah

Miss M: Dreaming about perfect beaches Uh huh

Bossman: Blah blah blah VERY IMPORTANT

Miss M: Back on my favourite climb Okay

Bossman: Is that fine to do Miss M?

Miss M: He was talking to me? Sorry I missed that last part!

Bossman: That's fine, I need you to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Miss M: Lazing in the sunshine Sure thing

It's getting bad.

I know it's important but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. I'm hoping that either it'll reappear in my holiday fuddled brain or it'll just disappear and not need to be done.

I suppose I could ask him again but seriously people, what are the chances I'll listen on the third try?

140 metres up with a rope

Well I made it back alive.

Just barely. I was so tired that I had to take yesterday off too and spent the day collapsed on the couch staring at the TV in a completely dreamlike state. I think I managed to drank my sorry arse into the shower at about 5pm so that the housemates were not subjected to a dirty and smelly Miss M.

10 days of camping and climbing did not make me appealing on either the eyes or the nose.

The climbing was amazing. I achieved so much personally (and even managed to get a bit of a tan!) that it was definitely worth the money and the adventure.

I did a 140 metre multi pitch climb with Jailbait. Yes folks Miss M actually managed to climb that high along with stopping at different belay points whilst Jailbait climbed the next pitch and set up the belay for me.

However at about 135 metres it all got a bit too much for poor lil ol me and my irrational fear of heights kicked in.

Miss M: I CAN'T DO THIS!!!

Jailbait: It's ok, we're just going to hold you here for about 5 minutes whilst we sort out the anchor and then I'll haul you up ok?

Miss M: Panicked breathing and on the verge of tears Talk to me Jailbait.

Jailbait: About what?

Miss M: Screaming ANYTHING!!!

Moment of silence whilst Jailbait considers what to talk about.

Jailbait: The view is beautiful isn't it?

Ok. So you're partner is having a panic attack about the height. Do you REALLY point out to her about how beautiful the view is from that point?

Wait it gets better.

Miss M: Sobbing Something else!!!! Anything else!!!!!

Jailbait: Hey Miss M, have you noticed that we're so high up that the birds are actually flying below us?

Well I kind of lost it at that moment.

I eventually got hauled up to the top and stood for a couple of minutes clutching the rock sobbing. Eventually I gained up the courage to look over the edge - and yes folks, the view was beautiful.

Then it was time to abseil down. Strangely enough I was ok with that.

The rest of the climbing was quite sedate in comparison but equally challenging each in their own way. I don't think I have ever had so much exercise on holiday ever before.

I'm not impressed with being back at work. I am fighting all attempts by my colleagues to actually get me to do any work. My body might be at this desk but my mind is still back in the sparking blue waters of Sardinia whilst I leisurely snorkel around the colourful fish.

*sighs*

I hate coming home.