Cry me a River

Most of you who follow my blog will know that I soon become unemployed and am job hunting. So far without any success but we are still holding thumbs on that front.

I have never realised before how stressful looming unemployment is and how it can affect you in ways you just don't expect. I do feel sorry for my friends and housemates as I just start crying sometimes for no apparent reason.

Housemate: Can you please pass me the salt?

Miss M: Voice cracking from welling up It isn't anywhere near me!!!

Housemate: Umm Miss M it's fine, I can get it myself

Miss M: Tears starting now I know

Another evening on the telephone to Lopz at 3am in the morning

Lopz: Miss M are you ok? What's wrong?

Miss M: Wracked with sobs I DON'T KNOW!!! I JUST FEEL SO SAD!!!

Lopz: Do you want me to come round?

Miss M: Gasping for breath between the tears No I'll be fine, I just can't stop crying

*sighs*

My father upset me greatly today because he ended up speaking to a Line Producer in Cape Town who informed him that she has more work than she knows what to do with and that if my skill sets are what she is looking for she could "offer me a job before my plane hits the ground".

I don't know if I am ready to go home yet but if no job comes up soon in London I might just have too.

I don't know if I could leave my London Family quite yet.

I just don't know.

Missing, please call if found

I'm so tired.

I can't seem to catch up on my sleep from last week but I must admit that the day on the couch is helping with that. 

Oh the joys of sick days.

I feel like I've lost my spark, I have no energy for anything or anyone.

What does one do to get it back?

I can't be satisfied can I?

Things aren't that exciting at work at the moment.

I got what I wished for - a show - but it isn't the most fulfilling one. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I can do this job backwards and at the moment it isn't inspiring me.

I have until the end of June on this show but I'm wondering if I can even stick it out until then. It's tedious. Granted I get to start at 10am and actually leave at 6pm which gives me plenty of time to indulge in climbing after work and actually get away for the weekend but I need something more than that.

I want to be so busy I am run off my feet. I like working late and getting things done. I love the urgency of TV. I love the insanity. I thrive on it.

Jailbait got mad at me on Sunday when I told him about a show I want to put myself forward for. It would be a promotion but it would mean working solidly for 3 weeks until midnight without a day as it is a live studio show. For my career it would be amazing. For my social life it would be death.

I guess I'm just bored?

Autograph Hunters

There are these strange and creepy people that hang outside of our building in the mornings. It is kind of disturbing. They are there to collect as many autographs from the "celebrities" who frequent our building. God alone knows WHAT they do with the autographs but hey, each to their own right?

It is always the same people though. And these people are not the cream of the crop. Well I suppose you wouldn't find them outside of a building all morning during the week - the stylish people have more important things to do.

Like live!

These people tend to dress in clothing that looks as if it has been in the back of their wardrobes since the 80's - they also smell as if they haven't bathed since the 80's either! They stand near the exit with their little notepads, pens and cameras chatting amongst each other and swapping what I can only presume to be stories of all the Z-list Celebs that they have met.

But seriously how do they know which celebrities are there that day? Do they have contacts in the show? Do they actually know who is going to be on or do they just show up with the hopes of seeing someone famous?

Do these people not have a life?!

Red carpet events are even worse. These people are there for about 5 hours before the event even begins.

What do you get from this? So you get a squiggle on a piece of paper and a photograph possibly with someone off TV. Big frikken deal.

Get a life.

Please.

P.S - Brussels was great fun. I love old European cities.