Is the end the beginning?

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job. I've been there 1 month short of 2 years and probably have spent more time in the office than my own home overall. It is going to be so strange to not be getting up in the morning, leaving the house, taking the train in to London and walking over to my office with the wonderful view of The South Bank.

Extremely depressing now that summer is inching its way in to London and the view is getting more and more beautiful everyday.

I'll be honest with you.

I. Am. Completely. Terrified.

Other than when I first moved over to London I have not been unemployed in 4 years. I have not been unemployed when there was not even the faintest hint of a job in the air.

I don't know what to do.

I can survive for 1 month without a job but if I don't find one to start on the 1st of May I literally can not pay rent for June. Add to that the fact that unless I find a job in a week or 2 I can't afford to go to Croatia with my friends. That makes me just want to cry.

I'm 26 but right now all I want is the safety of home and my Mother.

It might make it less scary.

Wrong signals

Mixed signals in all aspects of life are just tiring and confusing.

Boys sending you the wrong signal just leads to embarrassing and frustrating situations.

Bosses telling you one thing and then changing around completely without informing you but expecting you to know is equally frustrating and embarrassing.

I worked with my current Manager on my previous show and we had a system with costs and money that I spent. I cleared everything with her and that was the way she liked to do it.

Now we're on this new show together and I was just continuing doing the same thing. I get this email

Miss M - if you can reference to the budget/cost monitor to see what we have budgeted in so I don't have to approve all hotel/travel for the team

Ok, fair enough but don't make me feel as if I'm putting you out for something that I was just used to doing.

Makes me feel a bit like a moron.

Oh well.

The clocks went back in the UK over the weekend. It is now dark at 1700 and thoroughly depressing. When we reach this time of the year I always feel the desperate need to move back to South Africa, I get horribly homesick and just want to return.

I often wonder how many Saffas return to SA vs how many settle and make a life for themselves in the UK.

It's a strange place here. I miss the sunshine.

Sorry this is a really disjointed post but kind of how I am feeling at the moment.

Travel companies suck ass.

The past two days have been nightmare days when everything goes wrong.

Yet it has still been really funny. Well from my point of view, not from the others.

First oopsy

I was away from my desk yesterday for about 30 minutes sorting something out, I came back and discovered the paperwork for a hire car which was only supposed to be delivered today at 1800 sitting on my desk along with a set of car keys.

Researcher: Hey Miss M how come I've received a hire car?

Miss M: I don't know hey, did you accept it?

Researcher: Picture of innocence Well I couldn't say no could I?

So the hire car company was closed and we randomly have a hire car for an extra day. Oh well. One thing is for sure, we are NOT paying for it.

Second oopsy

2 of my Directors were taking a 0620 train to Manchesterthis morning and go to get their fast ticket machine tickets at Euston station and then get on the train. They discover, to their pleasure, that they are booked into first class. That NEVER happens.

However the euphoria is short lived when the ticket inspector comes around and points out that instead of 2 x London to Manchester and 2 x Manchester to London tickets they have 4 x Manchester to London tickets in first class.

They get fined £180 each for fare dodging.

Though they did still get to eat and drink all the free food and booze on the journey.

Good fun. I love our travel company.

Third Oopsy

Train tickets arrive from our travel company today for a journey which is on Saturday 20th from Huddersfield to London.

I look at the tickets and realise that they are for Birmingham to London on Monday 22nd of September.

What fun.

Now what else is going to happen?

Please dear god I want to finish work at a normal time today.

What are the chances?

Fight through the stress Miss M

I took a day off yesterday to get all the things that I didn't achieve last weekend done in preparation for the climbing break this weekend. Was quite nice actually, very chilled and I accomplished loads including buying some pretty equipment which colour co-ordinates quite well with my harness, shoes and chalk bag.

The staff members at the climbing store thought I was way too girly to be climbing but they'll see. Oh they will see.

But more to the point I got into the office this morning to a wonderful email from my Manager.

Morning ladies

(The show) has been put on hold until further notice until we can find the right presenter for the show. So our little team have been given a 2 week notice (apart from us 3 of course) hopefully (The boss) will be finding other stuff for the guys though.

So I presume that you will be seeing (the boss) probably after Easter to find out what you are doing next.

What a shame hey was looking forward to (The show) oh well you never know.... Maybe it will start again in the near future and we can all work together again.

Have a great Easter break ladies.

Isn't that just wonderful?

I am now show less.

But hopefully not jobless. Even though they have extended my contract if there isn't another show for me to go on they can also give me 2 weeks notice to find another job. The other 2 people spoken about in the above email are staff so they can't be gotten rid of.

Oh wow just in time for me to spend the weekend stressing about whether or not I'll have a job in the next 2 weeks.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't pack it all in and get myself a "real" job.

I just love Mondays

Things that really made my Monday this morning

1) The alarm going off and rudely awakening me from a lovely dream about climbing

2) Water being used by a housemate whilst I was in the shower causing an icy jet of water to hit me *shivers at the memory*

3) Burning my hand whilst taking my oats out of the microwave (apparently bowls get very hot when in the microwave for 3 minutes)

4) Standing next to a drunk on the bus who reeked of lager and was drinking a can of Fosters at 9am in the morning. Not to mention the stale cigarette smoke that was permeating from him.

5) Having every conceivable muscle hurting from my climbing session yesterday. I stand up it hurts, I sit down it hurts, I walk it hurts. See the reoccurring theme here?

6) Being given lots of boring tasks to do but being incapable of actually achieving them. Apparently when someone keeps DVD's loose in their luggage they get scratched and then I can't copy them over to our shared drive.

7) Feeling sorry for myself because of all of the above

Basically I want to go home, curl up in bed and just start again tomorrow. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. It will won't it?!

On the plus side I blew Steve back up again on Friday evening and he is now back to sitting on my desk watching over me as I feel sorry for myself.

And yes Lordwiggly, he did enjoy being blown up ever so much ....

Is it time to go home yet?

In an industry where we all work so hard, put in many unpaid hours of overtime and usually work straight through our lunch break, what is the problem with actually leaving on time occasionally?

Yesterday I had a really slow day. There wasn't much to do and I wasn't feeling very productive so when the clock ticked closer to 6pm I started to get really excited about actually leaving on time and getting home before 7pm for once. But then I thought - does it look bad if I leave at 6pm on the dot? Should I wait around? What is the protocol?

We all seem to have this standoff round the time of 6pm as none of us want to be the first to leave because we think it looks bad; but if I'm not actually doing anything why can't I go? I usually end up working from 9am-8pm anyways so what's wrong with leaving on time every so often?

I felt guilty yesterday. I suddenly started thinking that this might look bad, that I might not get offered another contract, that my boss will think I'm a slacker and that I'm not working hard enough.

*slap*

Get over yourself Miss M! Work isn't the be all and end all, leave on time every so often!