I'm tired just thinking about it

I swear that I have the most hard working Series Producer in Television but also the most insane.

Don't get me wrong, she is an absolutely lovely woman and I do adore working for her but she makes me feel as if I slack like there is no tomorrow. (Well to be totally honest with you I do do the bare minimum at times ...)

I left the office 15 minutes earlier than usual yesterday because I was literally falling asleep at my desk from exhaustion due to my climbing weekend. I got in this morning at 0958am and had 22 emails in my inbox! About 90% are from her and were all sent between the hours of 1750pm and 1207am.

Yes ladies and gentleman my crazy Series Producer was still sending emails at 1207am.

At 1001am this morning she calls my mobile

Miss M: Hello Workaholic, I hope you're feeling better today. (She lost her voice yesterday - perhaps that was the reason for the masses of emails?)

Workaholic: A bit better thanks. I'm just on my way in, running a bit late. Can I please talk you through who is coming to the viewings next week?

She then proceeded to go through the stories from the show and who was coming with her to the viewings which aren't happen for another week for 10 minutes.

Miss M: Great (total pointless conversation) I'll see you when I get in

Miss M heads off to make some coffee.

Now people I swear she wandered in 3 minutes later.

The woman phoned me up to tell me she was running 14 minutes late and proceeded to talk me through things that could wait like 5 DAYS AT LEAST!

I do love the woman but she is a total workaholic.

I hope I never turn into her.

Could I? I don't know, maybe I could!

At the end of last year my closest friend had a bit of an emotional breakdown and fled London to recuperate in Kenya with her mother for a month or two.

This month or two has now extended to her living in Sudan running some sort of American Corporate Living Complex and exploring other random parts of Africa. She isn't returning to London until July/August and I miss her more than I can explain to anyone. Considering that we usually talk on the phone for more than an hour each day and haven't done so probably since the beginning of December you might understand slightly.

She keeps me grounded and reminds me not to lose my sanity and obsessive over every small thing - which is a common occurrence in the world of Miss M.

The point of this is that of late she has been hinting about how great it would be if I came and joined her in Sudan. You get paid in wonderful American dollars and all of your living expenses are covered so perhaps it isn't that bad an idea - paying off my debt would be a wonderful thing.

Today she informed me* of the many American Companies making documentaries in Sudan and how they have been recently advertising for crew. Apparently the money is amazing and there is so much going on there.

In Sudan? I'm inclined not to believe her so I am waiting on the forwarded mail regarding the said job positions. I think it is just a ploy to get Miss M to come and play with her in Sudan.

But you never know ...

3 or 4 months living in a completely different country earning lots of money and doing something that I love with my best friend near me.

It is actually mildly tempting.

What else is this life for other than taking chances and exploring as many possibilities as you can?

*Whilst we don't have phone contact there is still the wonderful invention of MSN - this is the only way I've been staying sane!

Reruns and Retries

Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple streudels. Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings ... Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes. Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes.

(So it was a good dream alright?)

Alarm goes off

Miss M: Seriously? You have got to be kidding me?! I only just went to sleep!

So that was the moment I realised that I didn't really have to go to work - who would want a showless co-ordinator with a snotty nose and horrid cough wandering around the building?

I didn't know who to tell I wasn't coming in though since I don't really have an official boss so I emailed 2 people on my floor and my line manager. I'm hoping that none of them mind.

Basically I'm chilling out at home watching reruns and music videos. Hey has anyone noticed how many old school boy bands are making comebacks these days? I got the whole Take That phenomenon (sort of) but I just saw Wet Wet Wet! I thought they'd died or something ... "J" from F1ve was attemping a comeback via The Show not to mention the fact that I'm hearing some rumour about New Kids on the Block reuniting?!

Who actually liked them the first time round?!

Isn't it good that I can spend my day worrying about the things that really matter?

In the Fastlane going Slow

After finishing work at another ungodly hour last night a thought crossed my mind - which would I rather be doing, Working to Live or Living to Work?

In this industry we work such long hours - a normal day is probably in the region of 12 hours when in Production - and the job demands that you put it first above any else that might be happening in your life. This means that your partners, friends, laundry, house cleaning, socialising or just about anything gets put on hold or just never done. It's exhausting. When I'm at work all I'm thinking about is work and when I'm home I'm worrying that I haven't done something and that the shit will hit the fan the following morning.

Am I built for this? I'm only 24 but is this intense work load and lack of socialising hindering my opportunities to meet someone? I look over the office and only 2 of our team are married and less than 40% are in a relationship. None have children and some of the directors barely ever see their partner. Is this something that I want?

I've always been ambitious and I really want to go far in my career but I also want to settle down and have a family - I want the 2 or 3 children, big house, baking goodies in the big farm kitchen and dancing around the garden in wellies and a nightdress. (strange dream I have)

Do you think it's possible for me to have both in this industry? Or am I travelling really slow in this incredibly stressful fastlane?